Jokes & Riddles - October 2006

nothing you have told her twice...

2006-10-28 22:26:32 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

I had posted these b4,posting it again for those who missed
From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small
island who is shouting and desperately waving his hands.
"Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain.
"I've no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes nuts"
Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his
examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them
anything."
Q: Why do people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get
older.
A: They're cramming for their finals.
1st thief, "Police! Quick! jump out of the window!"
2nd thief, "But this is the 13th floor"
1st: "Hurry! This is no time to be superstitious"
A drunk got into a taxi and told the driver, "Take me to The
Piccadely Hotel."
The taxi driver turned round and said, "But we are at The
Piccadely Hotel, we're parked right outside it." 'That's fine then,
but next time, don't drive so damn fast!"

2006-10-28 22:24:42 · 11 answers · asked by asdf 1

(and iranian nuke psychos).......

What do nuclear scientists have for lunch?

2006-10-28 21:43:20 · 7 answers · asked by 【ツ】ρεαcε! 5

2006-10-28 21:25:29 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-28 21:13:29 · 14 answers · asked by SERGIO 1

2006-10-28 21:11:41 · 19 answers · asked by jagdish s 1

A chicken and an egg were lying next to each other in bed.

The chicken was smiling and smoking a cigarette.

With a pissed off look the egg said "Well, I guess we've answered that question".

2006-10-28 20:52:02 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-28 20:51:08 · 8 answers · asked by Heron By The Sea 7

Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees a big bad wolf crouched down behind a log.

"My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf."

The wolf jumps up and runs away.

Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched behind a bush.
"My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf."

Again the wolf jumps up and runs away.

About a half mile down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock.
"My what big teeth you have, Mr. Wolf."

With that the wolf jumps up and screams, "Will you knock it off? I'm trying to poop!"

2006-10-28 20:49:13 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

I mean seriously, I should be in bed now.

2006-10-28 20:40:27 · 13 answers · asked by desertskieswoman 5

if I work on a fishing boat out at sea and get really good at baiting fish hooks, could I put on my resume I am a master baiter?

2006-10-28 19:40:04 · 10 answers · asked by basireid 2

i turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champane bubble.
If you sqeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.
Can you guess the riddle?

2006-10-28 19:28:14 · 13 answers · asked by evilsidekick17 1

Last time, we had this following riddle:

What did the plate say to the knife and fork?
A: Food is on me!

Hehe... And here is today's riddle:

Why don't people go to the moon for vacations?

Have fun :)

2006-10-28 18:52:08 · 8 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

Because there's a little bit of good in everyone!

I know its racist but I am half black myself so I believe I have more rights than others to say these things. So dont waste your time writing ''thats racist"

Please don't be offended because it is just a joke....nothing more, nothing less.

Post your own if you have any

2006-10-28 18:49:39 · 10 answers · asked by master_betty_101 2

A ventriloquist and his dummy were telling jokes to an audience. During the blonde joke part of the act, a blonde woman stood up angrily.

"I'm so sick of all these blonde jokes!" she yelled. "My hair color does not reflect my intelligence! I have a masters in biology and I work with forensic scienctists from all over the world! I know ten languages including French, Japanese, and Mandarin Chinese. I have all these accomplishments, but I'm still judged by my hair color!!!!!"

The ventriloquist, quite ashamed, said, "I'm very sorry ma'am, I really didn't mean to offend you..."

"Not you, stupid," the woman said, "I'm talking to the little man on your knee!"

2006-10-28 18:27:45 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

This is the handmotion where you put one hand on top of the other with palms down and make spinning motions with your thumb - simulating a turtle knocked on its back. Where did this come from?

2006-10-28 18:13:30 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

A taxi driver who hit four parked cars and drove through a department store was being interviewed by police.

"You say you lost control of your cab after your passenger tapped you on the shoulder?"

"Yes. It scared the bejeebers out of me."

"How so?"

"I just changed jobs after 20 years of driving a hearse."

2006-10-28 18:10:52 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous

White and Yellow is White

2006-10-28 18:08:45 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

Should be easy...

2006-10-28 18:03:45 · 13 answers · asked by Anon 2

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would
like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1756 .
If you haven't, add 1755.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number

The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).

The next two numbers are YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)

THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2006) IT WILL EVER WORK!!!!

so let me know the trick!! figure out how it works and the correct one will win 10 pts!!

good luck!!

2006-10-28 18:02:44 · 17 answers · asked by pinkcloud2015 5

an iraqy

2006-10-28 17:53:26 · 7 answers · asked by ellementre 2

2006-10-28 17:31:02 · 14 answers · asked by eventhorizon 2

i have 12 on my face and i have 3 hands but no arms and legs what am i?

2006-10-28 17:25:25 · 15 answers · asked by kyle r 1

2006-10-28 17:24:43 · 5 answers · asked by molly 6

Okay really simple its six letters long and begins with a k and ends with a y. and it has only 2 vowels if you don't count the y.

2006-10-28 17:21:16 · 16 answers · asked by KelseyKatastrophe. 1

johns dad has five children micheal alan lisa paul what is his fith childs name?

2006-10-28 17:16:57 · 20 answers · asked by kyle r 1

A farmer in Macon, Georgia, had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them.


At the fair, he met another farmer who owned five male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything fifty-fifty. The farmers lived sixty miles apart. So they agreed to drive thirty miles each, and find a field in which to let the pigs mate.


The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5 a.m., loaded the pigs into the family station wagon, which was the only vehicle he had, and drove the thirty miles.


While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer, "How will I know if they are pregnant?"


The other farmer replied, "If they're in the grass in the morning, they're pregnant, if they're in the mud, they're not."


The next morning the pigs were rolling in the mud. So he hosed them off, loaded them into the family station wagon again and proceeded to try again.


This continued each morning for more than a week.


One morning the farmer was so tired, he couldn't get out of bed. He called to his wife, "Honey, please look outside and tell me whether the pigs are in the mud or in the grass."


"Neither," yelled his wife, "they're in the station wagon and one of them is honking the horn."

2006-10-28 17:06:14 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-28 16:49:13 · 7 answers · asked by Rachel J 1

arg!! my previous qn was 'accidentally' being put for voting,click e wrong icon!

Question: Guess Who Am I

I am the begining of the end, you can see me twice in a week once in a year but never in a day.
Who am I?

2006-10-28 16:47:23 · 16 answers · asked by wise_one 3

just need a laugh and i was wondering if you knew any good jokes

2006-10-28 16:44:25 · 11 answers · asked by liberos-are-fun 2