Any good blonde jokes or just good jokes?

Question

just need a laugh and i was wondering if you knew any good jokes

Answer 1

Well i am a blonde... and those jokes are very offenseful to me!! but instid of a joke i'll tell u what i did the other day... i was talking to this guy and chewing gum and i like bit the tip of my tongue it bled so bad and i almost bit the whole tip off!!! so a blonde i guess can't talk and chew gum at the same time!!! -this is true it hurt!!

Answer 2

There was this rich guy who got rich by being a miser. He never gave money away when he could help it. He put an ad in the paper that said "Painter needed. Generous wage."
The next day a blonde lady comes and rings his doorbell. "Hi there," she said "I'm here about the painting job."
"Great" said the rich man. "I need you to strip and paint my porch. I'll give you $50 to do it."
Now the rich man had heard that blonde women were not too smart, so he figured that she wouldn't understand that $50 was not enough for stripping and painting his huge porch, which wrapped all the way around the huge house and was more than twenty feet wide.
"Sure," said the blonde, "I'll be done before you know it."
As the blonde took the power sander, paint cans and brush, the rich man went back in his house, chuckling to himself. His wife chided him for taking advantage of the lady, but the man simply said "She agreed to it even after I told her how much she'd be paid." and went on reading his newspaper. About an hour passed before the butler escorted the blonde back into the house.
"Need some more paint?" The rich man asked in an amused tone.
"Nope," said the blonde. "I'm all done."
The rich man narrowed his eyes at her and said "You stripped and repainted the whole porch in only an hour?"
"Yep," she said, "but it wasn't a Porch...it was a Mazerati."

Answer 3

good blonde joke.........just for you:

One day a blonde is driving home when she rear-ends a man in his truck. The man stops and yells at her to get out of her car, so she steps out and tries to apologize.

He then draws a circle in the sand and tells her to stand inside and not to step out. He goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, walks over to her car, and smashes in the window.

She begins to giggle, so he looks back at her angrily and tells her to be quiet. Then he starts beating in the hood of her car.

She giggles again, and he turns to her and says, "You're askin' for it, lady!" Then he smashes in her windshield.

By this time the blonde is laughing hysterically, so he looks at her and yells, "What's so funny!?"

She laughs again and replies, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle three times."

2.. A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.

The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him, but finally even she had had enough. She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature."

After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth. "No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer." This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!"

She leaves the door to his room open on her way out. He curses under his breath as he hears people walking past his door, laughing. After a half hour, the man's doctor comes into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor.

Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?"

After a pause, the doctor confesses, "Not with a carnation."

Answer 4

Although this married couple enjoyed their luxury fishing boat together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel operating the boat. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency.

So one day out on the lake he said to his wife, "Please take the wheel, dear. Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore." So she drove the boat to shore.

Later that evening, the wife walked into the living room where her husband was watching television.

She sat down next to him, switched the TV channel, and said to him, "Please go into the kitchen, dear. Pretend I'm having a heart attack. You must set the table, cook the dinner, and wash the dishes."

Answer 5

Last Request

The inmate on death row was scheduled to be put to death by firing squad the follow morning. Throughout the day, the prison guards were being very nice to him. But when they asked him if he wanted something specific for his last meal, he said he didn''''t want anything special. When they asked if there was something special he wanted to do, he said nothing. It went on like this all day.

Finally, when he was put before the firing squad, the guard asked if he wanted a cigarette and a blindfold.

"No," the inmate said, "just get it over with."

"Well, is there anything that I can do for you before you go?" said the guard. "You didn''''t even want a special last meal!"

The inmate thought. "Actually," he said, "Music is my life. One thing I would really like would be to sing my favorite song, one whole time through, with no interruptions."

The guard nodded and told him to go ahead.

The inmate started, "One billion bottles of beer on the wall..."

Answer 6

Yes I have a pile of some good clean jokes. If you are interested write me at [e-mail] or you can simply register to my group http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jokesworld/

Answer 7

120 blondes run into a building ....you would have thought at least one of them had seen i


why do blondes wear knickers ...to keep their ankles warm


whats the advantage of having a blonde in the passenger seat of your car? you can park in the handicap zone

if you want more e-mail me [e-mail]

Answer 8

enter jokes section on

www.freeonnet4u.com

and enjoy like i do. BEST OF LUCK DEAR

Answer 9

What is the difference between a gay guy and a refrigerator?

Refridgerator doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

Answer 10

Ned that is awesome, love it