Paddy bets his mate that if he drops his watch from the top of the eiffel tower that he can be on ground level and catch the watch before it breaks, His mate accepts the bet and paddy drops his watch over the edge of the tower and quickly makes his descent. When he gets to ground level he is devastated to see his watch laying smashed on the pavement. His mate rundown and asked what happened. "Huh," says paddy, "Obviously my watch is fast!"
2006-11-25 00:35:10 · 20 answers · asked by Kizzy_ 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Boring joke I know but I'm sick of gettin violated for rude ones!
2006-11-25 00:35:58 · update #1
well I liked your joke...mrs whitehouse has been paying me a visit too.....lolol...but I dont care, Ive seen worse than mine on here, I love those irish ones !! tell me more !
2006-11-25 01:30:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Paddy the Kerryman died in a fire and was burnt pretty bad and the morgue needed someone to identify the body. So his two best friends, Seamus and Seanin (Also Kerrymen), were sent for. Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Seamus said "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over." So the mortician rolled him over and Seamus looked and said "Nope, it ain't Paddy."
The mortician thought that was rather strange and then he brought Seanin in to identify the body. Seanin took a look at him and said, "Yup he's burnt real bad, roll him over". The mortician rolled him over and Seanin looked down and said, "No, it ain't Paddy".
The mortician asked, "How can you tell?" Seanin said, "Well, Paddy had two assholes." "What, he had two assholes?" said the mortician. "Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went into town, folks would say, "Here comes Paddy with them two assholes...."
Lost at Sea, two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously.
To his amazement, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish,not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into Guinness Beer! The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals.
Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick and after a long, tension filled moment, he spoke. "Nice going Patrick! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat."
Paddy the Englishman, Paddy the Irishman, Paddy the Scotsman, and Paddy the Welshman were all flying together in an airliner. The captain announced that they were losing altitude rapidly and that one of them would have to jump out to save the others.
"I do this for the glory of Scotland," said Paddy the Scotsman and he jumped out.
"We need to lose more weight," said the captain, so Paddy the Welshman shouted, "I do this for the glory of Wales," and jumped out.
"Sorry," said the captain. "I'm afraid we need to lose the weight of just one more person."
"I do this for the glory of Ireland," said Paddy the Irishman and threw out Paddy the Englishman.
2006-11-25 00:44:35 · answer #2 · answered by JohnRingold 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I like that one.You must have been told by Yahoo to watch your steps then,if you will excuse the pun.
Come on tell us some more rude ones and to hell with the reporters.They shouldn't be on this site anyway.
Is there a section for prudes?
2006-11-25 00:43:41 · answer #3 · answered by the gunners 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
tell us a rude one or i will get you voilated for taking the p155 out of the paddys lol
only joking about the voliated bit
2006-11-25 00:41:07 · answer #4 · answered by oh_sh1te 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Did Paddy have a dodgy ticker ?
2006-11-25 01:06:54 · answer #5 · answered by Scotty 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is a racist joke too be sure don't you know
Do you know the gay Irish guys, Michael fitzpatric & patrick fitzmichael?
2006-11-25 02:16:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
see dude if u get some rude ans. reply the users wid "thank u for the ans." at some time they will feel bad about giving u rude answers and they will reply u a sorry
2006-11-25 00:44:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
he he he he he he still it was funny ive just been violated o sorry i mean some1 has let 1 rip in my office lmao pewwwwwww weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee that smells as if hes needs a bucket that really stinks pewwwwwwwww........cb
2006-11-25 01:23:42 · answer #8 · answered by chris b 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i think the people who report good jokes should be banned from YA.
2006-11-25 00:41:33 · answer #9 · answered by Mark H 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
see, this what these boring b@satards on here do, take away the fun by reporting!
2006-11-25 00:38:18 · answer #10 · answered by Welshchick 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋