Jokes & Riddles - November 2006

a rich guy won $100,000,000,000 in the lottery and buried it in his back porch.next day he dug it up and it was gone. he saw footsteps leading from the hole to his neighbors house.then he remembered the guy was deaf so he called his boss across the street to come help him.
rich guy: tell him to hand over the money or ill shoot him.
theif neighbor: (speaking to boss in sign language) the money is buried under my tree in my backyard.
boss: umm.... he said he doesnt want to give u the money. he said hed rather die first.

2006-11-11 06:16:46 · 26 answers · asked by Tallie 1

Five teen girls get lost in a cornfield on the way to a concert. There's this crazy guy who cut open his stomach and stuffed it with hay who lerks the confields. 2 of the girls look around, one dies the other gets lost. The younger sister goes to look for the 2 girls. One of the girls at the campsite hears a noise and looks around and dies the other girl at the camp gets chased by the killer then dies. The sisters find out the killer is a crazy, old farmer. They find him and try to kill him. They set the barn on fire with the killer and the sister inside. The killer and the sister die. The girl who survived goes crazy and cuts open her stomach and stuffs it with hay and becomes the next killer.

2006-11-11 06:16:35 · 11 answers · asked by Matt R 1

two guys are sitting around watching aboxing match, They see one of the boxers, bend down to pray,before his match
The one guy asked the other guy what good is it pray before the match?
the other guy said.."it does no good if you can't box"!

My husband thinks this is hilarious,, am I the only one who does not?

2006-11-11 06:02:54 · 19 answers · asked by junebaby 2

a man walks into a restaurant and orders chili. " sorry the man next to u got the last bowl", said the waiter. the man looks over and saw tht the guy next to him had a full bowl. "are u goin to eat tht '' he asked. "no go ahead", said the guy next to him. so the man started eating until he got halfway down and hit a dead rat. he vomited the chili bk into the bowl. "yeah thts about how far i got too.",said the guy next to him

2006-11-11 06:00:53 · 16 answers · asked by Tallie 1

1) One day Kerry celebrated her birthday. Two days later her older twin brother, Terry, celebrated his birthday. How come?
_______________________________________

2) If it were two hours later, it would be half as long until midnight as it would be if it were an hour later. What time is it now?

2006-11-11 05:55:03 · 5 answers · asked by msdrosi 3

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.
The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"
The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain
is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"
The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband."

2006-11-11 05:52:04 · 26 answers · asked by Pd 6

Can anyone please be so kind as to give me the answer to level 27 in the Zest Online Riddle. I have truthfully been stuck on this level for almost a month and it's driving me insane. O_O

Any and all help is greatly appreciated. <3

2006-11-11 05:38:18 · 6 answers · asked by sorrowful_seranade 2

after creating man???

2006-11-11 05:35:13 · 20 answers · asked by crash 2

abusing their right to report someone for abuse without appearing to be abusing my right to report someone for abusive use of the right to report abuse? Or would they report me for abusive use of my right to report their abusive use of reporting abuse?

2006-11-11 05:32:46 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

whats the answer to the riddle

2006-11-11 05:19:04 · 2 answers · asked by biggrizz2006 1

2 girls are at their mother's funeral, and a man walks into the funeral parlor. One of them falls in love with him and kills her sister the next day. Why?

2006-11-11 05:09:57 · 23 answers · asked by vino_sugunan 1

2006-11-11 05:08:10 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

what do you call a dog with 3 legs?

2006-11-11 05:02:55 · 17 answers · asked by junebaby 2

I wished to know in which cell the prisoner was held, so I asked six prison warders. I knew that there were 20 cells in the prison.

These were their answers:

A said, "It was odd."

B said, "It was even."

C said, "It was double digits."

D said, "It had at least one number 1 in it."

E said, "It was a multiple of 3."

F said, "It was between 6 and 13."

But one had lied. Which cell is it?

2006-11-11 04:54:05 · 19 answers · asked by Lesley 2

would you pls go to this link and answer this survey? i trust you will like it and pls rate it with a thumbs up or thumbs down.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20061111090606AAwKLRm&r=w

thanks =)

2006-11-11 04:52:33 · 5 answers · asked by §èxÿtàmmý ® 5

How quickly can you find out what is unusual about this paragraph? It looks so ordinary that you would think that nothing was wrong with it at all, and in fact, nothing is. But it is unusual. Why? If you study it and think about it you may find out, but I am not going to assist you in any way. You must do it without coaching. No doubt if you work at it for long, it will dawn on you. I don't know. Now, go to work and try your luck.

2006-11-11 04:44:47 · 34 answers · asked by imaginenolifeatall 1

sorting out worthwhile questions and getting correct answers and avoiding crappy and obscene language/jokes on WQA is getting more and more difficult?

2006-11-11 04:33:47 · 6 answers · asked by pasky 2

why does my avatar look like it's holding a gun? I suppose it's supposed to be a cell phone.... And my hair is all wrong-- They give several choices, but wow-- it' not like my hairstyle is from another planet-- But nothing looks like me, so I chose a hat-- Now it DEFINITELY doesn't look like me-- Anyone else have this happen? Okay, not a world-altering issue, but can't a sista get a decent hairstyle? D a m n . *big smile* So who else is in the mood to have a few laughs and give some decent answers today? -- I might even ask another question or two-- I have been posting with no avatar for a while and I felt like some creepy guy (girl) just posting anonymous stuff, hiding being a grey smiley-face. Kind of like that two-frame cartoon they had a while back--Anyone else see it? In the first frame was a guy with a smiley-face head, and his boss sits at his desk and thinks, "I'll never have to worry about Bob"--2nd frame, they show 'Bob' from the back, and attached to him is a burning wick...

2006-11-11 04:30:41 · 7 answers · asked by BetchaBiteAChip 2

Cos its not big and its not clever

2006-11-11 04:20:09 · 24 answers · asked by dope 1

A little old couple prepares to go to bed. They no sooner hit the pillows when the old man farts and says, "Seven Points." His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man replied, "its fart Rugby."

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, "Try and conversion - 7points each".

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, "Penalty - 10 to 7." Not to be outdone, the wife rips out another one and says, "Penalty 10 each."

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Drop goal, I lead 13 to 10."

Now the pressure is on the old man. He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard, but to no avail. Realising a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally he craps in the bed. The wife says, "What the hell was that?"

The old man says, "Half time, change sides."

2006-11-11 04:13:56 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

fill in the blank

2006-11-11 04:11:46 · 15 answers · asked by aequus_bellum 2

up to his chest in a snow drift. Do need a lift there Mick?. No thanks Paddy I'm on my bike!!!!!!!!

2006-11-11 04:04:38 · 14 answers · asked by Shredder 6

Imagine you are in a room with 3 switches. In an adjacent room there are 3 bulbs (all are off at the moment), each switch belongs to one bulb. It is impossible to see from one room to another. How can you find out which switch belongs to which bulb, if you may enter the room with the bulbs only once?

2006-11-11 03:55:54 · 14 answers · asked by msdrosi 3

Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school were both virgins; they enjoyed losing their virginity with each other in 10th grade. When they graduated, they both wanted to go to the same college but the girl was accepted to a college on the east coast, and the guy went to the west coast. They agreed to be faithful to each other and spend any time that they could together.

As time went on, the guy would call the girl and she would never be home, and when he wrote, she would take weeks to return the letters. Even when he e-mailed her, she took days to return his messages.

Finally, she confessed to him she wanted to date around. He didn't want to do this and increased his calls, letters, and e-mails trying to win back her love. After a while she became annoyed, and because she now had a new boyfriend, she wanted to get him off her back.

So, what she did is this: She took a polaroid picture of her, sucking her new boyfriend's penis, while almost naked and sent it to her old boyfriend with a note reading, "I found a new boyfriend, leave me alone."

Well, needless to say this guy was heartbroken, but even more so, he was pissed. So, what he did next was awesome.

He wrote on the back of the photo the following, "Dear Mom and Dad, having a great time in college, please send more money!" and mailed the picture to her parents.

2006-11-11 03:55:05 · 13 answers · asked by Citizen 1

that a man does standing, and a woman does sitting down?

2006-11-11 03:49:46 · 22 answers · asked by ibboomer 1

mate on his way to the market. Mick says what's in the sack over your shoulder Paddy. Ducks says Paddy I'm going to sell them in town. Mick says "if I can guess how many youv'e got can I have one?. Tell you what says Paddy if your'e right you can have both of them!!!!!!. Right says Mick three!!!!!!!!!

2006-11-11 03:47:37 · 13 answers · asked by Shredder 6

2006-11-11 03:47:06 · 8 answers · asked by Kala s 1

Joe was not a very romantic person, and furthermore he was rather stupid. But he wanted to impress his wife, so he took her out for an anniversary dinner and watched the couples around them, following their leads.

He observed the couple next to him. The man lifted a sugar shaker towards his wife’s cup and said, "Sugar, sugar?" Joe thought this was great and continued to listen around the dining room.

Another table over Joe observed the following. A man spooned out some honey out of a bowl for his wife and asked, "Honey, honey?" Again Joe thought this was good stuff.

Finally, he cut off a piece of his meat, stared longingly into his young wife’s eyes and said, "Ham, pig

2006-11-11 03:43:35 · 23 answers · asked by Citizen 1

A couple had been married for 25 years and was celebrating the husband's 60th birthday.

During the party, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each.

The wife said, "We've been so poor all these years, and I've never gotten to see the world. I wish we could travel all over the world." The fairy waved her wand and POOF! She had the tickets in her hand.

Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, and then said, "Well, I'd like to be married to a woman 30 years younger than me."

The fairy waved her wand and POOF! He was 90.

2006-11-11 03:42:18 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

What i would like to know is how the fool and his money got together in the first place.........

2006-11-11 03:35:31 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous