All categories - 21 December 2007

ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659---CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused when on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.

The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition.

She sat under a sweets sign that said: "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned.

Then she moved and sat under a sign that said: "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile.

Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself.

BUT, your Honour, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"... I just lost it."

"CASE DISMISSED!!"

2007-12-21 09:49:50 · 25 answers · asked by tastybits 7 in Jokes & Riddles

I'm 19 and just got back into baseball recently. I'm practicing to become a pitcher and have been throwing about 2-3 times a week at 40-50 full speed pitches for each practice, plus warm ups and half speed pitches. I have been doing this for about a month and a half now so my arm is loose and strong enough to begin an official weekly pitching routine.

What would you recommend. Like out of 7 days how many days should i throw, and how many each time and at what speed. I'm 6'3 190, so I'm a big kid. Like if I threw 3 time a week at 50 full speed pitches each time would that be too little or too much. Any other suggestions.

2007-12-21 09:49:49 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

I met this girl yesterday in some 2 day class I had to take, we kind of hit it off and we were flirting all day and today. I want to hang out with her more and am about to send her a text saying "hey we should hang out sometime aight ur a pretty cool grl." Does that sound too 'nice?'

2007-12-21 09:49:30 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

Im at uni and have a pt job but its not enough.
has anyone done this job, is it hard? does it mess you up?

2007-12-21 09:49:21 · 19 answers · asked by Patricia 3 in Singles & Dating

I just bought a new laptop, now I'm not use to them, I know my laptop has that wireless card in it, that where if I bought wireless net, It will work in my house, but I was curious, is there anyway it will work without range of my home? like is there any accessories I can buy that will make it where I could be anywhere and I can just log on to the internet? like I said I am new to these computers so sorry lol, I was curious if anyone new? becuase I wanted to take it to like my cousins and places like that but still be able to log on the net, so how could I do that? I have a wireless service through AT&T right now.

2007-12-21 09:48:52 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Laptops & Notebooks

My ex and I spit 1 yr ago. I have primary custody of our kids.
The problem is when my ex comes to pick up our son, my son wont go with him, he screams that he doesnt want to go. My ex told me that I had to get him, I got my son from the bedroom as he was screaming,kicking and pulling my hair and grabbing on to the fridge so he woudnt have to go. Why is he doing this? Can I tell my ex that if my son doesnt want to go he doesnt have to?

2007-12-21 09:48:51 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Toddler & Preschooler

about 2 stone

2007-12-21 09:48:42 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

any ideas for a tasty snack?

2007-12-21 09:48:28 · 16 answers · asked by max 4 in Other - Food & Drink

As Congress flees Washington for the Christmas break, it is time to issue report cards for the new Democratic leadership. We could be generous and give them an “Incomplete” but an “F” would be more accurate.

Most striking was the Democrats utter failure to live up to the key promise of their 2006 campaign: “ending the war in Iraq.”

Guantanamo remains open and operational - F.

Federal funding of embryonic stem cell research - F.

Elimination of secret ballots for union elections - F.

Even the pettiest of goals --working five days a week -- could not be achieved - F.

Wouldn't pass an immigration bill - F.

Didn't secure the borders - F.

Voting rights for District of Columbia - F.

Renewed the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act , after promising that they would not - F.

Unsuccessful in achieving items both small and large on their agenda - F.

This was not what the Democrats had in mind - or promised their Leftwing base.

2007-12-21 09:48:28 · 16 answers · asked by Bubba 6 in Politics

2007-12-21 09:48:07 · 18 answers · asked by carboncruncher 2 in Religion & Spirituality

I don't hug many people and save them up for weddings and funerals, do you hug a lot?

2007-12-21 09:48:07 · 47 answers · asked by ? 5 in Polls & Surveys

My father just saw something for the first time in his life (63). He said it was huge with a tail of fire. Anyone ele have something?

2007-12-21 09:48:04 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Mythology & Folklore

If you kiss him, you are easy
If you don't, you are frigid
If you praise him, he thinks you are fake
If you don't, he thinks you are ungrateful
If you agree to all his likes, you are submissive
If you don't, you are controling
If you visit him often, he thinks you're desperate
If you don't, he thinks you're not interested
If you are well dressed, he says you are vain
If you don't, you are a dog
If you are jealous, he say's you're possessive
If you're not, then he fools around
If you attempt a romance, he say's you are cheap
If you don't, he thinks you are cold
If you are a minute late, he says you are fussy
If he is late, he says you're impatient
If you visit another man, you are fooling around
If he is visited by another woman, "oh we're just friends"
If you kiss him once in a while, he says you're too shy
If you kiss him often, he says you're too forward
If he fails to help you in crossing the street, he brings up the feminist movement
If he does, he expects to be rewarded
If you stare at another woman, he says you're jealous
If he is stared by other men, boy, you're in big trouble..
If you talk, it's always too much
If you listen, it's never enough

In short:

So complex, yet so predictable
So macho, yet so sensitive (usually to their own feelings)
So confusing, yet so funny
but most of all,
So irritating, yet so irresistible

...MEN!

2007-12-21 09:47:45 · 24 answers · asked by tastybits 7 in Jokes & Riddles

Regards from Mexico!

2007-12-21 09:47:38 · 9 answers · asked by Gato Persa 2 in Elections

Decisions decisions....

2007-12-21 09:47:36 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Politics & Government

2007-12-21 09:47:35 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I'm a guitar instructor and I have to teach a student Christian songs, but all of them are excrutiatingly horrible. Any suggestions?

2007-12-21 09:47:23 · 9 answers · asked by jude7265 4 in Rock and Pop

Well, I'm going to the vet next week to get her ears flushed, we already made the apointment. What I was wondering is if there's anything I can do to give her some "temporary" relief now? I don't think I should use a qtip, cause that would just push the wax in deeper wouldn't it? Do you guys have any suggestions? Thanks so much! :) She is a lab and she's almost 7 years old. Thank you. ((My boyfriend's dog, this is kind of new to me)).

2007-12-21 09:47:19 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Dogs

I am done my Christmas shopping but i just need to my my 4 chilren each a big gift my limit is 100 dollars on the big gift.
Her is whats my childern are like,

Karren- Karren is 4 years old.She Spends most of her time playing barbies or outside.

Jessica- Jessica is also four. She enjoys playing barbies and whatching the tree house channel.

Billy-Billy is a bob the builder boy. He loves playing with tractors and pretending to be famus. He is also Four.

Robbie - Is 5 years old. He just started school so i want to get him something educational. He enjoys school and spider man.

2007-12-21 09:47:07 · 21 answers · asked by Melissa R 2 in Grade-Schooler

Okay so I've finally saved enough money to buy a new Katana II from Sprint since my old phone broke. The phone is worth is $249.99, and I have $254 dollars saved up right now. How much would they charge me in total if I went to the Sprint store and charged me for it right now? What kind of other fees would I have to pay? I know I can avoid most fees if I just buy it online, but how long would it take to come in the mail if I did?
Thank you, Im planning on buy this phone either tomorrow or Monday by the way.

P.S: I live in New Jersey btw sales tax here is 6 or 7% I think.

2007-12-21 09:47:00 · 2 answers · asked by kojiharmony 2 in Personal Finance

its for school..
so thanks
:)
and also leave a name..doesnt have to be your real one..

2007-12-21 09:46:50 · 25 answers · asked by BOOM, roasted. 7 in Polls & Surveys

2007-12-21 09:46:49 · 24 answers · asked by Just Nik 7 in Polls & Surveys

Well, are there any really nice, free photoshops I can download?

2007-12-21 09:46:49 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Software

2007-12-21 09:46:43 · 2 answers · asked by privateaccessonly 2 in United States

should I get the special Zelda box for Christmas or one by its self. I want the zelda one becuase i like the color and it's one of my favorite types of games. I want to know if it is worth it? Is it? Should i get the one with out the game?

2007-12-21 09:46:32 · 5 answers · asked by J 3 in Nintendo Wii

scientific answers or otherwise....I'm just curious.

2007-12-21 09:46:23 · 5 answers · asked by pixelpunk 2 in Non-Alcoholic Drinks

Is this a nice school? A good business school? tell me what you think of this school in philadelphia, penn. Is it in the ghetto?

2007-12-21 09:46:09 · 5 answers · asked by alexa 1 in Higher Education (University +)

2007-12-21 09:46:06 · 11 answers · asked by sandra 2 in Credit

I have to make and design a T-shirt for my AP Calc class. It's supposed to "show effort" and be creative, funny, innovative, and/or witty. Being not exactly a creative person, I am totally stuck. Please help?

2007-12-21 09:46:00 · 11 answers · asked by trinity l 1 in Mathematics

A neutron, proton and electron are all in similar but separate orbits around an uncharged black hole. Assume no interaction with any other matter and the neutron does not decay, which would fall first into the black hole and why?

2007-12-21 09:45:59 · 10 answers · asked by Frst Grade Rocks! Ω 7 in Physics