Ok, so heres the story:
I have been with my boyfriend now for almost 2 years. I love him to death, he's a great person. We're in a long distance relationship.. and when i say long distance I mean LONG distance. (5k miles). We wont be able to be together permenately for at the very least another 2 1/2-3 years. Now I love this guy, and he's really had an effect on me throughout the past 2 years. Through loss, grief, etc, he's been there for me. But with each progressing day, i'm furthering away from him. I'm 21 years old, and I think to myself what am I doing here? I tell myself daily our love is worth it, and in the end we'll be together. I tell him that, and we both fight for it, but lately it's been harder then ever for me. I get so lonely, and so depressed about it. I find myself wondering if I should just break it off. I mean, I care about him, I love him, but I just can't take it anymore. My life keeps getting mixed up because of it. I can't keep a normal job because once I start a job, within a month he wants me to come visit him there, and I can't just take 2 weeks off of work when I just started. (i'm a student) Money is tight because of our visits (hotels planes etc), and it's so hard for me to save anything for myself (my car, a place to live, etc). I know you have to make sacrifices in any relationship, but it's beginning to be to much for me. Not only that, but the entire situation depresses me. The fact we dont have any intimacy because of the distance, can't just be together, etc. I'm young, I used to think I knew everything and that we'd make it through this, but I AM young, and it's so difficult for me. Also, lastly, I met someone. I'm not cheating on my boyfriend with this guy, but i'm beginning to fall for him. He and I are like 2 peas in pod. He has so much to offer, and isn't 5,000 miles away. I know in my heart that even feeling anything for this guy at all, says a lot about what I thought I entirely felt for my SO.. I know in my heart as well, that this isn't really the relationship I want to be in.. but I can't hurt him. This guy loves me whole heartedly, and would do anything in his natural power to fight to keep me. I'm so afraid if I break up with him i'll destroy him. he's told me numerous times if he was to ever lose me, he'd be empty. he wouldn't be able to exsist. What am I suppose to do about that? I dont wanna break his heart, and I don't want to have him hate me.
2007-01-30
05:52:13
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17 answers
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asked by
eousou
2
in
Singles & Dating