Jokes & Riddles - November 2006

2006-11-21 08:05:33 · 27 answers · asked by mickladd 2

let me see you bounce right to left and let your shoulder lean, shoulder lean, shoulder lean

2006-11-21 08:01:44 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

There is 10 fishes 3 of them drown how many fishes r left??

2006-11-21 08:00:11 · 7 answers · asked by christina 1

A Honddddddadddaadaada 50

2006-11-21 07:57:45 · 15 answers · asked by mickladd 2

Bill Clinton, Al Gore and George W. Bush died and found themselves standing on the other side of the Jordan River, looking across at the promised land.

The Archangel Michael was standing on the other side and shouted over to the three surprised Americans, "Contrary to what you have been taught, each of you will have to wade across the Jordan River."

As Michael saw their perplexed looks, he reassured them by saying,"Don't worry. You will sink only proportionally according to your sins on earth. The more you have sinned the more you will sink into the water."

The three American sages of political lore looked at one another, trying to determine who shall be the first brave soul to cross the Jordan River.

Finally George W. Bush volunteered to go first. Slowly he began to wade out into the river, and slowly the water began to get higher and higher, reaching to his waist. George began to sweat, thinking that all of his sins were coming back to haunt him.

2006-11-21 07:56:22 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

a pastor visited 5 peoples homes. when he knocked on the door of the last home nobody answered. he stood there for a couple minutes and wrote a note on the door and left. the next sunday the pastor got a note on his office door. the note he gave the person was Revelation 13:25 "i was knocking at your door"
the note the pastor recieved said read Genesis 3:10
the pastor looked it up and it said "i heard your voice in the garden, and i ran, for i was naked."



If yuo can raed tihs gvie me a bgi HOROAH! if yuo cnanot raed tihs, aks smoebdoy woh cna.

2006-11-21 07:56:00 · 5 answers · asked by the soccer guy 3

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but she listens in horror as one of the men says the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, dey come together. I come again. Two asses, dey come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a more."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly, "in this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man, "Imma just tellun my friend howa to spella Mississippi."

2006-11-21 07:55:51 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Mr.Cadbury met Ms Rowntree in a room on Quality Street.
It was After Eight.He turned out the light for a bit of Black Magic! he slipped his hand in her Snickers,and showed her his Curlywurly.Not keen to have any Jelly Babies she let him take a trip up Bourneville Boulavard.
She screamed with Turkish Delight as he took out his Fun sized Mars Bar.It felt a bit Crunchie and she wanted some Time Out,but he did a Twirl and had a Picnic in her Pink Wafers!!!!

2006-11-21 07:54:54 · 13 answers · asked by nicky dakiamadnat600bugmunchsqig 3

i am 7 letter words

i am b4 God

more evil than satan

poor have me

rich need me

and if you eat me you'll die

wat am i??????????????

2006-11-21 07:52:54 · 24 answers · asked by Christine JD 1

For building the road too near her A.R.S.E.

2006-11-21 07:52:03 · 10 answers · asked by mickladd 2

I transport people to faraway places. (unlike a book)

I'm dark but not necessarily nocturnal.

I bring famous people close.

In part, Oscar owes his life to me.

The Jazz Singer gave me my voice.

My wares are rated from G to X.

/doc

2006-11-21 07:48:03 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

there was a murderer who had a pistol that could only hold five shots. the murderer had five hostages and decided to shoot them all. BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!he shot all five but only one died. and he let the other four go. how come only one guy died?
type in 'this guy is crazy' if you dont get it.

2006-11-21 07:47:37 · 20 answers · asked by the soccer guy 3

Helmut Shoen !!

2006-11-21 07:44:10 · 28 answers · asked by MICHAEL M 1

A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."


Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

2006-11-21 07:39:29 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

why did the chicken cross the playground????
to get to the other it starts with a "s"
hint not to the other side it is something else

2006-11-21 07:38:30 · 10 answers · asked by dez wez 1

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish"

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

2006-11-21 07:36:48 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

Millions of kids wanted a car like mine.


I sprang from the imagination of Bob Kane.


Only dick Grayson and Alfred knew my real name.

My motto on my crest is "Evil Be Who Evil Does."

Even Jack Nicholson joked with me.

My epithet is the "Caped Crusader."

Now y'all know these are not my original stuff.

Who/What Am I ??? which clue you knew

2006-11-21 07:31:38 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

what is building has more than 1,000,000,000 stories in it???


hint::::it starts with an "L"

2006-11-21 07:30:26 · 12 answers · asked by dez wez 1

if the criminal is the father of the judge's son..... what is the relationship between the criminal & the judge???

2006-11-21 07:29:32 · 16 answers · asked by knight_blu 1

3 engineers and 3 accountants travel by train to a conference. The accountants buy 3 tickets and watch as the engineers buy only 1 . "How are 3 people going to travel on 1 ticket?" they ask the engineers "Watch and you'll see" . The accountants take their seats but all 3 engineers cram into the WC and close the door. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor starts collecting tickets. He knocks on the WC door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and leaves. The accountants see this clever idea. So they buy a single ticket for their return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" they ask. "Watch and you'll see" they replied. The 3 accountants cram into the WC and the 3 engineers get in another. The train departs and one of the engineers knocks on the accountant's WC door and says "Ticket please!"

2006-11-21 07:24:35 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

this answer is a matter of dignity... if i dont get it before my brother.... he will never let me live it down.... help!

2006-11-21 07:21:22 · 8 answers · asked by Shelby V 2

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five-iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asked him, "What happened to you?" "Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture. We went to look for them and while I was looking around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it, stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!' I don't remember much after that."

2006-11-21 07:20:24 · 18 answers · asked by Georgie's Girl 5

The music stopped. The woman dies. Why?

2006-11-21 07:19:31 · 10 answers · asked by kiedokl 2

And he said, Audi.

2006-11-21 07:16:05 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Bobbie had a new discovery. He invited all of his friends to come and see it. they saw it and said it had no beggining, middle, or end.

what is it?

2006-11-21 07:09:01 · 24 answers · asked by the soccer guy 3

Once there were 2 friends... See and Saw,
One day see saw sea and saw didnt see sea. see saw sea and jumped in sea. saw didnt see sea but jumped in sea. see saw saw in sea and saw saw see in sea. see saw both saw sea and both saw and see were happy to see sea.

2006-11-21 07:07:51 · 23 answers · asked by usm 1

There was a young virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it.

Her grandmother says, "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. He is going to try to kiss you; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that."

She continued, "He is going to try to feel your breast; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that. He is going to try to put his hand between your legs; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that.

Then the grandmother said, "But, most importantly, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don't let him do that. It will disgrace the family."

With that bit of advice in mind, the granddaughter went on her date and could not wait to tell her grandmother about it. The next day she told her grandmother that her date went just as the old lady said.

She said, "Grandmother, I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I turned him over, got on top of him and disgraced his family."

2006-11-21 06:59:13 · 14 answers · asked by Cowboy 4

2006-11-21 06:58:56 · 17 answers · asked by kiedokl 2

2006-11-21 06:46:53 · 8 answers · asked by rose_americaine 2

So there is this site with riddles and to get to the next level I need to solve a riddle;
there is a picture of a phone and beside it there are these numbers
;7/4,8/2,7/1,3/2,7/3,7/4,6/3,6/2,4/3,2/3
Could anyone help me with this please?

2006-11-21 06:46:43 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous