I have a 6 month old daughter and I am currently looking for a boyfriend. I have all the qualities most guys look for and I'm cute. But my daughter is the center of my life. I do for her and spend all of my time with her. Yes. If I had a dude I would make time for him as well but mostly my time is for my daughter. Is the fact that I have a daughter making guys not want to be with me?
2007-07-27 04:00:47 · 14 answers · asked by mamas_love2u 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
The answer to your question is yes. Now the good news . . . any guy who does not want to be with you because you have a daughter you don't need to be with anyways. I'm not going to lie it will be very hard to find a man that will except you and your daughter with out feeling pressured for a major commitment. Also I would recommend that you not even introduce your daughter to your bfs unless you are seriously committed to him.
2007-07-27 04:09:28 · answer #1 · answered by Nyx 3 · 0⤊ 7⤋
Even for a married couple, the time that a new mother spends with her child is often a cause of relationship problems.
Listen to yourself: "make time for him". You already know that no matter how he is, he will be second fiddle. Most guys know this as well.
This is not only a stop sign but a relationship nightmare as well. Two people have a hard enough time getting to know one another without the added strain of a third person in the picture.
Do not get me wrong. There are plenty of guys who can cope with this, especially if they do find you very close to their ideal. But their are a lot of single Mom's out there who will never be able to compete with single women who do not have kids.
Pay attention to the men who do approach you. Some will keep their distance because of your status as a mother (these might have trouble coping). Most of the others will fall into two extremes. Those who figure that you might be easy (these are the Players) and those who can cope with your child because they see something in you that they really like or need (these are looking for a long term relationship).
Just be open and honest about yourself and your relationships (with daughter and guy). Do Not Get Desperate. There is someone out there, just do not rush anything.
2007-07-27 04:10:41 · answer #2 · answered by Richard 7 · 8⤊ 0⤋
Dependingon your age, i would say your daughter could be a huge deterent for some guys. If you are younger than 25 you are going to be hardpressed to find a guy your age who wants that comittment. Most men in thier early 20s want to party and have fun before having children. If you are in your late 20s some men may still have a problem with your daughter, but if you find a guy that you really like, build up an attraction before you tell him you have a daughter. many men will change their minds about a gf's child if they really feel alot for the girl.
If you are older than 30, then usually men will be able to deal with a child. Im assuming you are younger though.
2007-07-27 04:11:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Probably not as a serious relationship. It tends to scare guys away almost immediately. They dont want to be a surrogate dad. They dont want to compete for your time. They're not mature enough to handle a baby. These are all classic reasons why they run the opposite direction.
My guy was one of those guys. But I didnt introduce him to my daughter until we felt the relationship was serious enough. We focussed on each other and were able to make the decision together that we were right for each other and that the "package deal" he was getting was a bonus.
4 years later, we're expecting a son.
2007-07-27 04:09:35 · answer #4 · answered by rebecca d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it could be; but i found the man of my dreams when i was pregnant; the father left me behind with out a second look, and my hubby is the most wonderful dad i could have asked for for my son. there are guys out there, but they can be hard to find. you just need to keep looking, im sure youll find the right guy you will love both you and your daughter unconditionally. depends on your age as well; younger guys are more typically into the have fun scene, and dont want to be bothered with a girlfriend who has a baby and cant get up and go at the drop of a hat. good luck to you, and remember its possible; my hubby got with me i was only 18 and he 17; took that responsibility of my pregnancy and son, and 4 years later got married! good luck!!
2007-07-27 04:47:47 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is honey - they're not the right one! The fact that you sound like you are an awesome mom, and willing to accept someone in your life makes you a good person. There will be someone who will absolutely feel completely lucky to have both you and your daughter in his life and take care of you both.
Don't look too hard. It will happen when you least expect it. If you want it too badly you will seem needy. Best of luck to you!
PS..to the rude answers below.....I'll be the VERY FIRST to say BACK OFF GENTLEMEN!!!! We don't know her situation and it is in no right of YOURS to judge her! She asked for help. Obviously in "your generation" your mothers never taught you "If you don't have anything nice to say....don't say it at all". It's called CHARACTER!
2007-07-27 04:09:48 · answer #6 · answered by FF'n Momma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be, most men don't want to go into a relationship where they will have to go straight into having so much responsibility.
But, it's not impossible, there is someone out there that is ment to be with you, someone that will accept your baby as his own, don't give up hope. God has someone special out there for both your lives, someone that will take care of you and your little girl, the way that you both deserve.
Just give it time, don't look for it, it will come to you, I believe all this. You've already been blessed with the wonderful miracle in your life, you will be blesses with the love of a wonderful man.
God bless!
2007-07-27 04:09:09 · answer #7 · answered by Butterflies 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some guys want a girl who will be 100% theirs. Having a baby means you can't be theirs completely. You have to have patience and a guy who will care about you and yur daughter will come along. Until then, she is your world, try not to bum yourself out too much. She knows when you're down. Keep a happy face for her and the right guy will come along.
2007-07-27 04:10:13 · answer #8 · answered by .. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm with Sgt Pepper--we must be of the same generation--where I wonder why someone who just chose to have a baby for no better reason than having one is now looking for a man to commit to. Did you have a child or a trophy? (Look, isn't it pretty?) and why would you expect a man to raise some other guy's kid? Any man with half a brain would think if she slept with some other dude just so she could have a baby would do the same with me, and run for the hills. (Unless he's one of those jerks who don't care that 15 women have their kids.)
I imagine you will find a good man someday who would love you and your daughter but it's going to be a long time coming.
2007-07-27 05:26:14 · answer #9 · answered by Jess 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Kudos for you being mother 1st. If the "guys" are turned off from the kid..then they were only after 1 thing....you will find the "man" who will step foreward....but don't blame the kid until then. Also..until you get to know the guy leave the kid with a sitter for your dates..and don't go makin other babies or trying.
2007-07-27 04:11:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The right guy will come along. Not all guys think it matters whether you have children or not. Some of them have children too. If we lived close, I would ask you out. Good luck
2007-07-27 04:10:55 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋