Jokes & Riddles - October 2006

Who came First...

1) Man
2) Woman
3) The person in the corner watching. lol
4) The thing from Mars
5) God
6) Single cell
7) Egg
8) Chicken
9) Other

2006-10-28 16:28:05 · 28 answers · asked by R C 3

you get a speeding ticket when you’re parked

you have a bumper sticker that says: 'coffee drinkers are good in the sack.'

you answer the door before people knock

you just completed another scarf and you don’t know how to knit

you grind you coffee beans in your mouth

you have to watch videos in fats forward

you can take a picture of yourself from 10 feet away without using the timer

you lick your coffee pot clean

you’re the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don’t even work there

the nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse

your t-shirt says, 'decaffeinated coffee is the devils coffee.'

you’re so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas

you can type 60 words per minute with your feet

cocaine is a downer

instant coffee takes too long

you want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee jar

you go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee

you’re offended when people use the word ‘brew’ to mean beer

you have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug

you can outlast the energizer bunny

your liver used soft lights, romantic music, and a glass of iced coffee to get you in the mood

you introduce your spouse as your coffee mate

your urine stream bores a hole in the toilet

you have two complete orgasms whilst brushing your teeth

you talk so fast your tongue has windburn

you jog to work and arrive yesterday

your eyes are brown...even the white parts

you personally account for more than 1% of the gross national product of brazil

mosquitoes that bite you can fly through glass

you bungee jump and go up

your coffee breath can etch glass

you think skydiving is just too damned slow

2006-10-28 16:21:20 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

who said this " Shazbot "

2006-10-28 15:39:05 · 7 answers · asked by BoTToms UP 5

2006-10-28 15:37:27 · 5 answers · asked by one_bad_fishy 1

How many licks to reach the center of a tootsie pop?
The world may never know.
Or will they?

2006-10-28 15:36:52 · 33 answers · asked by fatp3ngu1n 3

2006-10-28 15:29:04 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-28 15:07:09 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

Marys mother had three daughter's she named the first one Nickel, the second one Dime,what did she name the third one?

2006-10-28 14:59:55 · 16 answers · asked by mike 2

we say this in class alot, don't get mad @ me if you think it's lame.

2006-10-28 14:57:14 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

the discover at the top of the. screen doesnt it look like pinocchio.

2006-10-28 14:45:59 · 9 answers · asked by love life 2

whats something you can hear

but not see

taste but not feel

know its there and yet you cant see it

its there WHEREEVER you go

first one wins

2006-10-28 14:37:13 · 17 answers · asked by so so fresh 2

It seems that my older daughter (16) often 'spanks' my younger son (12) on his bottom. It doesn't seem like it's out of anger, but rather just for fun or whenever she 'feels like it.'

Is this something to be concerned with? Does anybody have this in their family, or had it done to them/done it to anybody else?

2006-10-28 14:31:47 · 16 answers · asked by Kelly C 1

I just had a conversation with a block of cheese and it gave me all tha answers I need to nkwo. Would you like me to ask it a question for you?

2006-10-28 14:30:36 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?
alive, not cut up

its possible
first one wins

2006-10-28 14:24:57 · 13 answers · asked by so so fresh 2

It runs in your jeans!!!!!

2006-10-28 14:08:23 · 12 answers · asked by i like fried chicken 3

then you must be a redneck

2006-10-28 13:58:14 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

I turn polar bears whiteand I will make you cry.I make guys have to peeand girls comb their hair.I make celebrities look stupidand normal people look like celebrities.I turn pancakes brownand make your champane bubble.If you sqeeze me, I'll pop.If you look at me, you'll pop.Can you guess the riddle?

2006-10-28 13:41:51 · 24 answers · asked by agape♥ 3

2006-10-28 13:41:47 · 10 answers · asked by spaghetti 2

It's more powerful than God.
It's more evil than the devil.
The poor have it.
The rich need it.
If you eat it, you'll die.
What am I

2006-10-28 13:32:06 · 16 answers · asked by rhondwht4 2

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

2006-10-28 13:19:01 · 8 answers · asked by Mercedes B 1

2006-10-28 13:17:10 · 38 answers · asked by Midnight Dynamo 3

I'm really sad! I've been sick for three days! I'm getting bloody noses from my medicine! My nose is plugged, I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes open, my throat is sore and it's so clogged I can't breath! I'm really depressed! Make me laugh or something! PLEASE!

2006-10-28 13:10:19 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Can anyone here explain exactly how you talk in a Donald Duck voice?

2006-10-28 13:06:05 · 4 answers · asked by First L 2

2006-10-28 12:55:39 · 18 answers · asked by wibi s 1

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year- old blonde who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm.

She hangs onto Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word.

His buddies at the club are all aghast.

At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, "Bob, how did you get the trophy girlfriend?"

Bob replies, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!"

They're amazed, but continue to ask. "So, how did you persuade her to marry you?"

"I lied about my age", Bob replies.

"What, did you tell her you were only 50?"

Bob smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."

2006-10-28 12:53:12 · 15 answers · asked by toietmoi 6

I turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champane bubble.
If you sqeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.
Can you guess the riddle?

2006-10-28 12:51:14 · 19 answers · asked by Just_Here_3 aNSWER 1

2006-10-28 12:42:52 · 16 answers · asked by wheeliebin 6

2006-10-28 12:36:14 · 25 answers · asked by STORMY K 3

mine involves ovens, pizza and a little event that happened in the 1940's.

2006-10-28 12:34:35 · 15 answers · asked by xknyghtmayre 4

You can See Me
You Can Feel Me
If you touch me, you will die
What Am I

2006-10-28 12:17:09 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous