Jokes & Riddles - February 2007

2007-02-25 16:47:10 · 21 answers · asked by enchanted_angel22892 1

After a long study the have found that (Doggie Stile) is the most favored position for married couples is
Men on their knees begging
Women rolling over and playing dead !!!!!!!

2007-02-25 16:40:49 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

that the can opener was invented almost ten years after the first tin can? People used a hammer and chisel to open them before the can opener.

2007-02-25 16:34:55 · 8 answers · asked by random 2

T.J can brush his teeth 20 seconds faster than his girlfriend. If they work together they can brush his teeth in 30 seconds. How long does it take T.J by himself? (wierd, i know)

2007-02-25 15:44:54 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Whenever I say I'm going to the restroom, my co-worker says, "Leave a quarter on the counter!" He gets a kick out of it every time and so do others but I don't get it. Why is this funny?

2007-02-25 15:41:11 · 8 answers · asked by Norbel 1

how would you spend the money?

2007-02-25 15:29:40 · 15 answers · asked by blueberry 3

In a bible studies examination, the students were asked to list ten miracles performed by Jesus while on earth. But a clever and lazy boy in the class who cannot answer the question rightly thought of dubious solution. He wrote on is answers sheet "Who are mine to list all this, i am not worthy"
When the teacher saw this, he thought on his mind and concluded, then he wrote on the student paper "Who are mine not to score you zero,i am not worth".

2007-02-25 15:10:56 · 15 answers · asked by alao a 1

2007-02-25 14:51:47 · 27 answers · asked by Bunts 6

ok old one but it is still funny.

2007-02-25 14:51:12 · 21 answers · asked by jeeccentricx2 5

Its easier to sleep with a light on.

2007-02-25 14:43:42 · 9 answers · asked by mish 2

Once there was an elephant and a mouse playing around and the elephant stepped on a piece of glass and she cried outloud. She said to the mouse, i will give you anything to get the glass out of my foot. the mouse replied, anything? anything said the elephant. So the mouse said I never did an elephant before, could i do that? Yes said the elephant
Meanwhile a monkey was whacking off in the tree's and seen what was going on and almost fell out of the tree, the monkey dropped his coconut right on the head of the elephant and the elephant yelled OOUUCCHH!!!. The mouse turned to the side and said o i'm sorry am i hurting you?

2007-02-25 14:43:06 · 11 answers · asked by BigBlackDog 2

I'm sometimes white but always wrong.
I can break a heart and hurt the strong.
I can build love and tear it down.
I can make a smile but more often a frown.

2007-02-25 14:40:40 · 30 answers · asked by pollywollydoda 3

What has rivers but no water, cities but no buildings, forests but no trees, deserts but no sand, and mountains but no rocks?

2007-02-25 14:36:52 · 12 answers · asked by pollywollydoda 3

2007-02-25 14:30:12 · 11 answers · asked by Bunts 6

A man that has dropped his glasses
Cannot see the objects he has knocked over
Until he trips over them
And finds his glasses among the rubble

I wrote it myself--

2007-02-25 14:27:42 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

when the sleep time comes and off goes the light,
They will bring you the sleepless night.

2007-02-25 14:24:20 · 15 answers · asked by forsakensfire 1

2007-02-25 14:22:28 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

You make new friends every day.

2007-02-25 14:18:36 · 20 answers · asked by Commander 3

An elderly couple was attending church services,about hallway through she leans over and says,"I just had a silent fart what do you think I should do?"

He replies "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."

2007-02-25 14:06:53 · 2 answers · asked by Sangy . 4

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but teh wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if y ou can raed tihs forwrad it.

2007-02-25 13:54:59 · 30 answers · asked by janet 3

A man with a wallet
Must have coins
A man with coins must have something to buy
A man who has bought everything but has no one to share it with
Should not even have a wallet

2007-02-25 13:49:46 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

Was it Buhdda

2007-02-25 13:46:34 · 10 answers · asked by Lynx A 1

there wuz a blond a brunette and a redhead.they were riding in a car in the middle of a forest.the redheads bro wuz drivin.suddenly the car ran out of gas.the bro said each takesumthin just in case we need it cuz we have 2 walk a long way 2 town.the brunette said"ill take sometrailmix just in case we get hungy.the redhead said ill take the radio so we can listen to music if we get bored."wut r u gonna bring"the bro asked the blond"im bringing the car door"she said"WHY???!!!!"said the bro."so i can roll down the window if we get to hot"

2007-02-25 13:36:31 · 23 answers · asked by Clarissa H 1

It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Lets begin by reviewing some American history. "Who said Give me Liberty, or give me Death?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."

"Very good!" said the teacher. "Now, who said, Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?"

Again, no response except from Pedro: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed! Pedro, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do!"

She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans!"

"Who said that?" she demanded.

Pedro put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836."

At that point, a student in the back said, "Im gonna puke." The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Now, who said that?"

Again, Pedro answered, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher, "Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now, with almost a mob hysteria, the teacher said, "If you say anything else, Ill kill you!"

Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."

The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, "Oh ****, were in BIG trouble now!"

Pedro whispered, "Saddam Hussein, 2003."

Finally, someone threw an eraser at Pedro and another student shouted, "Duck"!

The teacher, just waking up and still a bit out of it, asked "Who said that?

Pedro: "Dick Cheney 2006!"

2007-02-25 13:34:11 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

The Answer is bean in the elevator!!!

A new question!

There is a elevator in a mall that can hold a person up to 50 kg!

so as the mall open at 10 in the morning a group of people which

the total of their weight combined is exactly 50 kg, enter the

elevator!

but as the all went in the elevator, the elevator alarm went off! it

said OVERLOAD? what happen??

2007-02-25 13:33:38 · 8 answers · asked by Adi M 1

Man goes to heaven and is met by Jesus, he notices the marks in Jesus's hands from where he was on the cross, the man Says I was a carpenter, did you have nails in your hands and feet, Dad replied Jesus, Pinnochio says the man

2007-02-25 13:32:19 · 14 answers · asked by friendofb 5

They keep getting caught but nobody puts them in jail!

2007-02-25 13:31:54 · 4 answers · asked by jeanie_in_a_beer_bottle 1

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.

In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.

Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.

The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.

The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live."

He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my rucksack."

2007-02-25 13:23:55 · 15 answers · asked by JOHN W 3

2007-02-25 13:20:22 · 12 answers · asked by scratchpole 2

1.)
If there is too little of this, you crawl.
If there is too much of this, you fall.
What am I?

2.)
If I eat I continue to live
If I drink I begin to die
If you are near me you will live
If you are in me you will die
What am I?

3.)
Without me you are lost,
With me you remain,
Too much of me can kill you,
Too little of me can kill you
What am I?

4.)
I am the power brought down from heaven,
I can grant both life and death,
I am not the tears of heaven, nor the breath
I cut through the air like a knife
I always occur when the sky is unusually dark,
I never occur when the sky is normally light
What am I?

2007-02-25 13:13:12 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous