I am in the process of an Orthodox conversion. I made a vow last year that I would not touch a guy before marriage, besides maybe hand holding. Sex really confuses me. I have had sex before, and I was sexually abused as a child. I figured the best way to have a healthy sex life is to not have sex again until I am married.
I went to a YJAM shabbat get together yesterday. I found out that my vows are eaisier said than done. I noticed a pattern in myself that may have something to do with being sexually abused. When a cute guy talks to me, I notice myself throwing myself at him, figuratively speaking. Yesterday I didn't realize I was flirting until after the fact. This guy was talking to me, and he was soooo attractive.... I started to have naughty thoughts. I am glad I didn't touch him, and I'm glad I decided to go home after I realized I had been flirting. But the way I acted really scared me. It seems that the only way I can relate to guys is by sex.
2006-08-12
21:59:48
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17 answers
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asked by
LAGrrl
3