Men are complex creatures?

Question

If you kiss him, you are easy
If you don't, you are frigid
If you praise him, he thinks you are fake
If you don't, he thinks you are ungrateful
If you agree to all his likes, you are submissive
If you don't, you are controling
If you visit him often, he thinks you're desperate
If you don't, he thinks you're not interested
If you are well dressed, he says you are vain
If you don't, you are a dog
If you are jealous, he say's you're possessive
If you're not, then he fools around
If you attempt a romance, he say's you are cheap
If you don't, he thinks you are cold
If you are a minute late, he says you are fussy
If he is late, he says you're impatient
If you visit another man, you are fooling around
If he is visited by another woman, "oh we're just friends"
If you kiss him once in a while, he says you're too shy
If you kiss him often, he says you're too forward
If he fails to help you in crossing the street, he brings up the feminist movement
If he does, he expects to be rewarded
If you stare at another woman, he says you're jealous
If he is stared by other men, boy, you're in big trouble..
If you talk, it's always too much
If you listen, it's never enough

In short:

So complex, yet so predictable
So macho, yet so sensitive (usually to their own feelings)
So confusing, yet so funny
but most of all,
So irritating, yet so irresistible

...MEN!

Answer 1

and you love us to pieces

Answer 2

If you kiss me, That's great!
If you don't, you are a friend
If you praise me, I'm grateful
If you don't, I think you are ungrateful
If you agree to all my likes, you are perfect!
If you don't, you are your own person
If you visit me often, i think you're fun
If you don't, I think you got your own sh*t to do
If you are well dressed, I say you are hot & classy
If you don't, you are comfy and laid-back
If you are jealous, I say you're normal
If you're not, then I appreciate it
If you attempt a romance, I say, "you beat me to it"
If you don't, I think you are in for a good surprise
If you are a minute late, I say you are normal
If he is late, I say sorry
If you visit another man, you are visting a friend
If he is visited by another woman, "we're just friends"
If you kiss him once in a while, I understand you're shy
If you kiss him often, I appreciate each one
If he fails to help you in crossing the street, I apologize and remember todo it next time
If he does, I know i've done my job
If you stare at another woman, I say you're female
If he is stared by other men, I'm creeped out.
If you talk, i'm always there to listen
If you listen without talking, I'll be shocked

Answer 3

Hello Elizabet!! Being a man I didn't really agree with you but now after going through all abovementioned 31 lines( or facts, whatsoever you call them) i hereby compelled to doubt in myself and all men along with me. Anyhow,as a matter of fact the lines/facts written by you can be used as guidelines to research about creatures called men. You should really be rewarded for them and if so!! i will the first one to vote for that.

Answer 4

haha very good and writen by a woman............but this is my take ....also writen by a woman............



MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE



What do you expect from such simple creatures?



Your last name stays put
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never get pregnant.
Y ou can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
Hell, you can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress: $5000.00. Tux rental: $100.00.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is not only appreciated by your friends, but practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes.

Answer 5

we men aren't complex its just women who tend to over complicate matters.Men on the whole are quite logical and straight forward creatures of habit and tend to think with the head where as women tend to think with their emotions and heart and this can differ from day to day minute to minute,and often during an argument,second to second which tends to lead to some very strange answers,attitudes,and decisions that doesn't make it an easy task at times in simply just having a coversation.

Answer 6

Lol how right you are.But we still love them,here have a star and a Blessed Xmas to you and all your loved ones.xxx

Answer 7

no this is wrong i don't mind i just like it to be normal what the person girl is like then it is ok i don't have rules what they have to do or not or judge them like that neither do other guys this is wrong its good though

Answer 8

wuu-hoooo, it's high time someone opens the eyes of those X chromosomes! cheers, mumson45, how right you are ;-)

Answer 9

Too true!!

10/10 + * for you!!

Answer 10

i like the way you turned all that around