Jokes & Riddles - February 2007

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2007-02-03 14:25:05 · 8 answers · asked by cripm88 3

i'm serious what does it mean

2007-02-03 14:17:07 · 11 answers · asked by kathryn! 2

2007-02-03 14:12:06 · 6 answers · asked by pollywollydoda 3

my mom made up a joke but it needs some work. can you help? it goes- your mom is so crazy her DNA lives in padded cells. pretty hilarious but doesn't feel right.

2007-02-03 14:11:40 · 8 answers · asked by AngerPancake 4

Two cannibals are eating lunch. One says to the other "You know, I really hate my mother-in-law." The other cannibal says, "That's okay just eat your vegetables."

2007-02-03 14:02:50 · 17 answers · asked by I see dumb people 5

A skin have I, more eyes than one. I can be very nice when I am done. What am I?

2007-02-03 14:02:12 · 15 answers · asked by pollywollydoda 3

2007-02-03 13:58:47 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

somethin most people have

2007-02-03 13:54:27 · 27 answers · asked by FireGirl 1

This crime attempted...shame on thee! This crime commited... thou wilt go free! What is it?

2007-02-03 13:53:24 · 14 answers · asked by pollywollydoda 3

Creepy pants all the time get some! Maybe parachute, maybe clown care. Some ants too!
(First person to "get" this question gets best answer)

2007-02-03 13:51:53 · 13 answers · asked by Tikimaskedman 7

a guy pulls up to a hotel sees a sign and instantly realizes hes broke. How is this possible?

2007-02-03 13:50:36 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

John gets a call from Buffy, his blonde girlfriend:

"I've got a problem"
"What's the matter?"
"Well, I bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."

"What's the picture of?"
"It's of a big rooster"
"All right, I'll come over and have a look."

So he goes over to Buffy's house and she greets him by saying, "Thanks for coming over." She leads him to her kitchen and shows him the jigsaw puzzle on the kitchen table.

John looks at the puzzle and then turns to her and says,

"For pete's sake, Buffy, put the corn flakes back in the box."




(Found on the Web)

2007-02-03 13:36:07 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

1. If a blue house is made of blue bricks and a red house is made of red bricks then what is a green house made of?
2. There are three goldfish in a tank two drown. How many are left?
3. There are nine watermelons on the tree. Three fall off. How many are left?

2007-02-03 13:31:26 · 16 answers · asked by Cool dawg 2

This is to go on a 12 year olds birthday card.

2007-02-03 13:22:07 · 22 answers · asked by Cricketin_kiwi 1

A TV chef was doing a late night cookery programme, and was doing a show on Korean food. Half way through the show he make Korean Metballs, and eats one, he looks at the camera and says:
"These Korean Meatballs really are the dogs bollocks!"

2007-02-03 13:17:56 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

Let the winds blow high,
Let the winds blow low,
Down the street in my kilt I go
And all the ladies say hello
Donald where's yer troosers

2007-02-03 13:16:09 · 7 answers · asked by baba o'reilly 2

A man was brought in to the hospital intensive care ward, put in a bed, tubes coming out everywhere. A week later, another man was admitted, in a similar condition.

Both lay there, machines pinging, tubes poking etc. a couple more weeks before one of them had the strength to raise his hand and point to himself and say, "Bengali."

The other patient signaled he had heard, raised his own hand, and said, "Punjabi."

This act tired them out so badly it was a week before the first summoned up the strength to say, "Calcutta."

Other replied in a weedy frail voice, "Ludhiana."

Once more, the strain was too much for them both and they passed out. Days passed before the first patient managed to again point to himself and say, "Asit."

Replied the other, "Santa."

A few hours later, Asit managed to point to himself again and rasp out weakly, "Cancer."

Santa responded, "Sagittarius."

2007-02-03 13:15:26 · 18 answers · asked by stone 4

2007-02-03 13:04:20 · 11 answers · asked by langas1965 1

If you have me you want to share me. If you share me you won't have me. What am I?

2007-02-03 12:48:31 · 15 answers · asked by PEACHES 5

How many FEMAs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2007-02-03 12:44:27 · 32 answers · asked by donfajn 2

i'm bored, and i need something to make me laugh...so who has a good joke??

2007-02-03 12:40:10 · 12 answers · asked by Love Ya Kyla Girl 3

A tap fills a bucket in 20mins. Another tap fills the same bucket in 30mins. So how long will it take if both the taps are running to fill the bucket? The answer is 12mins or something.
How to work this one out?

2007-02-03 12:27:38 · 12 answers · asked by Smart_Dumb 3

the square root of the sum of a 12 foot room, plus a 32"X38" bunk bed, a 2 1/2 inch round donut, a cheeto, fifteen midgets laying in a row that are all exactly 3'2" except the last one who is just pretending to be a midget, he has his arms and legs tucked into his shirt and pants, and ground chuck beef patty that weighs 1900 grams of fat?! .....cough, er what is the square root i think??

2007-02-03 12:24:50 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Congress is the opposite of progress

2007-02-03 12:22:04 · 4 answers · asked by cripm88 3

A blonde is sitting on a plane and shes completly wiped out. Then a man sits next to her and asks her if she wants to play a game. She refuses. The man won't take no as a answer so he offers to pay her $5 for each answer she gets right. Still she refuses. Then the man offers $50 for each answer right but, he only gets $5 if she gets it wrong. So the blonde finally excepts. The first question is 2+2=?. Being so tired the blonde gives him $5. Now its the blondes turn she asks "what goes up a hilll on 3 feet and back down on 6 feet?" Furiously the man hands her $50. When its the mans turn he asks what the answer was, the blonde then gave the man back his $5 and goes to sleep.

What do you think?

2007-02-03 12:13:19 · 18 answers · asked by 86Mets 4

Finish it with your own made up words. I'm bored. Humor me. PLEASE!

2007-02-03 12:08:19 · 9 answers · asked by JACQUELINE T 6

2007-02-03 12:03:06 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-03 12:00:02 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Who's there?
Ha Ha ! I GOt YOU!
Who misses Special Ed from Crank Yankers?

2007-02-03 11:53:50 · 6 answers · asked by ? 5

not 42. that is the answer to life.

2007-02-03 11:40:49 · 9 answers · asked by darth_daniel19910 2