Jokes & Riddles - November 2006

the maker doesnt want me...

the buyer doesnt use me

the user doesnt see me

what am i?....... if you dont know, tell me you love me.... lol
i'll post the answer when i give out the 10 points, so if you dont know, check back tomorrow

2006-11-21 06:39:19 · 25 answers · asked by Bmp1ksh 3

A father and a son were involved in a car accident and the father dies instantly but the son is taken to the hospital for immediate surgery, the surgeon comes in ready to perform surgery and says, "I'm sorry I can't perform this surgery this is my son" How do you explain this?

I'm sorry if you've heard it before

2006-11-21 06:34:49 · 36 answers · asked by graciegirl 5

my chick keeps talking about him, but I've never seen or heard of him

2006-11-21 06:34:11 · 6 answers · asked by ? 4

2006-11-21 06:33:14 · 13 answers · asked by kiedokl 2

i am small yet large, i have feathers but no wings, my left is my right but i have no bottom. if i lived in the sea there would be nothing left of me - what am i?

2006-11-21 06:30:51 · 20 answers · asked by millers 1

So theres a cat a dog and a onion that go to a strip bar ( plz dont close down its only a joke ok) so finish the rest

2006-11-21 06:27:12 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

SERIOUSLY

2006-11-21 06:25:45 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for
the feast.

Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick.
She told my sister that she needed something from the store.
When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven,
Removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into
The turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey.

She then placed the bird(S) back in the oven.
When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the
Oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon
Hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.

With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed,
"Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this
Horrifying news,my sister started to cry.

It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!
Yep......... ......... SHE'S BLONDE

2006-11-21 06:24:50 · 5 answers · asked by party_pam 5

a man and his son are walking down the beach one day and the son asks the dad about why his body has been changing lately. the dad replys "son, as you grow older your body become more developed and different, this is a normal thing to experience, dont worry about it" the boy, now satisfied with the answer carrys on walking thinking about what flavour ice cream he is going to get. the real question is how long did it take for the dad and his son to walk up the hill?

2006-11-21 06:22:44 · 35 answers · asked by millers 1

yesterday and there was a big sign saying " Beware of the Dog "and when i went in there was this big old english sheep dog sprawled out fast asleep on the floor , i said to the bloke , is that the dog i'm supposed to beware of , he said yes , i said , well whats the sign for , the bloke said , well nobody's tripped over him since i put it there !!

2006-11-21 06:17:57 · 26 answers · asked by nicemanvery 7

{1} I'm usually featured in "bridle" shows.





{2} I'm still measured by hand





{3} I may be of a different color, but once broken I'm no longer green




{4} I'm covered mane-ly with hair




{5} My rein in not always royal.





{6} My shoes are considered lucky.

What Am I ??????

2006-11-21 06:16:46 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

Simple but I cant figure it out question my brother asked me. He told me its a four letter word.

2006-11-21 06:08:32 · 5 answers · asked by mr 1

2006-11-21 06:03:54 · 13 answers · asked by blah 1

What is the funniest chat up line a guy has ever used on you as his opening line? Guys you can give me what you thought was your best opening line

2006-11-21 05:59:57 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

When you knew
which clue

[1] Although I am uniform, I am unique.





[2] I run only up and down, never side to side



[3] I'm in black and white; no gray area here.



[4] My numbers are written for enlightened eyes only



[5] If scanned carefully, my real meaning becomes clear


[6] I am barred in most grocery stores.


What Am I ????

2006-11-21 05:53:56 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

What is:
Greater than Great
More Evil than Evil
Darker than Dark
Brighter than Bright
Smarter than Smart
and More Stupid than Stupid?

2006-11-21 05:47:51 · 5 answers · asked by kevins1grli 1

I love blonde joke, but i don't seem to remember any. Does anybody have a good blonde joke?

2006-11-21 05:46:29 · 6 answers · asked by 1 3

I enjoy jokes and riddles.

2006-11-21 05:33:35 · 2 answers · asked by rams 4

Becky and Sally Ann were doing some carpenter work on a house.

Becky who was nailing down siding would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.

Sally Ann, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?"

Becky explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away."

Sally Ann got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!."

2006-11-21 05:23:03 · 7 answers · asked by akelaamy 5

If you want my ___ and ya think im ___ come on baby lemme know.

2006-11-21 05:16:55 · 14 answers · asked by Baby Jack born 4/5/09 4

2006-11-21 05:05:40 · 10 answers · asked by Everyman 3

One said to the other "Can you smell fish?"

2006-11-21 05:01:10 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-11-21 04:56:10 · 8 answers · asked by Mr Cynical 5

walking down the road and havn't eaten for three days. One says watch this I'll show you how to get a meal, he picks up a piece of horse s**t and takes it to a big posh house. He knocks on the door and a smart looking woman says what do you want. He says I havn't eaten for 3 days can i have some salt to put on this. He shows her the piece of s**t and she says oh my word you cant eat that and takes him inside for a feast. He tells his mate after, at the next house you do the same. The second one does the same thing and when the door is opened he says the same thing. The house owner says you can't eat that go round to the stable and get a warm piece !!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-11-21 04:47:00 · 17 answers · asked by Shredder 6

The Bear and the Rabbit
........................................
A bear was chasing a rabbit around the woods, when the rabbit came across a magic frog. He said that if they stopped fighting he'd grant them 3 wishes each "Bear, you go first" the frog said. So the bear wished that all the bears in the wood except him were female. The rabbit then asked for a motorbike." poof, two wishes left." " duh, " thought the bear, "rabbit could have just asked for money and then he could have bought his own motorbike" So bear then wished that all the bears except him in the next wood were female too. The rabbit then asked for a motorcycle helmet, put it on and kickstarted the engine. The bear was shocked at how thick the rabbit was being, he could have asked for more money and bought his own
" Rabbit, your last wish" the frog said. The rabbit said: "I wish the bear was gay", and drove off into the distance.

2006-11-21 04:43:26 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-11-21 04:37:52 · 4 answers · asked by isthisinuisetoo 2

2006-11-21 04:36:56 · 13 answers · asked by isthisinuisetoo 2

First Question:

You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?


Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

Try not to mess up in the next question. To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took on the first question.

Second Question:

If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?!

You're not very good at this are you?


Third Question:

Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it:

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30..add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10.

What is the total? Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100.
Don't believe it? Check your calculator!


Today is definitely not your day.

Maybe you will get the last question right?

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2 Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono.

What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Answer: Nunu? NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary.

Read the Question again.

2006-11-21 04:35:41 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-11-21 04:34:38 · 13 answers · asked by Mr Cynical 5

its a song we used to sing alot when we were young about funny farm

2006-11-21 04:33:49 · 10 answers · asked by reg w 1