My girlfriend likes to play practical jokes on me. Just over an hour ago, she went too far.
I decided to take a midday nap. I was suddenly awoken from my slumber when I looked up and saw two naked buttcheeks hovering above my face. I tried to focus on what exactly was going on, as I was still groggy from just waking up. I became aware that he had her rear-end just inches from my open mouth, and was on top of me in the squatting position. She spread her buttocks with her palms, and released the loudest, wettest, foulest, stinkiest, most disgusting fart I've ever heard, smelled, or experienced in my life. I could tell it was wet because I could feel moist droplets splash up against my tongue and inner-cheek. The stench was unbearable and I was left in an absolute state of confusion. She walked out the door laughing at my demise.
I had to throw up at least twice already, and still feel like I may have to throw up again. It has been over an hour. Do you recommend that I see a doctor?
2007-08-20 10:47:27 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Military
You should.
2007-08-23 00:05:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm....I dont' know if you need a doctor, it may not hurt to call. If she hasn't been sick or isn't currently carrying any infections you should be safe. However, she may be the one that needs to see a doctor, the mental kind. I'm certain this is a form of torture, actually this is the perfect category. Just think of it, we could feed our military whatever it was that your chica ate and they could use this as a way to get information from our enemies. I'm certain they will want to recruit her immediately so they can begin learning her methods. Good luck and thank her in advance for her service to our country.
2007-08-20 12:28:47 · answer #2 · answered by Brooke 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think Hurricane Dean will slow down to a Category 2 hurricane once it goes over the Yucatan, and will start to dissipate before it reaches mainland Mexico.
EDIT: I was wrong. Dean strengthened to a Category 5 when it went over the Yucatan.
2007-08-20 16:10:33 · answer #3 · answered by Rainbow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope she is now your ex-girlfriend. Seriously, if you ingested any fecal matter , you could be in for a very serious trip to the hospital.
If this continues, i would see a doctor, and I would also tell this ***** to get the f### out of my life forever. I would even consider calling the police.
2007-08-20 11:06:41 · answer #4 · answered by TedEx 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
And this has exactly what to do with the military?
DOs
6. Categorize correctly. Categorize your question in the appropriate category - you will receive better and more relevant answers.
See Community Guidelines.
2007-08-20 11:36:43 · answer #5 · answered by gugliamo00 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dude you're living your last breaths. That is what is known as the quif of death, Rest in Peace.
2007-08-20 11:24:10 · answer #6 · answered by Sea Horse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wellness care provider, wellness care provider am i able to have 2nd opinion? needless to say, come back day after today! wellness care provider, wellness care provider i've got broke my arm in 2 places properly do not flow back there back then! wellness care provider, wellness care provider, all and sundry retains ignoring me. next please! wellness care provider, wellness care provider I’ve misplaced my memory! whilst did this take place? whilst did what take place? wellness care provider, wellness care provider all and sundry thinks i'm a liar i will't have faith that!
2016-12-30 20:49:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, a Doctor of Fairy Tales.
Fairy Tales.
Get it?
2007-08-20 11:15:45 · answer #8 · answered by Too Old For Idol 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does this chick also chew toothpicks and roll her cigarettes up in her t-shirt sleeve?
2007-08-20 11:16:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is this in the military category? We don't care about your kinky games..........get a life!
2007-08-20 11:21:12 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋