Jokes & Riddles - October 2006

2006-10-28 12:15:39 · 18 answers · asked by cooldudeswithgansters 1

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Boy." I call mine "Sex."
Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me.

When I went to the City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one too." Then I said, "You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He said, "You must have been quite a kid!"

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex. He said, "Every room in the place is for sex." I said, "You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too."

One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me that I should have sold tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on T.V." He called me a show-off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "Me too." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me too."

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I said, "I'm looking for Sex."

My case comes up Friday.

2006-10-28 12:14:39 · 13 answers · asked by Courtney(: 3

Im old and it feels like i have ran forever,
but never moved at all
I got no lungs or throat
but still i have a mighty roaring call, What Am I?

2006-10-28 12:08:28 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have four wings, but cannot fly, I never laugh and i never cry,
On the Same Spot as im always found, toiling away with little sound....What am I

2006-10-28 11:59:57 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

2006-10-28 11:50:14 · 25 answers · asked by jo_z_rox2011 2

what do you have that you want to share but if you share it you wont have it anymore?

2006-10-28 11:23:43 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

dumpty tripped him.

2006-10-28 11:12:32 · 16 answers · asked by brian c 1

Q: What did the hat say to the necklace?

A: You hang around and Ill go on a head!

2006-10-28 11:08:27 · 15 answers · asked by AARONLEE AND SASHA 3

I am stranger travelling from the East who is lost.What would be your reply

2006-10-28 11:02:45 · 31 answers · asked by colin050659 6

It is snap-on Acne for those that want to look younger!

2006-10-28 11:01:14 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

any1 who gets this is a genius.........

most people in mensor don't know the answer!!!

2006-10-28 10:58:04 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Okay, um
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't f*uck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Did you know, they invented the helicopter after they saw Chuck Norris do 8 consecutive roundhouse kicks?

Now you guys think of some....

2006-10-28 10:52:19 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

I guess most of you knows (if not all) that when you press "Enter" in answering a quetion won't be invisible, which means when you just press and hold Enter for a long time, the Enters you pressed will be collected and entered in the answer, so i want to see the most Eneter in your answer.
Come'n guys let me see this page the longest page in the whole websites round the world.
Note*: The longest answer gonna be the best answer.

2006-10-28 10:42:09 · 29 answers · asked by Laith Attar 2

2006-10-28 10:40:10 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

I guess most of you knows (if not all) that when you press "Enter" in answering a quetion won't be invisible, which means when you just press and hold Enter for a long time, the Enters you pressed will be collected and entered in the answer, so i want to see the most Eneter in your answer.
Come'n guys let me see this page the longest page in the whole websites round the world.
Note*: The longest answer gonna be the best answer.

2006-10-28 10:36:43 · 15 answers · asked by Laith Attar 2

(hint: it comes in differrent sizes.)

2006-10-28 10:33:38 · 13 answers · asked by brina489 1

has anyone made someone cry or get really made using a mamma joke

2006-10-28 10:22:38 · 4 answers · asked by Brandon GA Jorif 1

thoughts?

2006-10-28 10:19:28 · 12 answers · asked by Retarded Dave 5

I want your best jokes, story jokes, one-liners, whatever just make me laugh. I like this joke (i'm not racist aight, its just funny) Why don't they teach drivers ed and sex ed on the same day in mexico? Give up? Cause the donkeys get to tired!!

2006-10-28 10:19:20 · 1 answers · asked by josh44629 1

Willys cynical thought for the fugging day,

Online ain't the place to get sympathy, if you really want it it's in the ******* dictionary between sh*t and syphilis

If a round peg fits into a round hole, and a square peg fits into a square hole, then why isn't the end of a penis shaped like an axe?

http://www.willyblues.com/

2006-10-28 10:19:10 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-28 10:17:04 · 36 answers · asked by Stanleymonkey 2

I can't seem to find it.

2006-10-28 10:15:36 · 14 answers · asked by Optimistic 6

They're all clues connected with sweets, choc bars etc. for example nomad = drifter or mother's local = mars bar
Here they are.

A good stretch of road, A dog, Not dim ones,
Prevent from talking, 9-10-11-12,
Aromatic spheres, Like heineken perhaps.

2006-10-28 10:12:22 · 5 answers · asked by button mushroom 3

My uncle Ben was working on a shop roof fixing the sign which had a large "O" he was leanling through this when he fell to his death. His epitaph read
Tthroughout the whole world.
No one finer or better,
He went as he came,
Through a hole in a letter.

2006-10-28 10:10:07 · 8 answers · asked by bo nidle 4

And if So, can I save a ton of money on my car insurance?

2006-10-28 09:51:10 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-28 09:46:35 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-28 09:45:59 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

he says, hello, is that 552....552? The voice says, this IS double 5, 2, double 5, 2, Paddy says, oh! sorry i bothered ya, i got the wrong number

2006-10-28 09:45:54 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-28 09:44:32 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

There is a dangerous virus going around (especially on a Friday). It is called WORK. If you receive WORK from your colleagues, your boss or anyone else, via e-mail or any other means, DO NOT TOUCH IT! This virus wipes out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK, put on your jacket, take two good friends and go straight to the nearest pub. Buy the antidote known as BEER or BELL S . Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

Forward this warning immediately to at least 5 friends. Should you realize that you do not have 5 friends, this means that you are already infected and that WORK already controls your life.

REMEMBER, THIS VIRUS IS DEADLY!

2006-10-28 09:42:49 · 5 answers · asked by zaazzy 4