My girlfriend likes to play practical jokes on me. Just over an hour ago, she went too far.
I decided to take a midday nap. I was suddenly awoken from my slumber when I looked up and saw two naked buttcheeks hovering above my face. I tried to focus on what exactly was going on, as I was still groggy from just waking up. I became aware that he had her rear-end just inches from my open mouth, and was on top of me in the squatting position. She spread her buttocks with her palms, and released the loudest, wettest, foulest, stinkiest, most disgusting fart I've ever heard, smelled, or experienced in my life. I could tell it was wet because I could feel moist droplets splash up against my tongue and inner-cheek. The stench was unbearable and I was left in an absolute state of confusion. She walked out the door laughing at my demise.
I had to throw up at least twice already, and still feel like I may have to throw up again. It has been over an hour. Do you recommend that I see a doctor?
2007-08-20
10:47:27
·
10 answers
·
asked by
Anonymous
in
Military