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And Lo! The journey must begin. Take not the wife of your brother's shepherd with you for she will taint the spoons of your household. And carry not anything that comes from the sea that is green, for if you do a great plague of locusts will engulf your household, and your shoes will split. As so befits a son of Ted, son of Todd, son of Rasta, you will take three reeds, one shorter than the other and one shorter still. Place the reeds under your left arm, for it is wicked. Wave goodbye with your right arm, for it is blessed. Do not turn your back on any tree or bush as you leave, for God created them. And he is a vengeful God.
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And Jesus said: There was once a farmer with three sons. All were leaving Jerusalem for the festival, but the man had only three reeds. "I will give you each a reed and you will place it under your left arm" said the farmer, "and you will wave goodbye with your right arm for that is a son's duty to his father", and the sons waved goodbye. Seeing this God was angry at the farmer. "I commanded three reeds. For this I will kill your sons!" he told the farmer and he readied to slay them, but the farmer begged God to spare them. Gold told him "You have begged and pleaded very well with me farmer, and I am a loving God, so I will spare you. And now for all time a man may wave goodbye with both hands and I will not strike him down. To mark this day I will give whiskers unto cats so that no man may forget this day". Jesus led his disciples to a market and told them "See, does not this cat have whiskers?"
2007-05-20
15:35:02
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19 answers
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asked by
Miltant_Agnostic
2