A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence. "Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?"
"I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant."
"You sell them here?" the customer asks.
"Only $5 each," says Green.
The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter.
"You didn't eat enough," says Green. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry.
"Hey, Green," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for $5 apiece when I can buy the whole fish for $3. You're ripping me off!"
"You see?" says Green. "You're smarter already."
2007-11-29 02:35:54 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Senior Citizens
"The manner of giving is worth more than the gift." - Pierre Corneille
2007-11-29 02:35:53 · 31 answers · asked by Ramjet 5 in Religion & Spirituality
Note that merely saying 'life begins at conception' is not an argument.
2007-11-29 02:33:49 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct, now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
--------------------------------------...
*TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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*TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
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*TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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*TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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It's always a blast to laugh :-)
1 day ago - 2 days left to answer.
Additional Details
1 day ago
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
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TEACHER:George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS:Because George still had the ax in his hand.
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog.
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TEACHER: Harold what do u call a person who keeps on talking when people r no longer interested?
Harold: a teacher
2007-11-29 02:33:28 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Senior Citizens
2007-11-29 02:31:27 · 34 answers · asked by Chickoon 4 in Religion & Spirituality
...does it deserve legal protection? How is it biologically different from a conceptus?
2007-11-29 02:31:07 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality
The people of the Pacific island of Tanna believe that the Duke of Edinburgh is a god. Do you agree with them and if not is your religion (if any) any more rational?
2007-11-29 02:29:43 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality
Does "reconciled" have anything to do with
the will of God to have mercy, not sacrifice?
2007-11-29 02:29:22 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality
2007-11-29 02:29:16 · 12 answers · asked by gggggg 6 in Senior Citizens
2007-11-29 02:29:15 · 8 answers · asked by carl 4 in Religion & Spirituality
their gods? im just curious cause i watched taboo yesterday and now im not sure if im truely getting paganism. so if you can, can you get me an informed link or some kind of truthful information from a true pagan, cause im finding the religion interesting. Especially how you guys keep to the True Gods, Zues, Anubis, and others.
2007-11-29 02:27:58 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality
2007-11-29 02:27:05 · 8 answers · asked by RICHARD W 1 in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I work in Human Resources and am constantly being judged by people. I am the most visible person in the company and known by all three hundred people in the company. I am always meeting with employees, doing presentations and meeting with managers about employee issues. I feel like a politician. I have to make difficult decisions, tell people what they do not want to hear and try to not be emotional in difficult situations.
But due to my visibillty, I am always being critized and people love to go to my boss and talk about me behind my back. I have survived at my employer for 7 years so senior management must like my work, but I hear alot of lower level managers and employees hate me.
How do you respond to complaints about you by coworkers?
2007-11-29 02:26:45 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Etiquette
when a meteor as huge as the African continent will strike earth within 5 days?
2007-11-29 02:25:35 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality
is it out yet?? people say it's anti-Catholic why is that?? thank you.
2007-11-29 02:25:05 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality
The Solid Rock Christian song
2007-11-29 02:24:24 · 2 answers · asked by I Love Jesus 5 in Religion & Spirituality
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AmqA83VYk8yvzlvwvgThXrzd7BR.;_ylv=3?qid=20071129071036AAT0Y1F
I just asked this question, and got quite a few responses stating that it becomes a baby when it "breaths its first breath of air." When it "can sustain life outside the womb." And also got answers saying when it "was born."
So your trying to tell me that my unborn daughter (her due date is today), is not a baby yet? That my daughter who I have seen through an ultrasound sucking on her thumb, who I have felt sneezing, coughing, and kicking is not a baby yet?
Some of you people disgust me, to the point where I feel like throwing up...
If you don't want to get pregnant, DON'T HAVE SEX. If you have been raped by someone, and happen to get pregnant, thats a tragity, but at the very least just give it up for adoption. Bad things happen to good people, and they always will. My uncle didn't deserve to be shot on duty, but does that give me the right to go kill his murderer?
2007-11-29 02:23:10 · 22 answers · asked by The Space Cowboy 1 in Religion & Spirituality
I'm taking German. The teacher only speaks German and I'm having a really diffacult time understanding the difference between Akkusativ and Dativ. (Wem und Wen) Can someone please help or tell me where to go for help.
2007-11-29 02:22:37 · 7 answers · asked by jjja1966 1 in Languages
A friend told me recently that no one thought Jesus to be a God until perhaps 200 years after His death.
2007-11-29 02:21:53 · 17 answers · asked by Ariel 2 in Religion & Spirituality
I am hosting Christmas dinner at my house for the first time, and I am looking for some new side dishes to add to the normal green bean cassarole and mashed potatoes. We are serving Ham as the meat and I am adding glazed baby carrots to the menu this year.
I am just interested in seeing what your family puts on the Christmas dinner table and maybe I will add it to mine!
2007-11-29 02:20:25 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Christmas
2007-11-29 02:18:28 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality
2007-11-29 02:17:56 · 31 answers · asked by little kizzy 5 in Christmas
They bring religion into it?
Both Catholic and Muslim do it the most from what I see.
Eg. why are we here...... "It's the will of God"
So on so forth.
This is what creates wars between the races,
I donno why ye all cant just get along.
2007-11-29 02:17:55 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality
Would stay a girl? or stay a boy? If you had the chance to change in the future.
2007-11-29 02:17:43 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Mythology & Folklore
There is a beautiful and convincing explanation given by the Chinese Legend...
Thumb represents your Parents
Second (Index) finger represents your Siblings
Middle finger represents your-Self
Fourth (Ring) finger represents your Life Partner
& the Last (Little) finger represents your children
Firstly, open your palms (face to face), bend the middle fingers and hold them together - back to back
Secondly, open and hold the remaining three fingers and the thumb - tip to tip
Now, try to separate your thumbs (representing the parents)..., they will open, because your parents are not destined to live with you lifelong, and have to leave you sooner or later.
Please join your thumbs as before and separate your Index fingers (representing siblings)...., they will also open, because your brothers and sisters will have their own families and will have to lead their own separate lives.
Now join the Index fingers and separate your Little fingers (representing your children)...., they will open too, because the children also will get married and settle down on their own some day.
Finally, join your Little fingers, and try to separate your Ring fingers (representing your spouse).
You will be surprised to see that you just CANNOT....., because Husband & Wife have to remain together all their lives - through thick and thin!!
Try it out.
2007-11-29 02:17:25 · 16 answers · asked by Lady G 6 in Senior Citizens
Creationists want to reform schools on the belief that the universe was created in six days, as Moses first book says. But Moses third book also says that one shall not eat porc, hare or any bird. But eating grasshoppers is okay (they have two wings and four legs). It also says that boys must be circumcised 8 days after birth and that men must not cut their hair or shave their beard. How can Christian men take only a part of what they call a holy book? What kind of religion is that?
2007-11-29 02:16:46 · 18 answers · asked by Michel Verheughe 7 in Religion & Spirituality
AN OLD MAN WAS GROCERY SHOPPING WITH HIS GRANDSON. THE TODDLER WAS CRYING AND AT TIMES SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS.
AS THE OLD GENTLEMAN WALKED UP AND DOWN THE AISLES, PEOPLE COULD HEAR HIM SPEAKING IN A SOFT VOICE...
"WE ARE ALMOST DONE, ALBERT...
TRY NOT TO CRY, ALBERT...
LIFE WILL GET BETTER, ALBERT..."
AS HE APPROACHED THE CHECKOUT STAND, HE CAREFULLY BRUSHED THE TODDLER'S
TEARS FROM HIS EYES AND SAID AGAIN,
"TRY NOT TO CRY, ALBERT...
WE WILL BE HOME SOON, ALBERT..."
AS HE WAS PAYING THE CASHIER, THE TODDLER CONTINUED TO CRY AS A YOUNG WOMAN IN LINE BEHIND HIM SAID, "SIR, I THINK IT IS WONDERFUL HOW SWEET YOU ARE BEING TO YOUR LITTLE ALBERT."
THE OLD GENTLEMAN BLINKED HIS EYES A COUPLE OF TIMES BEFORE SAYING,
MY GRANDSON'S NAME IS JOHN..........
I'M ALBERT...........
2007-11-29 02:16:08 · 12 answers · asked by Lady G 6 in Senior Citizens
2007-11-29 02:15:29 · 11 answers · asked by carl 4 in Religion & Spirituality
To the LORD your God belong the heavens, even the highest heavens, the earth and everything in it (Deuteronomy 10:14).
For God HIMSELF, said "The world is mine, and all that is in it" (Psalm 50:12).
He even created man with the ability to comprehend elements of His creation. And through the abundance of His mercy and LOVE toward us, He gives us the choice to serve him OR reject His.
We, brethren, serve a MIGHTY God!
"As for ME and MY house, WE shall serve the LORD" Joshua 24:15
2007-11-29 02:15:13 · 19 answers · asked by JayDee 2 in Religion & Spirituality
They live here work here and no matter how much love care or sympathy you give them they just seem to be unappreciative rude and self centred.I'm not only talking about the men,but the women etc......their attitude is a turn-off,they don't seem to get it,and they are not liked(among most people i know)I find this in the iranian culture,the saudi culture,or whatever the hell these people call themselves.And why do they ALWAYS stick to their own kind and not want to mingle?
2007-11-29 02:14:28 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality
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