Other - Pregnancy & Parenting - July 2007

When I met him, he was 27 years old living at his dad's house and had just lost a job working as a night auditor at a hotel. We dated for a while then I found out he had an 8 year old son from ex-wife of 4-5 years, which I was attracted to because I wanted to have kids someday and he seemed like a good father and not scared of marriage. He was a nice people person, always helping out and doing romantic things for me. He even started saving up for my engagement ring after only 4 months of us dating then surprised me with it about a year later.

When we met, I was working as a cocktail waitress at bars and drinking couple times a week and he didn’t like it and almost dumped me so I quit drinking to prove I wasn’t an alcoholic (which I wasn’t) and even quit the job so he wouldn’t get jealous and it was just a fun job for me to make extra cash with anyway; I didn’t care about it.

I’m 22, he’s 29 and we’ve been living in MY house for about a year. Now we’re expecting a baby boy next month and I’m not working (I quit my job as a poker dealer because they had no business so it wasn’t worth my time) and he just started a job a month ago as a graveyard cook at a restaurant. Before that, he took his first semester of college and I pretty much did his work for him and tried to explain it to him. I’m not saying I’m a genius but I’ve been to college, tech school and was always head of my class.

He was in the Coast Guard when he was my age, married and taking care of his ex and their son working 2 jobs. He was also in a band doing small bar gigs when I met him. This all sounded good to me but now I’m questioning our relationship. I’ll leave out the other problems we have but my main concern is with money. We both want to start a business and I WILL but I don’t think he has what it takes. Today he told me he wants to quit his job because it’s too much with the 11 hour shifts and he has no time to spend with his son and I, and I would be fine with that but I know he’s not going to help me out as much as I need him to get this business started so we don’t have to worry about money and finding crap jobs.

He doesn’t seem to think long term about things, he gets frustrated, and he’ll enthusiastically help out anyone who asks him which uses up most of his time but when I ask him for help, I get an attitude, it gets done half assed or not at all. He doesn’t have common sense sometimes and I’ll end up having to do what I asked him to do anyway.

When I was on my own, I had plenty of money for my needs, enough space in my house where it wasn’t hard to maintain and it was much easier overall. This guy doesn’t pick up after himself and thinks if he cleans the house once a month I’ll be satisfied. I do almost all housework. He has tons of clothes and the laundry is ridiculous. He’s a packrat and I need an organized clean home to run my business out of.

I’ve always been a generous person and I split everything with him and go out of my way to do things for him. Last week, he told me his paychecks were going to start going into my bank account, then today he grabs all the money and says he’s holding onto it.

We broke up once before because I let his friend stay with us which I thought was for overnight and turned into a month. I finally kicked him out because it was causing problems in our relationship and I’m not supporting an alcoholic grown man 10 years older than me. Fiancé was complaining about how much money he spent on me when I never asked him to do it and I spent just as much, if not more, on him.

Fiancé was offended I asked his friend to leave and one night when I got home from my poker job, both of their stuff was gone and a couple of my things. I actually came home early that night and caught him moving the rest out and he claimed it was an accident and returned my stuff. Two months later he begged for me back and I gave him a chance. I’m sure it’s better living with me than his parents.

I do love this guy and don’t want my baby to grow up without a father, but he’s really holding me back and I can’t take his little toddler temper tantrums when he’s asked to do something. I will have enough of that with my new baby and I need some support by my side, not another kid I have to look after. I’m just writing my thoughts here and wondering if it would be better for me to raise this child alone and work on my business since I doubt he’ll be of much help. I’d never deprive him of seeing his son and hope we could be friends or at least civil with each other.

I might add that I don’t have a family myself except for my grandmother but she will be gone any day now. My mother is a psychotic *****, seriously. She’s even going to mental health court and was on drugs over 10 years. I’m not really allowed to see my younger siblings and they live far. Never met my dad and don’t talk to any other relatives. Will the love of my child be enough to keep me strong to make my dreams come true and our lives better without any other support or help?

2007-07-29 14:36:26 · 14 answers · asked by Holly Berry 4

I did a test dna diagnostics, without the mother but she knew. Do the results mean there is a .04 chance someone matches my daughter genetically beter then I do. Either your her father or you aren't right? How do iread that?

2007-07-29 12:30:56 · 12 answers · asked by Nathan 2

Can you park in a Parent and child parking space if you are pregnant??
Not that I want to, but technically, you are parent and child??

2007-07-29 10:51:14 · 28 answers · asked by Amanda 6

Having a little debate with a friend about labor. We're talking about first labors, but I think if you answer for all babies it would give is a better idea.

1. What week were you in when you went into labor/had baby.
2. How long was labor.
3. Did you use pain meds.

Thanks

2007-07-29 07:54:19 · 17 answers · asked by Redkenwolf 2

2007-07-29 04:56:51 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-07-29 04:55:59 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

Late last night, I came across a young girl on the internet. She naively posted enough information that in less than five minutes time, I had her home address, and a name and phone number to go with that address. Using that name I was also able to locate her father's place of employment.

I mentioned to this child that this was dangerous, and she tried to say she lived elsewhere. She got very defensive and blamed it on a friend and used profanity in her profile claiming to be her friend. I said nothing further, and went to bed thinking about this-worried, really, because it was so easy. I have children of my own.

I discussed the issue with my husband this morning, and I called this child's mother. I am sure it was an akward call-I certainly felt awkward making it. But I felt it was necessary.
The mother sounded shocked, but hopefully will have a discussion with her child about the dangers of the internet.

2007-07-29 03:37:13 · 25 answers · asked by StayAtHomeMomOnTheGo 7

does a nanna have?

2007-07-28 16:59:55 · 11 answers · asked by mikebnchprss 3

But I feel like I'm being blamed for splitting us apart ....I did go through depression after finding out I was preggs again, mostly due to the fact that my partner wasn't quite supportive/loving with the prior pregnancy. In short, I freaked, I was scared and so I avoided him for a few months....now it's too late? Is there no possible chance for being together as a family now? I mean, he doesn't have a job or a car, not like I want him for his material value....I should at least go for child support....kinda answering my own q here....

2007-07-28 13:41:03 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

i know it has something to do with pregnacy...but wht adoes an "abortion" mean?

2007-07-28 13:31:04 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

A pregnant woman is killed by someone and the infant child dies. how many states have laws charging the killer with the murder of both the parent and the unborn child?

2007-07-28 12:01:52 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

New mom here. I was curious how many car seats you have? Should I buy one for my car and my husband's? Is it a big hassle to have one and move it from car to car? I'm just looking for experienced moms' perspectives.

2007-07-28 09:10:21 · 10 answers · asked by tdangel30 2

I WANT THE BIRTH CONTROL TO BE IN THE MAIL IN A DISCRETLY PACKAGED BOX OR WHATEVER JUST CONFIDENTIAL BOX ALL FOR JUST FREE NO CHECK UPS NO DOCTORS
THEY RIP YOU OFF


PLEASE POST IF YOU CAN.

THANKYOU

ANY ANSWERS ARE HELPFUL

P.S EMAIL ME TOO

2007-07-28 09:09:59 · 5 answers · asked by lacey s 1

My husband and i are having a lot of problems just seems like we can never get along anymore. we already have a 15 month daughter together, and im afraid of her suffering. i dont want her to be around us when we fight, but he usually freakin snaps right when she is around. he travels alot and is barely home, so i raise my lil one by myself. im so scared of raising two without the support of my husband and with our relationship being so rocky. im so confused, i dont know what i would do without him, yet some days im glad when he has left for work!! lately he has been home and it has just been an up hill battle, he thinks im lying about how miserable i am while being pregnant, wouldnt you if your pregnant and have those syptoms plus a period with all of those symptoms too, he just dont seem to understand!! anyone's advice would be great!!

2007-07-28 05:49:21 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Hi! I am the proud mummy of a little beauty born 18 days ago. The birth was easy and i didn't get one stitch!! Although i am very tired with the baby and the rough nights (not so bad now!), the truth is found myself feeling desire just a week after her birth. Sometimes i do feel tempted to have sex , because i feel so good! Is it too early?? How long after birth did you restarted your sex life?? I am amazed with myself, too. It wasn't like this with my first baby. Thanks!

2007-07-28 04:15:46 · 18 answers · asked by Rosemary 2

I posted yesterday that we were finally going to have another baby after a year of trying. Much to my surprise, The answers team deleted the question for inappropriate content and said it was against community guidelines. This happen to anyone else?

2007-07-28 02:20:50 · 4 answers · asked by topo8032003 3

If so, what age do you think this should stop? My husband and I had a debate about this last night. We also wondered if it was a cultural thing (he is European and I am American). Thanks!

2007-07-28 00:40:45 · 19 answers · asked by Jenna282 3

Sex or violence? Please explain your answer.

2007-07-27 22:54:19 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

its for my high school report

2007-07-27 19:20:50 · 9 answers · asked by KDLVRGRL 1

Here's my story... I am a Day Care Provider and have a family in my care that I've had for the last 3 years. They are moving and Monday will be my last day with them. The mom is single with 4 kids. I know I'm going to miss them, the kids are great and she's a wonderful client. I want to give them something to show how much I have apprieciated her over the last few years and how much they will be missed. Any ideas???

2007-07-27 16:31:03 · 9 answers · asked by Kishauna_P 3

Someone educated... I'm being told by my other half that 99% of a baby is made up of the father, and that the mother "only has the egg".. whatever!! We carry them for 9 months & give birth!! All the man does is get off!! Anyway, my question is... seriously... is a baby really 99% daddy 1% mommy??

2007-07-27 13:45:50 · 14 answers · asked by Laura 3

Ok here is my info, what does everyone think??
1. My periods are irregular, non existant almost. I have 1 child. Been on BCP on & off for many yrs,for regularity and BC.
2.Was off bc for about 6 mo. Just started on them again about July 7th. Had intercourse same day I started bc, he withdrew in time, but he ejac. still in the vicinity. Too close for comfort.
3. Since then, I've been really moody, I sleep for hrs. Way more than Im use to, hungry all the time, crave foods I usually dont eat, 0 brest tenderness-have been cramping (mild) since then, sometimes sharp pains. I started spotting--wayy to early than I would normaly, even on the pill. In 10 yrs, on them, I have never spotted. On bcp my periods are predictable, to the day!
4. Took hpt on wed-neg. I've read to wait 19 days after date of possible conception to retake. I havent yet.
5. Last time, I didnt know I was pg, but I was moody, sleepy, & hungry with breast tenderness.
Could the hpt be wrong or should I call a dr?

2007-07-27 13:03:02 · 2 answers · asked by catholicskoolgrl101 1

My 2 year old grandson weighs 40 lbs. 8 oz. and my daughter is expecting again. She needs a double stroller but the weight limit on most strollers is 40 pounds. Where can she find a stroller to accomodate both children without spending a fortune?

2007-07-27 11:31:23 · 7 answers · asked by beezersmutti 2

2007-07-27 10:41:16 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

I choose to call all of my children by their given names but don't mind if other people choose to shorten them and call them by a nickname. My husband and I were discussing what nicknames people will call our new daughter due in Oct. Her name will be Emilee Grace and he said people will call her Em or Emma...I'm ok with Em but despise Emma (sorry not to offend anyone who loves that name but reminds me of a dog we had that would bite). I suggested we tell people to call her Lee as a nickname and he said we can't do that its rude.

Is it rude to ask people to use 1 nickname over the other? How can we tactfully tell people to please not use Emma?

Thanks Mom to 4 expecting #5 in Oct

2007-07-27 10:13:23 · 25 answers · asked by girlzmommy 5

2007-07-27 10:04:02 · 13 answers · asked by annabelle m 1

Moms! Have you been here?
My husband had a great job, we had our daughter, and when she was 5 months old, his company did a big lay-off. Since then he has been trying to find jobs that pay enough, and then we had a custody issue requiring us to move into a 3 bedroom. I had to go back to work to afford it and my mom would watch the baby. A month after moving, my mother got sick. We found a sitter, then she quit. We cant afford daycare, but make too much for assistance. Now debts that we have been trying to pay for a while are getting demanding, we have had to take a loan out on our only vehicle, and I had to cut my hours from 5 days to 2 so that I could take our daughter. We are paying rent late just to make sure the electicity stays on, the truck is falling apart, and so am I.
Our daughter is #1 and is always well taken care of, but Im starting to feel like we're in so deep that we will never get out and we will be buried. We are careful spenders and dont splurge. How do we fix this?

2007-07-27 07:50:14 · 7 answers · asked by ? 4

My sister and I want to dress them in coordinating costumes, like Tom and Jerry, etc. but want something original. Any ideas?

2007-07-27 06:56:51 · 2 answers · asked by Meliskell 2

My mom knows that im no longer a virgin. And when i went to the doctors, my doctor kept throughing in birth control. But when i mentioned it to my mom, she kinda laughed it off and said i should'nt be having sex. Basically she took it for a joke but i was serious. So how can i get her to be serious about my question and her response

2007-07-27 05:16:32 · 17 answers · asked by Glow 1

I have a 6 month old daughter and I am currently looking for a boyfriend. I have all the qualities most guys look for and I'm cute. But my daughter is the center of my life. I do for her and spend all of my time with her. Yes. If I had a dude I would make time for him as well but mostly my time is for my daughter. Is the fact that I have a daughter making guys not want to be with me?

2007-07-27 04:00:47 · 14 answers · asked by mamas_love2u 2