I'm really sad! I've been sick for three days! I'm getting bloody noses from my medicine! My nose is plugged, I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes open, my throat is sore and it's so clogged I can't breath! I'm really depressed! Make me laugh or something! PLEASE!
2006-10-28 13:10:19 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A lady walks into a penthouse bar and sees a really cute guy sitting at the
counter. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking.
"Magic Beer", he says.
She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after realizing that there is no one else worth talking to, goes back to the man sitting at the bar and says, "That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?"
"Yes, I'll show you."
He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building 3 times and comes back in the window. The lady can't believe it: "I bet you can't do that again." He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window.
She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer, so the guy says to the bartender, "Give her one of what I'm having."
She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body, and dies.
The bartender looks up at the guy and says, "You know, Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk!"
2006-10-28 13:24:10 · answer #1 · answered by ranfile7 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A man and a woman started making love in the middle of a dark forest. A few minutes later, the man gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight."
The woman says, "So do I. You've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
2006-10-28 23:40:05 · answer #2 · answered by JubJub 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you will laugh at this joke...If so, 10 points will be mine..OK?
Last summer, the President and Mrs. Clinton were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. On a venture one day, they stopped at a service station to fill up the car with gas. It seemed that the owner of the station was once Hillary's high school love.
They exchanged hellos, and went on their way.
As they were driving on to their destination, Bill put his arm around Hillary and said, "Well, honey, if you had stayed with him, you would be the wife of a service station owner today."
She smirked and replied, "No, if I had stayed with him, he would be President of the United States."
2006-10-29 08:05:40 · answer #3 · answered by Electric 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok here goes
this is an old joke
hope you like
COMPUTER GENDER
We attribute gender to many inanimate objects. For instance, ships are referred to as 'she', while most people think of automobiles as masculine. But are computers male or female?
We provide arguments for both sides...
WOMEN THINK COMPUTERS ARE MASCULINE BECAUSE..
-In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
-They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
-They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
-As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better modle.
MEN THINK COMPUTERS ARE FEMININE BECAUSE...
-No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
-The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
-Even your smallest mistake are stored in long- term memory for later retrieval.
-As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories.
NOW HAVE A GREAT LAUGH!!!!!
2006-10-29 18:07:46 · answer #4 · answered by annie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This horse walks into a bar and the bartender says:
Hey, Why the long face?
2006-10-28 20:14:09 · answer #5 · answered by stj426 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
wanna now something everybody in the world has **** there pants but they dont say it watch ask someboby the frist answer woulb be no but u know that they did
2006-10-28 20:13:51 · answer #6 · answered by atall 1 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why did the frog jump out of the water?
because the fish was trying to bite him...ps.it was a shark not a fish...
2006-10-28 20:32:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry you're sick. Why is a man smarter during sex? He's plugged into a genius!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-28 21:29:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ello! look at this vids..lol..they're kind of stupid...but really funny...hehe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkCMAR39uEQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuwPkVhaR38
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atT5FTFuULc
and by the way, hope u get better soon... :D
2006-10-30 15:51:56 · answer #9 · answered by Re 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋