General Health Care - September 2006

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

2006-09-21 07:28:24 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - General Health Care

What organ is located behind and directly above the belly button? Is it the stomach, large intestine, or something else?

2006-09-21 07:26:03 · 3 answers · asked by ? 6 in Pain & Pain Management

My wife wasn't feeling good and had diarhea but also there was this hard mass that was about the size of a grape with a long (about 2-3 inches) "tail" looking thing attached to it. It was purple-brown in color and had some white-yellowish mucus on it. It didn't look like anything she's ever eaten but it was too big to be a worm (that I know of).

Any thoughts?

2006-09-21 07:25:04 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - General Health Care

Since her diagnoises of arthritis the recliner is comfortable,doesnt sleep in a bed anymore.. She complains of pain,i tell her its the way she is hunched in that chair..am i high for suggesting this?
Please advise.

2006-09-21 07:21:45 · 8 answers · asked by gotanymore? 1 in Pain & Pain Management

I think i have have bi-polar disorder...what r the symptoms???

2006-09-21 07:21:39 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - General Health Care

and taken a leak in the fridge by mistake! or any other funny place?

2006-09-21 07:21:32 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - General Health Care

My hands have been shaking since I was little and I've been to the doctors and they couldn't come up with an answer. I had a heart murmur so would this make any difference? It gets a lot worse when I'm really nervous and I think it makes my writing a bit wobbly. Any ideas?

2006-09-21 07:21:10 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - General Health Care

I'm sleepy when I go to bed at 10 and when I wake up at 6:30 I'm sleepy and I'm sleepy and groggy all during the day. I never feel refreshed in the morning and almost never during the day. I always have these dark circles under my eyes. I can't take pills or consume alchohol, so please don't suggest that. Thank you.

2006-09-21 07:20:09 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - General Health Care

I place myself in the washing machine , on a delicate wash....

2006-09-21 07:18:26 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - General Health Care

2006-09-21 07:11:28 · 3 answers · asked by ad_ttm 1 in Injuries

2006-09-21 07:10:26 · 13 answers · asked by chris 1 in Other - General Health Care

HI
Amazing how come a lot of people are just answering questions just to answer or just to see who is the most STUPID.I asked a question earlier about keeping expired meds at home.and (almost)all I got it's hate or stupidity.
I speak english only since 3 years and I passed the TOEFL exam required by all good universities.at list i can speak french , english and spanish.What about you?
That's not a stupid question because laws are different between states.please see the "JCAHO Changes Related to High-Risk Medications"...AND YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THE RESPONSABILITY OF A HOMECARE NURSE CONCERNING THE PATIENT'S FAMILY EDUCATION.
If you Work for a homecare agency,YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE A SURVEY AT ANY TIME.EVEN IN A PATIENT HOME (if the family is ok with that of course)
I can confirm you that I'm a nurse and I passed my NCLEX with a score of 81%.you might find it in all the public records.My question is to know if i could be in trouble,not the family.Stop that stupid hate

2006-09-21 07:05:27 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - General Health Care

I need to go to the doctor but I feel lousy.I dont want to sit in a room full of sick little kids.What I have is chronic,. what they have is contaigous probly .so if doctors cant make house calls I think they should have two waiting rooms one for people with colds flu ect and one for people with diabetes ,epilepsy anything that doesnt spread.What do you think.

2006-09-21 06:52:44 · 12 answers · asked by butterflyspy 5 in Other - General Health Care

2006-09-21 06:38:01 · 2 answers · asked by JILLYMG1 1 in Other - General Health Care

sometimes my blood pressure gets low like 90/60. i know thats normal for some people, but i get very sleepy and feel weak when mine gets like that.

2006-09-21 06:34:09 · 5 answers · asked by HatesMondays 4 in Other - General Health Care

I am pretty young and I have a lot of wait on my shoulders. I have an apartment, a fiance, college, two jobs, and a baby on the way. Sometimes it feels like all of that wait is gonna crash down on me. I'm not looking for suicide prevention or anything...it's not like that. I just wanna here from other people that have tons of stress like me and how they deal with it because I'm having a lot of trouble dealing with mine.

2006-09-21 06:21:30 · 12 answers · asked by limpkornrock7 1 in Other - General Health Care

2006-09-21 06:16:39 · 7 answers · asked by JILLYMG1 1 in Other - General Health Care

not the steriod dose pack but an actual injection--did you think it helped?

2006-09-21 06:16:34 · 2 answers · asked by keepingthefaith 5 in Other - General Health Care

Have heard that this over the counter medication can help, Have tried quinine water but didn't get much relief.

2006-09-21 06:08:09 · 9 answers · asked by ethellou@sbcglobal.net 1 in Other - General Health Care

2006-09-21 06:05:34 · 7 answers · asked by angelic 2 in Other - General Health Care

veins that show on top of my skin, the leg area

2006-09-21 05:59:17 · 5 answers · asked by angelia w 1 in Other - General Health Care

Is hot tea a good solution? Sex? Masturbation?

2006-09-21 05:58:46 · 4 answers · asked by citizen ex 2 in Other - General Health Care

Cant seem to quit coughing

2006-09-21 05:53:01 · 8 answers · asked by sara l 1 in Other - General Health Care

2006-09-21 05:19:22 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - General Health Care

my finger started hurting 2 days ago and sometimes it hurts all the way down to the wrist..i played like 30 minutes of playstation 3 days ago and 2 days and just for 10 minutes yesterday..what can i do or take to prevent and heal it?? glucosamine? calcium? v e?

2006-09-21 05:16:36 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pain & Pain Management

I was rolling around on the mat during jiu-jitso, and somehow managed to hurt my little toe. I think it may have been the result of pushing my body weight off on my foot, and my foot moved, but the toe stayed in the same place.

It went numb at first and didnt really even hurt if i moved it around. It was sort of dangling off at a strange angle. Later, the angle fixed itself, and then the pain started. Now it is black and blue- almost halfway up my foot! I hear & feel some clicking if i try to move it.

So is it broken, sprained, dislocated, or what? Is there anything I can even do besides rest and taping it next to the other toe? Is there any point in icing it if i dont care if its swollen.

At least it doesnt hurt as much as my gout sometimes can!!

2006-09-21 05:14:28 · 6 answers · asked by mlinnj 1 in Injuries

Why is it that Doctors can't except the fact that they are Human Beings, and that they are not Perfect, that they can make Mistakes. and own up to those Mistakes?

2006-09-21 05:12:23 · 10 answers · asked by mr_nice_guy 1 in Other - General Health Care

2006-09-21 05:07:39 · 2 answers · asked by Jen in AR 1 in Other - General Health Care

At the moment the condition is in remision but I know it will come back. The only drug that controls it is carbamazepine which has side effects

2006-09-21 05:05:41 · 4 answers · asked by bwadsp 5 in Pain & Pain Management

2006-09-21 05:04:05 · 9 answers · asked by bw_r005t3r 2 in Other - General Health Care