Moms! Have you been here?
My husband had a great job, we had our daughter, and when she was 5 months old, his company did a big lay-off. Since then he has been trying to find jobs that pay enough, and then we had a custody issue requiring us to move into a 3 bedroom. I had to go back to work to afford it and my mom would watch the baby. A month after moving, my mother got sick. We found a sitter, then she quit. We cant afford daycare, but make too much for assistance. Now debts that we have been trying to pay for a while are getting demanding, we have had to take a loan out on our only vehicle, and I had to cut my hours from 5 days to 2 so that I could take our daughter. We are paying rent late just to make sure the electicity stays on, the truck is falling apart, and so am I.
Our daughter is #1 and is always well taken care of, but Im starting to feel like we're in so deep that we will never get out and we will be buried. We are careful spenders and dont splurge. How do we fix this?
2007-07-27 07:50:14 · 7 answers · asked by ? 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
On top of it all, my wonderful In-Laws are at it again, adding emotional and mental stress to the situation.
I really feel like Im going to crack, and for someone who has always been in control and found a way out, that is a shock. Im starting to feel like a bad Mommie.
2007-07-27 07:51:29 · update #1
My husband works, and has had no breaks in employment, but his income has gone down, so both of us work.
2007-07-27 08:10:14 · update #2
Joey, you dont read well. We have a 3 bedroom due to custody issues. We signed a 1 year lease, then the custody issues fell through. OBVIOUSLY these werent with our daughter.
2007-07-27 08:12:10 · update #3
We dont trust my in-laws, and there is a second child involved part-time here who's temper is not suited to sharing a room with their baby sister. We cant downgrade without breaking our lease.
2007-07-27 09:06:33 · update #4
I think your first step should be to just cry your heart out. Tell your husband or other confidant how burdened you are and just let it all out. Although your problems wont be gone, you will feel a tremendous burden lifted off your shoulders.
Also, Contact a credit counselor as far as getting your debt under control.
Also, maybe you could disuss with your leasing agent the ramifications of breaking the lease.
Or maybe you could readt the small print and come up with a way to break your lease.
2007-07-27 08:29:34 · answer #1 · answered by f s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You poor thing! First thing, you are NOT a bad mommy. You are going thru a rough patch and you will survive it.
Another poster suggested getting a roommate for your third bedroom, and I think that's a good idea, if you can find someone trustworthy. That extra cash should help you out tremendously.
Are you renting from an apartment complex, or from an individual? Is it possible for you to approach your landlord and explain what happened with the custody situation, and ask if you can downgrade to a 2 bedroom before your lease is up? If you're in an apartment, the worst they can say is no. But if they agree, that will save you some money.
If your in-laws cannot assist with daily day care, is there any way that you and your husband can work opposite hours, at least temporarily? That way you will not need a daycare provider or baby sitter. It will be hard, I warn you, but at least it's a temporary measure to help you until you get on your feet.
If not, and if you have a church, does it offer daycare? Many churches do - - I don't know about the cost, but it may be worth checking out. Also, are there any stay at home moms in your area that you know, or that might offer childcare?
Most importantly, hang in there. Things will get better.
Best of luck to you!
2007-07-27 09:13:03 · answer #2 · answered by Lori H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where is your husband? Does he have a job now and if not, he should be taking care of your child while you work... Then you can go to 5 days.... Find jobs working opposite shifts for a while until you can get your depth paid off and reduce your need for higher cash flow...
Why do you have a 3 bedroom when you only need two?
Make sure you cut up every credit card you have in the house so you can not go further into depth... Go with cash from now on... Seek out a depth counseling service... They are usually free and they will help you work out a budget and payment plan... Most people don't know they can have their interest reduced or negotiate a settlement on depth....
2007-07-27 08:02:04 · answer #3 · answered by Joey_Pit 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ohhh come on now...your not a bad mommie!!! everyone has to go thru rain to get to sunshine, and you just have to think, that this has to end sometime, it wont always be horrible. My parents were so broke when they had their daughters, that my mother broke down in tears, when my dad dropped a can of spaghetti sauce on the side walk...they had to eat the buttered noodles again...but the most important thing is they didnt loose sight of what mattered most, eachother and their family. tough times will get better, just focus on your husband and your baby, you will make it through
2007-07-27 08:05:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
if you have one child down grade to a two bedroom theres money back into your pocket. a baby doesnt need two rooms. in fact two kids under 5 can share a room. get your in laws to help with child care and try to find a job where you work opposite hours from your husband that way he can watch your child. shop thrift shops for clothes babies dont need name brand and neither do you. your husband may need a second job.
2007-07-27 08:27:59 · answer #5 · answered by kleighs mommy 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Im so sorry that you're going through this, but i have to tell you not to lose faith, im sure better times will come & you will look back at this.. remember God doesnt give us any situation we cant handle, so im sure you'll make it, stay strong, for your daughter.. I'll be praying for you!! God Bless*
It doesnt matter how bad things get, nothing is stronger than JesusChrist, ask Him to give you the help you need.. He'll never abandon you
2007-07-27 08:01:08 · answer #6 · answered by ˚despeяate housewife˚ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Find a roommate to take your third bedroom. The extra cash should help.
Good Luck
2007-07-27 08:41:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋