Jokes & Riddles - November 2006

what did micheal jackson ask barbie?
'who,s ur plastic surgeon'?

yeah....crap joke i know...

2006-11-25 03:05:54 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous

Who the person that know all and see all but we do not see?
who the person that is not a person but the person is really a superful living thing?
who the person that do not interferes with us, nethier we do good nor evil?
who the person that neither is born nor this person can't dies?
who is that person that we know for scenes the beginning of time from this certain place but nor (don't) we know what this person do to us,for us,or to our surroundings nexts?
form where this person is where some people go when they became ashes to ashes and dust to dust?
who is this person and why is this person is not a person?


THIS IS A HARD ONE BUT READ VERY CAREFULLY AND IF YOU SEE ANY MISSPELLING,PLEASE INGORNE IT.

2006-11-25 03:05:15 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

ok so....
the 7 dwarfs were tired of getting no action so one day they decided they were gonna spy on snow white so they build a pyramid at her bedroom window and the 1 at the top relays down to the others wat shes doing so she takes off her shirt nd the one at the tops goes "shes taking off her shirt" nd they spread it all the way to the bottom then he goes "shes taking off her pants" nd spreads it all the way to the bottom then he says "shes taking off her bra" nd spreads it all the way to the bottom but snow white hears some noises and decides to go out and see wat it is and the one at the top goes "shes coming shes coming" and the one at the bottom says "so am i so am i"

2006-11-25 03:03:06 · 9 answers · asked by blondie 2

oye !!

heheh :)?

2006-11-25 02:53:49 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous

Bert met Flo in a bar one night and began buying her drinks. They hit it off pretty well and soon Bert suggested they go to his apartment for some extracurricular activity.

Well it wasn't long before they found themselves in bed making passionate love. As they were making love though, Bert noticed that Flo's toes would curl up as he was thrusting in and out.

When they were done, Bert laid back on the bed and said, "I must of been pretty good tonight. I noticed your toes curling up when I was going in and out."

Flo looked at him and smiled. "That usually happens when you forget to remove my pantyhose!"

2006-11-25 02:42:51 · 9 answers · asked by Rock 2

A cheeseburger walks into a bar, and says "Hey bartender give me a beer".

The bartender says - "I'm sorry we don't serve food here".

2006-11-25 02:39:16 · 20 answers · asked by Rock 2

A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No", he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.
"Oh really? What's it telling you now?" she inquires.
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties..."

The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!"

And the man starts tapping on the watch face and says,
"Damn thing must be an hour fast!"

2006-11-25 02:35:28 · 12 answers · asked by Rock 2

Music or royal person? which prefer?

2006-11-25 02:14:34 · 16 answers · asked by mysquello 2

What is the reason for your answer?

2006-11-25 01:50:41 · 20 answers · asked by beer30_somewhere 2

2006-11-25 01:46:21 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

How many licks it takes to reach the center of a Tootsie Pop ?

2006-11-25 01:44:56 · 9 answers · asked by Skeeter 5

My b/f's brother usually holds poker nights games and sometimes it is a bit boring. I would like to juice it up a bit. Anyone knows of clean jokes? nothing nasty, please!

2006-11-25 01:38:01 · 3 answers · asked by Treasure 2

This is really very very cute.....do read this ...
Grandpa and Grandma always got very excited when they recalled the old
days they were together. They made a decision, one day to make it
"yesterday once more". They made a date on the riverbank they used to go
when they were young. The next day, Grandpa got up 6 a.m. in the morning,
dashed to the bank, picked up a big bunch of wild flowers before
sunrise, waited there for his sweetheart to come. But grandpa ended in
disappointment grandma never showed up even after sunset.

Grandpa went home in such anger. He opened the door, seeing grandma
lying on the sofa with her pillow. He threw the flowers on the floor and
questioned: "Why didn't you come to our date?"

Grandma hid her head in the pillow and replied shyly: "Mom didn't
allow me to go..." : ) ......

2006-11-25 00:57:45 · 17 answers · asked by geniuswithU 2

This site will give you all the answers. It contains footage of Daleks talking about Red Dwarf! Can I have some feedback on this site please? Thanks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1oAbvsSGTc

2006-11-25 00:47:27 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

the male whale ejaculates 90 gallons of sea men but only 10% enters the female and you wonder why the sea tasts soo salty

2006-11-25 00:43:18 · 13 answers · asked by Kemodo 344™ 3

2006-11-25 00:37:52 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

Paddy bets his mate that if he drops his watch from the top of the eiffel tower that he can be on ground level and catch the watch before it breaks, His mate accepts the bet and paddy drops his watch over the edge of the tower and quickly makes his descent. When he gets to ground level he is devastated to see his watch laying smashed on the pavement. His mate rundown and asked what happened. "Huh," says paddy, "Obviously my watch is fast!"

2006-11-25 00:35:10 · 20 answers · asked by Kizzy_ 5

across the English Channel, the English cat is called OneTwoThree, the French UnDeuxTrois. They started at Dover who won?

2006-11-24 23:50:55 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

there is this boy I see him daily in my skool bus
I want a good prank to play on him
plz help!!!!

2006-11-24 23:27:56 · 6 answers · asked by st me 1

1. What is the similarity btw a woman and a bank ?

2. Why has it been voted that women will be future football goalkeepers ?

3. 3 thiefs stole some diamonds from a jeweller. Hiding away they took shelter in a cave. They agreed to sleep and count their loot the next morning. While asleep, theif A got up and opened the bundle of diamonds. He counted it and saw that if he divided them into 3 portions there was one extra. So he threw the one and took his one third share. After a while thief 2 got up and divided the diamonds into 3 portions. He saw that one was extra and he threw it away and took his one third share. After a while thief 3 got up and divided the loot into 3 portions. He saw one was extra and threw it away. And he took his one third share.
Now the question is, how many diamonds were originally looted. There is only one right answer to this question.

4. What is the difference btw a woman and a ship.
5. What is the difference btw wine bottle and woman ?

2006-11-24 23:23:06 · 5 answers · asked by catcher 3

1. What is the similarity between a man and a bank ?

2. Why has it been voted that women will be future football goalkeepers ?

3. 3 thiefs stole some diamonds from a jeweller. Hiding away they took shelter in a cave. They agreed to sleep and count their loot the next morning. While asleep, theif A got up and opened the bundle of diamonds. He counted it and saw that if he divided them into 3 portions there was one extra. So he threw the one and took his one third share. After a while thief 2 got up and divided the diamonds into 3 portions. He saw that one was extra and he threw it away and took his one third share. After a while thief 3 got up and divided the loot into 3 portions. He saw one was extra and threw it away. And he took his one third share.
Now the question is, how many diamonds were originally looted. There is only one right answer to this question.

4. What is the difference btw a woman and a ship.
5. What is the difference btw wine bottle and man's libido ?

2006-11-24 23:19:06 · 3 answers · asked by catcher 3

2006-11-24 23:10:32 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Juicey

2006-11-24 23:05:12 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

library and says " can I have fish and chips please". The woman says, dont you know this is a library. He says again in a quiet vioce sorry can i have fish and chips please !!!!!!

2006-11-24 23:00:10 · 15 answers · asked by pokerfacelad 4

HELP!!!

2006-11-24 22:52:26 · 17 answers · asked by sophie 3

Type in coal and see the variations i know on nokia it's the the first two alternatives.

2006-11-24 22:36:11 · 12 answers · asked by Sarah S 3

2006-11-24 22:32:26 · 11 answers · asked by ita 1

Q: Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?
A: Because she kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"

Q: What 15 animals can you fit in a pair of pantyhose?
A: 10 little Piggies, 2 Calves, 1 ***, and a Beaver (and a fish that nobody can find).

Q: Whats worse than lobsters on your piano?
A: Crabs on your organ.

What do you call an intelligent person in America?
A tourist.

Very large lady in a dress shop:"I would like to see a dress that fits me."
Assistant:"So would I".

..Bruce went to the doctor for a check up.
"It is obvious to me that alcohol is entirely responsible for your poor physical shape".said the Doctor
"Well I am glad to hear that" said Bruce "because the wife keeps on insisting it is my fault".

A husband and wife drove for miles in silence after a terrible argument in which neither would budge.
The husband pointed to a mule in a paddock.
"Relatives of yours ?" he asked.
"Yes," she replied."By marriage."

2006-11-24 22:22:55 · 13 answers · asked by chris b 4

if so what is his house number

2006-11-24 22:11:58 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-11-24 22:03:48 · 13 answers · asked by Sarah S 3