Jokes & Riddles - November 2006

2006-11-03 07:26:02 · 10 answers · asked by Chris B 2

The word has seven letters. Is greater than god. More evil than the devil. All poor people have it. Wealthy people need it. If you eat it you will die! Whats the word?

2006-11-03 07:23:04 · 22 answers · asked by Chris B 2

ie: your stomach/sides
your bare feet
your armpits

2006-11-03 07:22:25 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-11-03 07:14:24 · 12 answers · asked by mharits 2

2006-11-03 07:01:59 · 14 answers · asked by filotofo 1

paul daniels is on stage doing his usual magic routine, "and for my next trick i will make this rabbit disappear" when a drunken man in the audiance starts heckling " its up your sleeve you idiot"
paul continues "and now i will make all the cards vanish into thin air" again the drunk heckles " they are on the floor" paul starts to get annoyed and asks the man "are you on your own mate?" the drunk replies "nope i am with me wife" so paul asks the man if he can use his wife for his next illusion, the drunk says alright and his wife is applauded onto the stage, paul then stands his wife on the middle of the stage and places a curtain around her, he then disappears behind the curtain with her and everyone hears his flies unzips followed by giggles then heavy groans by the woman, the man runs to the stage and pulls back the curtains to see paul shafting his wife , the drunk says "oi thats no illusion" and pauls replies "nope but thats magic"

2006-11-03 07:00:12 · 18 answers · asked by ploppy pants 3

2006-11-03 06:57:08 · 25 answers · asked by Chris B 2

Lost Yesterday - Somewhere between Sunrise And Sunset!
Two Golden Hours - Each set with 60 diamond minutes.
No reward is offered as theyre gone forever!

2006-11-03 06:55:14 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

I don't care if it's just a one liner or a Yo mama joke. The more vulgar the better.

2006-11-03 06:54:11 · 12 answers · asked by filotofo 1

2006-11-03 06:44:58 · 10 answers · asked by Casey 3

when you read this joke read each part with the supposed accent


the dustmen were emptying bins down this road, when they came to number 23 there was no dustbin so dave shouted (cockney) no bin at 23 guv. to whichthe guv replied knock then

so dave knocked on the door and was greeted by a little chinese woman,
dave wheres your bin love?
chinese woman arrr i have bin to china

dave laughing no wheres your wheelie bin ?
chinese woman i wheelie bin to china

2006-11-03 06:44:54 · 22 answers · asked by ploppy pants 3

Mary had a little lamb she thought it rather silly, she threw it in the air one day and caught it by its willy was a sheepdog lying in the grass, along came a bumble bee and stung it up the assk no questions, tell no lies, but I saw a policeman doing up his flies are a pest, but bees are worse and this is the end of my silly little verse!

2006-11-03 06:33:17 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

What movie is this line from?

2006-11-03 06:30:13 · 6 answers · asked by Win 4

What Is your take on the aristocrats joke. Don't care how long it is i wanna here how you would tell the joke.

2006-11-03 06:27:50 · 3 answers · asked by Jordan M 2

He who makes it has no use for it.
He who buys it doesn't need it.
and he who uses it can't touch or see it.

What is it?

2006-11-03 06:24:07 · 20 answers · asked by BoRNACiD 2

Dr dave had slept with one of his patients and felt really guilty.No matter how much he tried,the sense of betrayal was overwhelming. but every once in a while he'd hear an internal reassuring voice say " don't worry about it dave, you aren't the 1st doctor to sleep with one of your patients and you wont be the last, you're single, just let it go." But invariably another voice would bring him back to reality whispering, " dave, you're a f**king vet."

2006-11-03 06:17:21 · 23 answers · asked by mine of useless information 1

why did the one armed man cross the road?
to get to the second hand shop

why did the chicken cross the road?
to get to the other side
why did it want to get to the other side?
to get to the gents toilet
why did it want the gents toilet?
it where all the cocks hang out

2006-11-03 06:12:45 · 11 answers · asked by ploppy pants 3

2006-11-03 06:11:25 · 32 answers · asked by Chloe B 1

what do single guys have.
PALM SUNDAY

2006-11-03 06:06:39 · 4 answers · asked by ? 4

Its not hard

2006-11-03 06:05:13 · 11 answers · asked by ? 4

girl with small breasts goes to a dance, can't get a boyfriend and goes home crying to her mother. next night her mother pads her bra out with paper, she goes to the dance and a boy asks her out. she accepts but says to boy, i have a confession to make, i have paper breasts. he replies, thats ok as long as you don't have a cardboard box.

2006-11-03 05:58:31 · 31 answers · asked by mine of useless information 1

I'm not a fat chick & I want to buy that shirt on the internet & wear it, it's freaking funny!! But just mentioning it, pisses off alot of people. It's not my fault I'm not fat! Oh, wait a minute, yes it is!! Do you think I should get the shirt & wear it proud or do you think I should be sympathetic to fat chicks?.....Also have a shirt about sheep, do you think they are offended?

2006-11-03 05:30:22 · 4 answers · asked by Crystal A 3

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
"Hurry!" she said, "Stand in the corner,"
She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue."
"What's this, honey?" the husband asked as he entered the room
"Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked the idea so much, I got one for us, too.
No more was said about the "statue". Later that night when they went to sleep. Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went into the kitchen, and returned with a sandwich and a glass of milk.
"Here." he said to the 'statue'. "Eat this. I stood like an idiot at
the Smiths for three days and nobody offered me so much as a glass of water."

2006-11-03 05:29:54 · 3 answers · asked by Pd 6

its in my list the second Q

2006-11-03 05:20:58 · 1 answers · asked by Wind Chime 4

In about 1989 there were a group of us at several universities who began word riddles via a fairly new thing called e-mail. I thought to possibly revive this half mini mystery book, half riddle, on Answers. All clues must be in the body of a tale with a reasonable amount of verisimiltude. There must be at least two clues to the person, place, or book that would be the answer to the word riddle.
The tale cannot be more than a 100 words. Hints may be given if no one can glean the answer. . .

Do y'all want to continue this challenge to your think box?

2006-11-03 04:24:33 · 2 answers · asked by Terry 7

I have a 100 legs but cannot stand, a long neck but no head,
and I eat the maid's life.

2006-11-03 04:06:35 · 31 answers · asked by immichellegottaloveme 1

the local priest came along Paddy who was drunk and stumbled out of a bar.Paddy i'm afraid i'm not going to see you in heaven one day. really father ansewerd paddy what have you done??

2006-11-03 04:05:43 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

answer me plz!!!! ;-D

2006-11-03 03:58:45 · 25 answers · asked by jaze 1

a chicken was having a date with a rooster at a beach and after getting out from house to go to date by walking and when that chicken be right in the place found out there was no even one feather on its skin.....
Can you know why?

2006-11-03 03:51:45 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

There's nothing worse than a doctor's receptionist who insists you tell
her what is wrong with you in a room full of patients.
I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old
guy handled it.

An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded doctor's waiting room.
As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are
you seeing the doctor for today?"
There's something wrong with my dick," he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a
crowded doctor's room and say things like that."
Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.
The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment
in this room full of people. You should have said there is something
wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further
with the doctor in private."
The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people things in a room full of
others, if the answer could embarrass anyone."
The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.
The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"
"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken
her advice."And what is wrong with your ear, sir?"
I can't p$£” out of it," the man replied.
The waiting room erupted in laughter.

2006-11-03 03:48:10 · 29 answers · asked by dididdleydihi 3