Ok, so heres the story:
I have been with my boyfriend now for almost 2 years. I love him to death, he's a great person. We're in a long distance relationship.. and when i say long distance I mean LONG distance. (5k miles). We wont be able to be together permenately for at the very least another 2 1/2-3 years. Now I love this guy, and he's really had an effect on me throughout the past 2 years. Through loss, grief, etc, he's been there for me. But with each progressing day, i'm furthering away from him. I'm 21 years old, and I think to myself what am I doing here? I tell myself daily our love is worth it, and in the end we'll be together. I tell him that, and we both fight for it, but lately it's been harder then ever for me. I get so lonely, and so depressed about it. I find myself wondering if I should just break it off. I mean, I care about him, I love him, but I just can't take it anymore. My life keeps getting mixed up because of it. I can't keep a normal job because once I start a job, within a month he wants me to come visit him there, and I can't just take 2 weeks off of work when I just started. (i'm a student) Money is tight because of our visits (hotels planes etc), and it's so hard for me to save anything for myself (my car, a place to live, etc). I know you have to make sacrifices in any relationship, but it's beginning to be to much for me. Not only that, but the entire situation depresses me. The fact we dont have any intimacy because of the distance, can't just be together, etc. I'm young, I used to think I knew everything and that we'd make it through this, but I AM young, and it's so difficult for me. Also, lastly, I met someone. I'm not cheating on my boyfriend with this guy, but i'm beginning to fall for him. He and I are like 2 peas in pod. He has so much to offer, and isn't 5,000 miles away. I know in my heart that even feeling anything for this guy at all, says a lot about what I thought I entirely felt for my SO.. I know in my heart as well, that this isn't really the relationship I want to be in.. but I can't hurt him. This guy loves me whole heartedly, and would do anything in his natural power to fight to keep me. I'm so afraid if I break up with him i'll destroy him. he's told me numerous times if he was to ever lose me, he'd be empty. he wouldn't be able to exsist. What am I suppose to do about that? I dont wanna break his heart, and I don't want to have him hate me.
2007-01-30 05:52:13 · 17 answers · asked by eousou 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
end it. move on.
2007-01-30 05:58:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that it's time for you two to have a heart to heart conversation. Let him know how you feel and why you feel that way. At the same time help him understand that if this is to work out you both need to be on the same page. Let him know that you NEED to work and he needs to respect that. You can't just keep quitting because he wants you to come see him. That will not look good on your resume when you decide to find a permanent job after school. If you feel like you need something more than what he can offer you at the moment, then tell him that it's just not working out. You love him dearly but the distance is just too much. You're 21 so be 21 in a classy way. You can't make him happy if you're not happy. Your happiness needs to come first right now. Just follow your heart.
2007-01-30 06:01:09 · answer #2 · answered by b-recca 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I guess it depends. I'm a 22 year old military wife. I've been married for 2 years. My husbands been to iraq for a year and is going again this year. I believe that a long distance relationship like that is the true test of love. If you can handle it then its great. If not than maybe you are ment to be with someone else. Thats the way I see it. Out of the 2 years we've been married he's been gone for 15 months of it and he's leaving again soon. I know that I can handle it. You just gotta figure out whether you can handle the distance apart.
2007-01-30 05:59:22 · answer #3 · answered by Jesse's Girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If any guy is willing ot be with you in a long distance relationshpi for two years, and he a good man. honey he is a kleeper. As hard as it is , it would be even harder without him in your life. This other guy im sure is nice to, but it is new and chacnes are he wont be good for you, then it will be to late to be with your bf. Stick with your man that you got. Keep your job and have him come visit you once in a while. save up money both of you and in a few months take a nice long vacation together. love always finds a way to work out. I promoise. In the end it wil be worht it
2007-01-30 06:03:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you aren't 100% into the relationship, then it is best to break it off now. It will hurt him much less in the long run if you are up front with him now. Take some time apart and see if you miss him, if you want to still be in that relationship.
Long distance relationships are hard, but if you are finding yourself interested in another guy that you enjoy more than him, then maybe you owe it to both of you to figure your feelings out now versus 5 years down the road when you are married and are second guessing stuff.....
Good luck!
2007-01-30 05:58:29 · answer #5 · answered by CPA2B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you'll never love another the same or give your heart fully. it's a choice and its a way to settle and move forward, but it's heartbreaking and spirit breaking to give up on someone if it never got off the ground as we imagine it should. well, that's just my experience. if your ld love is trying to get with you...2 1/2 yrs isnt a lifetime to wait, its a struggle, but doesnt forever seem far more wonderful if you knew that's all it would take? your choice dear.
its what you want today or what you want tomorrow. peace
2007-01-30 06:05:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I snapped the two bones in the two forearms in a mud motorbike crash approximately 10 years in the past. My motorbike bogged out on the bounce, so it did not propel me all a thank you to the landing ramp. nostril-wheel hit the decrease back of the landing ramp, so I went from 30mph to 0mph in 0 ft. I braced for result by way of clutching the grips tight, which ultimately became into what made my hands snap. Left hand touched my left elbow at one factor (which i'm oddly happy with). right forearm became into at a ninety degree attitude. known like i had 2 elbows. nonetheless supplies me the heebie geebies thinking approximately it lol
2016-12-13 04:35:42 · answer #7 · answered by trip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know what you need to do. tell him all of this. print it out ... and tell him. you're young. he's far away. you're spending all your money. you can't keep a job. not to mention you're unable to participate in any intimacy. perhaps the two of you can link back up when he returns home. always leave that as an option if you really do love him but can't be in a ld relationship right now. i know its hard but how are you to live happily if you can only focus on his happiness? You have to do you first! take care girl. hope it all works out:)
2007-01-30 05:58:17 · answer #8 · answered by msdrdn 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
So, it sounds like you want to break up with him and you're quite ready to do that, but his feelings are holding you back. I know that you care about him and love him...but you are first in a relationship. You have to protect yourself and your feelings. In fact, think about what you are doing to yourself by staying in the relationship. It can't be worse than what will happen to him if you guys break up.
2007-01-30 05:59:13 · answer #9 · answered by jerk19magnet 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If u really LOVE him, u should tell ur parents and move in with him. U know ur mom loves u too,so she probley wants u 2 be happy!
2007-01-30 06:00:06 · answer #10 · answered by Cindy C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the 5k-away guy is feeling the same way...have you considered talking to HIM about this?
2007-01-30 05:56:59 · answer #11 · answered by NEWTOME 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋