Jokes & Riddles - January 2007

2007-01-30 20:39:13 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-30 20:38:02 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-30 20:36:49 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-30 20:35:20 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-30 20:29:39 · 11 answers · asked by Curious 5

to buy his daily ration of cheese when he bumped into ronaldiniho, he was so excited he......

2007-01-30 20:27:21 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

ever seen a blind sheep buy some shoes, just because his mam was adopted?

2007-01-30 20:25:16 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-30 20:24:55 · 17 answers · asked by risk99 1

hand in hand
hand in that
that in hand
that in that

2007-01-30 20:24:51 · 19 answers · asked by sexafone 1

2007-01-30 20:18:02 · 16 answers · asked by flavorlicious 2

2007-01-30 20:10:16 · 6 answers · asked by donkeywollenjumper 1

This is the current name:
TheJokeGallery2, I deleted the Joke Gallery years ago on accident.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheJokeGallery2/

I like the name Laugh a Little. I did use it to create another joke group, but I never really did much with that group I more so focused on this group. What do you think about that name? If you have any suggestions on a more creative name, all help would be appreciated. And hey if you like jokes ranging from kids to adult, I would love to have new members.

I create animated graphics like the comment ones on My Space. Each week the members who send in jokes will get something from me like this week, I'm going to make something to do with Valentine's Day.
XOXO Vixen

http://www.myspace.com/vixen_creations

2007-01-30 19:48:56 · 3 answers · asked by Twisted Vixen 4

Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City.

The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus.
The Blonde team rides on the top level.

The Brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the Blondes upstairs.

She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.

The Brunette asks, "What the heck's goin' on up here? We're havin' a grand time downstairs!"

One of the Blondes from the second team looks up and says...
"Yeah, but you've got a driver!"

2007-01-30 19:35:52 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

ahead, so blows the horn. There is no response. Train driver keeps on blowing the horn with a hope the living being on the tracks will move away.
On seeing no response he applies the brakes and the train grinds to halt just short of the thing on the tracks.
Train driver gets down from the train and moves forward to inspect. He suddenly sees a man and woman getting up. The man is zipping up his trousers and the woman is straightening her skirt. Both have a conted look on their face after the performance.
Train driver is aghast and asks the man, didn't u hear the horn, both of u cud hv been runover.
The man replies, we did hear but it was like this

I WAS COMMING
SHE WAS COMMING
YOU WERE COMMING
BUT ONLY YOU HAD THE BRAKES!

2007-01-30 19:20:32 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

A Chicago man dies and goes to hell.

When he gets there, the devil comes over to welcome him. The devil then says "sometimes it gets pretty uncomfortable down here."

The man says, "No problem. I'm from Chicago."

So the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to 100, and the humidity up to 80. He then goes back to the Chicago man to see how he's doing. To the devil's surprise, the man is doing just fine.

"No problem...just like Chicago in June," the man says.

So the devil goes back over to the thermostat, and turns the temperature up to 150, and the humidity up to 90. He then goes back over to see how the Chicago man is doing.

The man is sweating a little, but overall looks comfortable.
"No problem. Just like Chicago in July," the man says.

So now the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to 200, and the humidity up to 100. When he goes back to see how the man is doing, the man is sweating profusely, and has taken his shirt off. Otherwise, he seems OK.

He says, "no problem. Just like Chicago in August."

Now the devil is really perplexed. So he goes back to the thermostat, and turns the temperature down to MINUS 150 DEGREES. Immediately, all the humidity in the air freezes up, and the whole place (meaning Hell) becomes a frigid, barren, frozen, deathly cold wasteland.

When he goes back now to see how the Chicago man is doing, he is shocked to discover the man is jumping up and down, and cheering in obvious delight. The devil immediately asks the man what's going on.
To which the Chicago man replies.....

"THE CUBS WON THE WORLD SERIES!!!"
"THE CUBS WON THE WORLD SERIES!!!"

2007-01-30 19:19:00 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

There are 2 ducks in front of 2 other ducks.
There are 2 ducks behind 2 other ducks.
There are 2 ducks beside 2 other ducks.
How many ducks are there?

2007-01-30 19:13:09 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

How many yahoo users does it take to change a lightbulb? 1,000..... 1 to hold the lightbulb & 999 to turn the building round & round.

2007-01-30 19:07:03 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Lighthouse verses Boat quite funny lol!?
The lighthouse station called Arctowski is probably the most southerly lighthouse in the world. Built at the Polish research station in Antarctica named after Henryk Arctowski, the famous 19th century Polish geographer and Antarctic explorer. Situated on King George Island in the South Shetlands group, its geographical position is 62o10'S, 58o28'W.
The following is the transcript of the actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland:

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees the North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse, over...

2007-01-30 19:06:57 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man advertised in newspaper (Wife wanted).
Next day many emails come to him.
But all are from men , which they equally said (Please take my wife).

2007-01-30 18:40:34 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

please answer carefully, I dont mean (SMILE).

2007-01-30 18:31:30 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

now this is real,today during our science lesson,our teacher teach us how to create a cell,she use a plastic bag filled it up with water and then put in a ball and call it nuclears,and he open a m&m,and she take out a red and blue colour chocolate and call them ???and ???,and finally she took out a green one and say that it is a choloplast,then she ask what is in the choloplast,then our class all said together CHOCOLATE.

2007-01-30 18:15:32 · 5 answers · asked by hpz ftw 4

Spits on his back.

2007-01-30 18:10:00 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-30 17:26:19 · 11 answers · asked by Jesse C 1

A man and a woman were driving in their car when it broke down. The man decided to go for help at a gas station a few miles back. He made sure nobody was in the car, rolled all the windows up, and locked all of the sedan's doors.

He went off, but when he came back, his wife was dead, and there was a stranger in the car. No physical damage was done to the car, so how did the stranger get in?

2007-01-30 17:23:32 · 12 answers · asked by xrandomnessx 2

...and then we asked if they could let a koala sit on my friend's shoulder, the zoo keeper said if she liked, she could let me sit on her shoulder but not the koala. Was that rude??? But I just thought: it's funny to say this but not to the tourists if you work in a zoo, but we laughed anyway.

Survey: RUDE or FUNNY?

2007-01-30 16:48:02 · 7 answers · asked by ◄Hercules► 6

2007-01-30 16:47:50 · 8 answers · asked by Taylor C 1

2007-01-30 16:45:19 · 4 answers · asked by Taylor C 1

A cop was walking past a restaurant when he heard someone scream - "No John, not the gun!" He ran inside and and saw a doctor, a lawyer, a milkman, and a dead body on the floor. He promptly walked over to the milkman and arrested him. He didn't witness the shooting and there was no apparent evidence to prove who shot the person and no one told him who the killer was.

How did the policeman instantly know it was the milkman?

2007-01-30 16:32:59 · 9 answers · asked by xrandomnessx 2

2007-01-30 16:11:28 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-30 16:00:24 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous