I dread starting high school, more than ever, probably because I haven't made any significent progress in any area of life. I was more of a profilic writer at age twelve than I am now, though now my ideas are probably a little less worthless since life experience makes them less hollow. But, alas, the writer's block will now cease. Intellectually, I'm probably more capable and more apt at processing things but I have zero willpower and never do anything. Which depresses me greatly, but I have no initiative or motivitation.
I am definitely not where I wanted to be at 14 (turning fourteen on the 13th). Not that I consciously thought 'I will be good at such and such when I'm 14', but I did think, subconsciously, that I'd have made some progress. Depressing.
I suppose I'll just stop moaning and do something (though I'm not sure how to do this!). See, it's an endless cycle of being unproductive, realizing I'm unproductive, being depressed about it, and going back to being unproductive.
2006-08-10
15:00:36
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