Jokes & Riddles - February 2007

2007-02-24 00:02:21 · 29 answers · asked by ? 6

It was a mother and daugther walking down the street to school and on the way to school the daughter saw to birds having s*x .The daughter ask her mother what are they doing.The mother awsers "they are baking a cake" While they were walking the little girl saw two dogs having s*x and the daughter told her mother " I know what they doing, there baking a cake." The little girl and her mother went home that even from school and where getting ready for school in the morning.Her mother and father put the little girl to sleep in her room.The little girl went to sleep but, while she was going to sleep she kept hearing a rocking nose in her mother and father room.As the night past and morning came the little girl and her family had breakfast at there kicthen table and told her mother what she hard last night in the badroom.The little girl said you and daddy were baking a cake and this morning and when i want in you room to see were the cake was, i only saw icing on the cover and i lick it.

2007-02-23 23:53:05 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-23 23:47:26 · 3 answers · asked by rebel_lover_10 2

Hillary Clinton goes to an elementary school in
New York to talk about the world.
After her talk she offers a question time.

One little boy puts up his hand.
The Senator asks him what his name is.

"Kenneth."

"And what is your question, Kenneth?"

"I have three questions:
First - whatever happened to the medical health care plan you were paid
to develop during your husband's eight years in the office as President?

Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?

Third - whatever happened to all those things you took
when you left the White House?"

Just then the bell rings for recess.
Hillary Clinton informs the kids that they will continue after recess.

2007-02-23 23:32:19 · 7 answers · asked by namsaev 6

THE FLOWER by Henry Gibson.

THE FLOWER
SEE HOW IT DROOPS ITS LITTLE HEAD
THE FUC*ING THING IS DEAD.

2007-02-23 23:16:48 · 13 answers · asked by Smurf 7

2007-02-23 23:07:43 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed
nicely made up and everything neat and tidy.
Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was
addressed, "Dad".
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter
with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope
with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and
Mom.
I' ve been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you
would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, her tight
motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it's
not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant.

Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the
woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter.
We share a dream of having many more children. Joan has opened my eyes to
the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.
We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune
for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that
science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure
deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of
myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know
your grandchildren.

Your son,
Ryan

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report
card that's in my desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to
come home.

2007-02-23 23:07:35 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous

What does a teapot have that everything has?


ALSO

A texan walks into a bar with a big ten gallon hat on proclaiming to the whole bar that Texas has the biggest everything. He goes on like this for at least 4 hours, and by this time, he's quite drunk. So he asks the bartender where the bathroom is. The bartender reluctly tells him, he points to the hall at the back of the bar, and tells him that it's the last door on the left. Don't go to the one on the right, the last door on the left. And so the texan stumbles down the hall as the bartends gets another order. About 45 mins pass and the Texan still hadn't returned, so the bartender mumbles to himself that he should have never mention the door on the right. As he opens the door, he finds the Texan in the pool yelling "DON'T FLUSH!! DON'T FLUSH!!"

2007-02-23 23:06:30 · 13 answers · asked by tmiller42085 1

2007-02-23 23:03:51 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

*Blinks*... I like funny answers!!!

2007-02-23 22:57:34 · 11 answers · asked by Shadow Song 4

don't leave any old traitors should be taken out. get a rope for each of them. Anybody, your uncle, an aunt, your mama. Just send them packing. all.

2007-02-23 22:50:24 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

why?

2007-02-23 22:48:51 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have to find the lost ring .

2007-02-23 22:29:02 · 16 answers · asked by inverno 1

2007-02-23 22:26:05 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-23 22:06:24 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-23 21:59:13 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

How old am I, what are my interests, where am I from? The person who guess most things will get the 10 points from me!

2007-02-23 21:46:15 · 18 answers · asked by Jerey 2

Which is the funnest of the two, you know they are in that reality show little Britian......................................................................... Because my questions have been rather lame of late some have even been taken off for being pathetic(have to agree)and un pc.So as I can no longer practice free speech.I thought I would ask an almost up to date question for the kids to answer. Taken from the best selling book Cad man of the people By E Cad

2007-02-23 21:17:52 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

THREE COWBOYS ARE SITTING AROUND THE CAMPFIRE OUT ON THE LONESOME
PRAIRIE; EACH WITH THE BRAVADO FOR WHICH HE IS FAMOUS.

THE GUY FROM MONTANA SAYS, "I MUST BE THE STRONGEST, MEANEST, TOUGHEST COWBOY THERE IS. WHY, JUST THE OTHER DAY, A BULL GOT LOOSE IN THE CORRAL.. IT HAD GORED SIX MEN BEFORE I WRESTLED IT TO THE GROUND BY THE HORNS WITH MY BARE HANDS AND CASTRATED THAT SUCKER WITH MY TEETH."

THE GUY FROM TEXAS COULDN'T STAND TO BE BESTED. THAT'S NOTHING, "I WAS WALKING DOWN THE TRAIL YESTERDAY AND A FIFTEEN FOOT DIAMONDBACK RATTLER SLID OUT FROM UNDER A ROCK AND MADE A MOVE FOR ME. I GRABBED THAT SLITHERING SERPENT WITH MY BARE HANDS, BIT IT'S HEAD OFF AND SUCKED THE POISON DOWN IN ONE GULP AND I'M STILL HERE TODAY."

THE COWBOY FROM HENRYETTA, OKLA' HOMA REMAINED SILENT, SLOWLY STIRRING THE CAMPFIRE COALS WITH HIS PECKER.

2007-02-23 21:13:13 · 9 answers · asked by Sangy . 4

This is not a trick question. It is as it reads.


A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a man who she
did not know. She thought he was 'amazing'. She believed him to be her
dream partner so much, that she fell in love with him right there, but
never asked for his number and could not find him.

A few days later she killed her sister.

Question: What was her motive for killing her sister?
Give answer

2007-02-23 21:08:08 · 17 answers · asked by san 1

2007-02-23 21:01:39 · 4 answers · asked by vacator 1

While going through the boat's provisions one of them finds an old lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie suddenly appears. This genie tells them that he only grants one wish.

Without giving much thought to the matter, the lamp finder blurts out, "Turn the entire ocean into Beer!"

The genie claps his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turns into beer.

The genie disappears and only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull breaks the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances.

The second man turns to the first and says, "Nice going mate! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat."

2007-02-23 20:57:07 · 13 answers · asked by conan 4

The worst part about this...the cashier said, "Sorry sir but we are out of Diet Pepsi."

2007-02-23 20:54:07 · 15 answers · asked by Wascally Wadical 2

my wife and i were on their way home from the bar one night and i got pulled over by the police. The officer told me that i was stopped because his tail light was burned out. i said, "I'm very sorry officer, I didn't realize it was out, I'll get it fixed right away."

Just then my wife said, "I knew this would happen when I told you two days ago to get that light fixed."

So the officer asked for my license and after looking at it said, "Sir your license has expired."

And again i apologized and said that i didn't realize that it had expired and would take care of it first thing in the morning.

my wife said, "I told you a week ago that the state sent you a letter telling you that your license had expired."

Well by this time, i was a bit upset with my wife contradicting me in front of the officer, and i said in a rather loud voice, Rose shut your mouth!" The officer then leaned over toward her and asked. "Does your husband always talk to you like that?"..she replied "...only when he's drunk"

2007-02-23 20:48:30 · 16 answers · asked by conan 4

i saw somewhere else i also want to insert my own pic instead of avatar...

2007-02-23 20:43:02 · 23 answers · asked by nikki loves hrithik.. 1

if answer it right i will give u another question!

2007-02-23 20:40:43 · 11 answers · asked by Adi M 1

http://www.geocities.com/foniboki/love2.jpg
hint a famous actress

10 POINTS FOR THE FIRST CORRECT ANSWER

2007-02-23 20:33:27 · 10 answers · asked by Dreams 1

You have a coin that is unfair. The probability of flipping one head is constant, greater than the probability of flipping a tail, but otherwise unknown. You and your friend would like to play a game, using the coin given. You win under certain circumstances; and your friend wins under circumstances. Give the circumstances under which you and your friend wins such that the probability of you winning is equal to the chance of your friend winning.

Note: The circumstances must not be the same, and you can have multiple events.

2007-02-23 20:26:54 · 2 answers · asked by wdfghj 1

2007-02-23 20:23:08 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Taht if the fsirt and lsat lteter of a wrod are crrocet you can raed it whituot dffiulcty. Eevn if all the oehtr ltetres are mssed up.

2007-02-23 20:21:19 · 7 answers · asked by nickname 2