All categories - 15 November 2007

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

2007-11-15 02:00:44 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

I was living with her three years. I looked after her daughter (during the ages 9-11), did all the housework (while she worked, I looked after everything), and in the beginning of the relationship I gave up my cat for her. Now, two years into the relationship, my mom signed her car over to my GF with my approval. I wanted to help her out. Then, three days later, she comes home with a $2000.00 Shi-tzu purchased at a commercial pet store. She didn't warn me about it, just showed up with the pet (she made sure her daughter was there when she presented the dog, so that i wouldn't get angry in front of the little girl).
So, I say I don't like the dog, and she says "If you don't like it, you are going to have to leave."
So, she gets the car, and then gets a dog, then favours the dog over me. (And I babysat her daughter for months while she to school to finish her degree)... once she was done getting ahead. She left me behind.

2007-11-15 02:00:38 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family

2007-11-15 02:00:33 · 7 answers · asked by ? 2 in Singles & Dating

Okay, I am sure this got some perverts attention. NO, that is not what this is about.

Does your partner have that certain smell. Its not perfume or shampoo or any other concoction like that. When you hug them and smell their neck, is there that certain smell that you always detect. I sense it with my wife, yet she says I have none.

Am I the only person that experiences this?

2007-11-15 02:00:22 · 37 answers · asked by BirdogsID 6 in Polls & Surveys

People have mentioned to me that the only vegetarians they know are sick all the time. Lately, I feel like I have been eating a lot of the same stuff over and over - (ex- pizza, fries, grilled cheese, etc). What are some better dishes? Please list actual things you've made and not just recipes from a veg site. Any personal feedback will help. Thanks

2007-11-15 02:00:16 · 11 answers · asked by vmp009 1 in Vegetarian & Vegan

2007-11-15 01:59:55 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Ford

2007-11-15 01:59:32 · 5 answers · asked by cantonlubern 2 in Engineering

the first product to have a bar code was wrigleys gum!!

2007-11-15 01:59:26 · 21 answers · asked by jimmiejet 6 in Polls & Surveys

Hundreds of years and years ago, Bible scholars did not know the spiritual meaning of 2 Peter 3:8. But by God´s mercy we know what is meant because we are very near to the end of time( Daniel 12:8-9).

God reveals his secrets to his prophets in the Bible alone and its entirety( Amos 3:7). Because for everything there is time and judgement (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8). The true believers will know time and judgement (Ecclesiastes 8: 5-6).

The unsaved do not know the time because they are not watching (Revelation 3:3 , 1Thessalonians 5:1-6). The only place we watch is by reading the Bible.

Think for example of Herod, he did not know about the birth of Jesus, only the wise man knew (Matthew 2:7).

The Flood occured in 4990 BC. God warned seven(7) days again to Noah (Genesis 7:4).

Each day for thousand years equals to 7000 years. 7000+4990=2011, remember that after adding two calendars together we subtract 1, because there is no year(0) zero - 2011 end of the world, did you know?

2007-11-15 01:59:04 · 27 answers · asked by ? 2 in Religion & Spirituality

I ahve been off xanax for almost 4 days now, feel a little more awake and a lil of the pins and needles, but don't want to take it any longer. I would like to take it on an as need basis. I ahve been on xanax for almost 9 months sometimes up to 2 mg everyday. I don't want to talk to the dr. who precribed him cause he only saw me 1 time. I have tried to wean off but that seemed more difficult with more symptons. I woke up 1 morning and decided just to stop. I actually feel more like myself. Just wondering if anyone else has done this w/o weaning and was ok and how long before you felt 100% back to normal, just not so " awake ".

2007-11-15 01:59:02 · 3 answers · asked by me 1 in Other - Diseases

Why is it when ur married and YOU are unhappy its more important to make everyone else happy. Why can't YOUR family see that YOU know what is best for YOU not them. Why can't they just trust the fact that YOU know urself and YOU know what u want outta life. Why is it when u attempt to see what makes YOU happy YOU are the a**hole in it all. Why can't YOUR family or anyone else just be happy w/ a decision YOU may possibly make to make YOU happy. I'm sorry if this makes no sense as I am very upset right now and as u can see I obviously can't talk to my family about it so I have noone else :( What do u do in a situation like this? I'll tell u what I did. I just said screw it and I'm staying in my marriage becuz thats what everyone else wants. I'm vry close w/ my family (mom and sister) and to tell them to get lost or anything along that sort is not an option for I can't do that.

2007-11-15 01:58:55 · 19 answers · asked by NONAME 4 in Marriage & Divorce

2007-11-15 01:58:52 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Women's Health

2007-11-15 01:58:47 · 7 answers · asked by KobeFan4Lyfe24 2 in Other - Society & Culture

please someone help its frustrating me!!!!!!

everytime i try it says something about a firewall and tracking ??? what does that mean!!!!

i use a mac laptop which should make a diff cause my brother plays it all the time on his.....

2007-11-15 01:58:33 · 2 answers · asked by Poosocks 6 in Video & Online Games

i felt really content with my faith, and proud to be who i am. it's such a pretty song.

will that upset the christian god since i'm pagan?

2007-11-15 01:58:21 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

2007-11-15 01:57:54 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous in Medicine

I have to write a paper on this issue.....what are 10 things i can cover on this paper?

2007-11-15 01:57:50 · 6 answers · asked by .:♥x♥:. 1 in History

Apes should have 95% of the rights that humans have, correct? And mice should have 90% of the rights humans have, correct?

2007-11-15 01:57:28 · 18 answers · asked by Jack 5 in Politics

is it due some kind of deficiency or due to some other reason. please tell how do i get rid of this habit permanently.

2007-11-15 01:57:23 · 12 answers · asked by y dos it hapns with me only? 1 in Other - Health

No matter how hard I try my dentist is totally failing at diagnosing my extremely painfull condition it is like toothache all day everyday. I have been like this for 2 years and it nearly drove me to suicide. I also need all of my wisdom teeth out but my dentist wont remove those either and when I ask him why, he cant tell me. What is going on?

2007-11-15 01:57:18 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Dental

Does anyone have a Columbia House membership? If so, can someone please tell me how I can speak to a customer service rep in order for me to cancel my membership? They ask for an account number but I can't find the number anywhere. Please help!!

2007-11-15 01:57:09 · 3 answers · asked by JAMILLA S 1 in Renting & Real Estate

I found out that my wife e-mailed a picture of herself to some guy she met in an online game. It really pissed me off. She just kind of blew it off as no big deal and that I was overreacting. I was not snooping around, I was on the computer.. then I left.. did not log out... when I came back I opened up the mail, turns out it was her mail not mine. She loged in while I was gone and did not log off. It was just a picture, nothing nasty, no text. When I ask her why she would do that, she just said it's no big deal, dont worry about it, just wanted to sho them I'm a girl. Hmm.. them, I say... him and his room-mate she says... This has ate at me for days and she will not talk with me about it anymore. Should I just let it go .... ?

2007-11-15 01:56:40 · 13 answers · asked by Laz37 2 in Marriage & Divorce

how would you use it for this

lim x-->0 (arctan(5x))/(sin(7x))

2007-11-15 01:56:29 · 3 answers · asked by m_carl 1 in Mathematics

why is time going faster? is there another theory beside the "as we get older time appears to go faster"?

2007-11-15 01:56:10 · 4 answers · asked by Honesty 2 in Astronomy & Space

Personally I love Welsh, Spanish, French & American.

2007-11-15 01:55:55 · 39 answers · asked by Mimkat hate the new Yahoo Answers so has retired. 7 in Languages

whta is the difference betwenn thin crust pizze....deep dish pizza and personall pan pizza...am sooo confused

2007-11-15 01:55:52 · 4 answers · asked by sammy88 2 in Ethnic Cuisine

If you had to describe your g/f, bf/ husband or wife in a candy, what would it be? what would they call you? and why?

my husband would be a Snickers cuz he really satisfies (not just sexually but in everything) lol.

to him he would describe me as M&M's cuz i melt in his mouth AND in his hands. (minds out of the gutter!!! meaning i love talking to him, and when he talks he likes to rub my back or touch my hands or something. and he makes me melt!!)

ok what candy are you? and why? and what candy are they and why?

2007-11-15 01:55:51 · 4 answers · asked by CUDDLESCUTIE 1 in Marriage & Divorce

I've heard that cotton is not good for cold - what works best? Particularly in rain, or freezing fog.

2007-11-15 01:55:10 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Weather

2007-11-15 01:54:51 · 67 answers · asked by H.M.C 7 in Polls & Surveys