Family & Relationships - 3 November 2006

I am at a new school and it isn't a middle school or high school or elemnetry school. They are all combined,so everyone has know each other for a very long time.This is my first year and the year began in august. I am a shy person so i don;t really have any good friends. I need help! (im in 9th grade)

2006-11-03 16:18:17 · 13 answers · asked by Hailey 2 in Friends

My bf said he doesn't feel the same any more as when we first started going out. Whenever I let him feel I love him so much he doesn't seem to be as interested in me as before. But when I show him I don't care, he's crazy about me. I'm really confused. What is it with him? Don't people like to hear "I love you"? But why does he behave the opposite way? Can you suggest something i can do to make him feel as new and fresh and excited as when we first started going out? Thanks a lot!

2006-11-03 16:17:06 · 8 answers · asked by little asian gal in cresent city 2 in Singles & Dating

I was in love with a beautiful woman for 14 years. Unfortunately, I got caught up in a bad job, heavy workload, stress and an abusive boss. My hours slowly began to increase over a 2 year period and I had to travel around the world. Over the past year I worked 16 hour days plus weekend work, conference calls along with being tied to a blackberry. I was trapped and did not know how to get out of it. I nearly died from the workload and stress. We needed my paycheck to pay for private school, my wife’s compulsive shopping for stuff, home repairs and improvements, dogs, vet bills, dog walkers and so on. My wife has a part-time job and I gave her total control over our finances when my son was born 9 years ago. She said it was a trust issue. During this time we spent everything that I made. In addition, my wife wanted to be independent and have a balance between career and being a mom. My salary fronted 3 different business ventures for her that all failed and cost us tens of thousands over the years.
I am ashamed of myself but under extreme stress I yelled at my son twice. I think I have yelled at him 5 times in 9 years. I also got close to my wife one day and raised my voice to her. I apologized later but she yelled at me for something and I don’t know what I was doing. I yelled at my wife maybe twice in our 13 years together. We used to kid each other about our families until one day she did not find it funny. I agreed we would not make fun of our families. Also, she said I made mean comments about them when in fact they were insensitive, they were not meant as mean. Things I said were “I wish I had time to go out for ice cream”
My wife claims she tried to get me out of my crisis, I remember just her yelling at me that I am never home and I would reply with what can I do for now. I did try looking for another job but I had to maintain a level of income to pay for the above. I spoke to a counselor who told me my wife has underdeveloped coping skills. She did what she knew how to under stress. I am sure she thought I was having an affair or I did not love my family. In fact, I have never really bought myself anything over the years, never hung out or took weekends with the guys and even gave up watching sports to be with them. Even though I was controlled by my job I was still doing it out of love and to give them a better life. The counselor informed me that my wife had to invent some reason for her depression because of her lack of coping skills. She had to come up with the reasons within parameters that allowed her to develop a course of action. During this time she never got a babysitter to take me out of the house to talk to me. Did not offer to come to my job and have lunch to see my environment. Never tried to get her family to watch my child and take me away for a weekend to talk me out of my crisis. I can understand, she probably thought she would learn something she did not want to know. She did not even suggest we go to counseling before she unleashed hell on me. In June she started to talk to me about my relationship with my son. I heard her and was working towards winding down my workload. I did not know she was in crisis. Two months later she calmly told me how she “checked out”, she lost her best friend and I had to work my way back into their lives. I got this and understood that I had to take control back over my life. Unfortunately, it was too late and now we are in marriage counseling. My wife says it will not work because she can’t get past the fact that I was mean and she can’t understand under extreme stress, people can act out of character.
My wife has a double standard, during our life together she struck me across the face twice. She has not done it since I warned her. While I was in my work frenzy she constantly yelled at our son and said, “You see how he is and you know why I yell”.
She exhibits periods of road rage and even tried to run over an old man that stole her parking space. All excusable because sometimes you do get mad; but I can’t.
The worse part, prior to her final conversation she plotted a specific course of action. She attempted to build a case and file a complaint against me as an abusive spouse. I dedicated my life to her and she tried to jeopardize my ability to see my son, future relationships and even potential employment. All because I worked myself into exhaustion and yelled at her once. When she could not get any independent parties to back this claim based on my actions she did something else. She posted an ad on the internet and began dating other men. After our talk and while I was working back into our relationship she was actively dating. Even in marriage counseling she was still dating. I found out by accident, she took time off from work, arranged for babysitters, tried to hook up while my son attended an event. I read all the emails. She slept with another man and I had to read all the details. She wrote terrible things about being married, that I was a violent man and that my son was a burden. Of course in between acting like a prostitute and just staying with me for the paycheck while she played the field. The married man she was involved with even offered to pay her for sex. She endangered the welfare of our child, she could have been stalked at home or beaten during one of her “meetings” and no one would know her whereabouts.
Anyway, I forgave her and took responsibility for this saying I created the conditions. She never said she was sorry. It looked like we were getting back together, still going to counseling and I even flushed my career. I told my employer that I was moving my family back to her home state. That’s when things changed, for the past 6 weeks she has administered an extreme emotional and psychological beating on me. All under the guise of that I am mean and she is afraid of me.

Am I really the mean one?

We have never told the counselor about her actions and behaviors. My wife likes to ask for advice from an online organization. She never tells them what she has done. I found her latest email, 2 days after I flushed my career she wrote them that she does not like me and would not even date me.

In our last session she basically said that she liked her life and I was security but she can’t get past my actions. She said she is afraid because she knows as a single mom she will start yelling at my son. I guess all I ever was to her is a paycheck.

I have come to my senses and I am both sad and mad. I intend to issue an ultimatum this week that I know my wife will reject. I don’t think I love her anymore and can’t believe she killed feelings I had for her that lasted this long. I am afraid of her and ashamed at what she has done and tried to do to me. Am I crazy for trying to give her a last chance? I keep thinking that if she gets her act together our lives will be even better. Am I just stupid and hopelessly in love? I am also afraid of how she will treat our son as she tries to land her next sugar daddy. She will have a hard time finding another me. I am in the 30% club, never cheated, never took for myself and always thought of their needs first. Should I change when I start my new life?

2006-11-03 16:16:54 · 21 answers · asked by zmanindc 1 in Marriage & Divorce

2006-11-03 16:16:16 · 16 answers · asked by julie327495 1 in Singles & Dating

2006-11-03 16:15:34 · 2 answers · asked by will d 1 in Singles & Dating

he's one of my best friends. we're in the ninth grade. he really likes me. i think he's amazing, but i just DON'T like him that way. i actually really like his verrrrrrrry attractive good friend. so how can handle this?? how can i NOT mess up this friendship?

2006-11-03 16:14:38 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

There is a boy i like his name is tevon and my friend used to like him but now she dosnot and on thursday he kept following me and my friend and he would always smile at me and wave and act really stupid around me but not around nodody else r those signs and we r really good friends and every time we would walk together to class somebody would always yell tevon got a girl firend and he would always smile

2006-11-03 16:14:29 · 7 answers · asked by lady_drama 3 in Friends

She tells you who to date and not date, she makes sure you're doing alright in school by asking every detail about homework, grades, courses, she criticizes everything you do, when you guys spend time together outside she questions what you're wearing, she practically orders for you in restaurants, when we cross streets she holds your hand, basically she acts like a mother to me.

I'm 22 and she's 29. I realize there's a big age gap. When I was a child, I thought, maybe when I'm over 18, she'll treat me like an adult. But that's not happening. I know that she does this because she loves me and cares for me, but there a lot of sisters who love their sisters and still treats them like adults. Little things like, telling me what to eat in restaurants is no big deal, but interferring with my dating life is crossing the line. We live in different cities, but when she comes over we're always arguing about something. I wish she could treat me like a friend instead of a "daughter".

2006-11-03 16:13:57 · 7 answers · asked by pureessence 2 in Family

do you guys like tuff girl or girly girls what do you want in a girl?

2006-11-03 16:13:23 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

When I first moved here, the first person I met was my boyfriend. We were inseparable and I didn't bother to make any other friends. He went to Iraq for a year, and I made a few friends, but nothing lasting. I really want some quality friends I can hang out with once in awhile. I go to college, but I'm a bit older than my classmates, and don't share the same interests (getting wasted daily). I'm not religious either, so church is not an option. Any other suggestions on how to meet nice, normal people?

2006-11-03 16:12:54 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Friends

So my friend at Sunday school, we have been friends for two years. Finally this year he completely ignores me! Like if I'm not even there! He ditched me to hang out with guys. What is going on?! either he wants to ahng with guys now, hates me for no reason, or he really is gay because he's been highly suspected of being gay by my other friends. What do you think?

2006-11-03 16:12:52 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous in Friends

Have you skipped dating for your kids sake, or did you feel like you needed to find someone to fill the void for your kids?

2006-11-03 16:12:45 · 3 answers · asked by Common Sense 5 in Marriage & Divorce

What body type do you prefer on a woman...............?

2006-11-03 16:11:55 · 6 answers · asked by Lauretha 3 in Singles & Dating

I don't have a choice about it either.
She makes me get on the ground first too.
I can't stand up to her and say no,
And I don't hate it,
So what should I do?

2006-11-03 16:11:48 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

u saw

2006-11-03 16:11:44 · 11 answers · asked by www.infowars.com 1 in Singles & Dating

I've had a couple opinions, but I'd like some more.

A girl has been saying hi to me often, every time that she sees me.
Her friends come up to me and ask me a couple of questions, and they occasionally ask me if they wanna work on hw together.

im not lookin for the relationship, but i dont like being a joke

She hasn't said much more than hi

But it gets weird, she'd say hi and just leave to talk to others, and say hi again 5 minutes later and leave.

2006-11-03 16:11:22 · 7 answers · asked by iban h 1 in Singles & Dating

Last night I went on a date with a girl and 3 hours into the date she wanted to have sex already. I told her it's too soon and we should wait. Am I being a dumbass for saying no to sex with a hot woman I just met?

2006-11-03 16:10:30 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

You know I read alot of questions on here and there are alot of 13 and 14 year old girls who talk about dating and sex and stuff. this is pretty pathetic. Where the hell are the parents?

2006-11-03 16:09:47 · 16 answers · asked by dragonshark1971 1 in Singles & Dating

Why did you cheat.
How did you meet.
Same or oppisite sex.
If you had kids together, did you think about them first.
Would you do it again.
Did you feel bad about it.

2006-11-03 16:09:33 · 3 answers · asked by Common Sense 5 in Other - Family & Relationships

the guy i like is a bit shy. we see eachother in the hallway alot and we just look at eachother in the eye and kind of smile at eachother. what should i say to him to break the ice??? his style is skater/football player

2006-11-03 16:09:04 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

i gotta baby gurl wit my ex and he dont want me talkin to no other ****** around her and he wants me to get back wit him but he used to beat the **** out of me and i dont know wat to do yall needs to help me

2006-11-03 16:08:38 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

2006-11-03 16:07:43 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

me? Tonight will be my last night for a while, and I just want to say that even though I do not know any of you, I love you all and will miss each and everyone of you; even the dumb a**es. HaHa! I will answer a few more questions, but after that it will be GOOD BYE.

2006-11-03 16:07:38 · 19 answers · asked by lifescircle 5 in Marriage & Divorce

Its been 7 months since I know this guy who approached me online. Been talking on the phone & texting each other regularly. Our 1st meet up was 3 wks ago and so far we've only met twice.

We've been really friendly with each other & sometimes flirtatious, calling each other "baby, dear, darling & princess" in our texts. We talked about lots of stuff & often spend hours on the phone.

He's mentioned before that I'm a girl he cares enormously for, & that he wish to surprise me often in this friendship. He's a really nice guy & I'm starting develop a crush.

I'm leaving for overseas studies soon & he will be too (but later than me). Same country, different states. I've been real nervous about it & he asked if I'll feel better if he goes over with me for a few days? I said yes but that its quite a crazy thing to do.

Recently he told me not to be so nice to him & when I asked why? He said he don't wanna go there.

Is he being the friendly person he is or is there more? Btw, we're both 20.

2006-11-03 16:07:25 · 7 answers · asked by le_stats 1 in Singles & Dating

its kinda of hard to see if she likes me or not. she never wants to talk(examples like aol and myspace). And when she is around me she is shy. but when she is with her friends she isnt as shy, mind you she still doesnt say anything to me.

2006-11-03 16:07:08 · 5 answers · asked by Oron 4 in Singles & Dating

younger or older men?

2006-11-03 16:06:55 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

Ok, my friend that is a year older, is quiet and likes paintball, but i do not! I am more of the coffee house, read poetry type of person but that is not him so i need advice on where to hang out with him and what to talk to him about.

2006-11-03 16:06:24 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Friends

When going on a first date do you think any kissing or hugging should be involved? Or do you think its inappropirate at that time, because your getting to know each other. And getting to know each other in a kissing, hugging way can take time for some people, like me.

2006-11-03 16:05:42 · 23 answers · asked by Kalah E 1 in Singles & Dating

My friends were talking about a younger man and older woman couple. They said that he is the best thing that has ever happened to her. What do they mean by thing? Sex? Company?

2006-11-03 16:05:33 · 12 answers · asked by carol 1 in Singles & Dating

I like this girl in my grade and im fairly certain she likes me too, but I have no idea what to say to her or where we would go on a date. I don't even totally know how I would start a conversation with her.

2006-11-03 16:04:51 · 6 answers · asked by fatttypants 2 in Singles & Dating