Senior Citizens

Can you tell me if I can freeze home made egg noodles. Or if not how long can I keep them after I make them?

2007-11-14 06:41:57 · 6 answers · asked by Anne2 7

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. " Tie me up, " she purred, " and you can do anything you want. "

So he tied her up and went golfing.

**************************************...

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, " Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery! "

The husband said, " Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff? " " Doesn't matter, " she said. " Just get out. "

**************************************...

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

2007-11-14 06:41:43 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he

was God and I didn't.

2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the- room-spinning

medicine.

12. God must love stupid people; He made so many. (This is my personal

favorite and one I have often used!)

13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

18. Procrastinate Now!

19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand

times the memory.

26. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for

a pig.

27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on

2007-11-14 06:39:19 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-11-14 05:45:34 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous

One of the reasons that the WebMD message boards are so successful is because medical providers are not doing their job. There is nothing more frustrating for a patient than (a) not knowing their diagnosis, (b) not having their treatment explained, and (c) not knowing their prognosis (when they would expect to get better). If your medical provider is NOT doing this at every visit, then you will be left hanging in limbo.

WebMD >Read More
http://blogs.webmd.com/all-ears/2007/11/dont-let-your-medical-provider-lie-to.html?ecd=wnl_day_111407

2007-11-14 05:32:50 · 17 answers · asked by kayboff 7

I want to make my mom a microwavable neck and shoulder wrap for christmas (not just the neck wrap) but I can't find a pattern. Does anyone know where I can find a pattern and is there anything I can fill it with besides rice?

2007-11-14 05:32:15 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

There was a question here and it indicated that someone may not be so nice. Why is that question gone, how does that process work and why would that be done? Free speech goes by the wayside here?

2007-11-14 05:24:54 · 7 answers · asked by Grace 5

All the adult kids seem to be getting on the band wagon for these TV's. Of course the grandkids enjoy playing their video games on them. I have been of the opinion that it wasn't for me even if we felt we could afford it.
But then again I rebeled against getting a microwave or cell phone for years. Now I use both daily. Not so much the cell phone except for staying in touch w/ family when away from the house. Reminds of the days of CB's. Even those days I'd turn it off cuz I needed peace, quiet, and didn't want to be found.
I understand sports fans wanting to see up close and personal although I for one don't need to feel like their sweat is going to drip on me at any minute.
But this old fashioned lady has thought some excellent movies might be great on the big screen. So do you have one? Would you want one?

2007-11-14 05:22:21 · 30 answers · asked by Southern Comfort 6

I'm 63. I've enjoyed working these last few years once I got jobs I enjoyed and didn't have family responsibilities. I'm healthy except for arthritis. Recently quit my job due to unacceptable company policies. Now it's been a couple of months. I'm thinking about finding a full time job again rather than retire. What was the deciding point for you to finally stop working?

2007-11-14 04:58:46 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

I don't. Just wondering about the rest of you.

2007-11-14 04:52:11 · 59 answers · asked by Lady G 6

http://www.people.com/people/package/gallery/0,,20154290_20159879,00.html

Matt Damon doesn't do anything for me. Bring back Sean Connery!

2007-11-14 04:51:18 · 55 answers · asked by Lady G 6

I'm in the good old USA and Thanksgiving is a big deal here. I'll be cooking the traditional turkey, dressing, pumpkin pie, etc. dinner for my family. I know some of the other people on YA are from other countries. I was curious about what all of you have planned for Turkey Day.

2007-11-14 03:03:10 · 25 answers · asked by Miz D 6

and she asked has eny one ever got eny free things from Yahoo?and i was wondering have you ever got eny thing free from them? i did i got a yahoo magnet about a year ago.but that was all.

2007-11-14 02:43:02 · 20 answers · asked by alcaholicdemon 7

You can mention names or not.......Example: Wally intrigues me by his sense of humor and even though his life is not easy, he doesn't let it show or get him down.....There are so many for me....The thoughtfulness of everyone one on here......I could name something about everyone......You can name a person or as whole Group........

2007-11-14 02:38:43 · 24 answers · asked by Melissa R 4

Three men were discussing aging at the nursing home.

"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old. You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!"

"Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you can't even crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"

"Actually," said the 80-year-old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."

"Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year- old.

"No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."

"Do you have trouble crapping?" "No, I crap every morning at 6:30."

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so tough about being 80?"

"I don't wake up until 7:00."

2007-11-14 02:14:24 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone."

Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and
demand an apology.

Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, “Now, just a minute, listen to my side of the story. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. Because of the my tardiness I skipped breakfast as I hurried out to my car, that's when I realized that I had locked the house with both house and car keys inside the house. Therefore, I had to break a window to get my keys. Then, driving a little too fast, I was awarded a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire. When I finally arrived at the store a bunch of people was waiting for me to open up.

I opened the store and began waiting on customers, all the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook. At this point, I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels and the phone was still ringing. When I raised up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which caused me to stagger backwards into a perfume showcase holding several bottles of perfume. Half of the bottles fell to the floor and broke.

Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.


....And believe me mister, God as my witness, all I did was answer
her question.

2007-11-14 01:19:04 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have a job interview this morning at 9:45 at Lowe's. My background is in social service but I'm kinda burned out at this point. I've done some of my own home repair stuff like painting, plastering, hanging picture rail molding, laying a ceramic tile floor, kitchen cabinet refinishing, taping and mudding sheet rock etc.....you get the idea...a do it yourselfer...sort of. I'm a 59 year old woman that would really like the opportunity to give this a shot. I need advice and encouragement....thanks

2007-11-14 00:11:27 · 19 answers · asked by yoga guy 4

And why? Not movie stars.

2007-11-13 23:41:46 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous

The CIA is considering three men to be hired. They bring them in
to speak with the interviewer separately.
The first man comes in and sits down. The interviewer asks him,
"Do you love your wife?"
"Yes I do, sir."
"Do you love your country?"
"Yes I do, sir."
"Which do you love more, your wife or your country?"
"My country, sir."
"Okay. We brought in your wife. Take this gun, go into the next
room and kill her."
The man goes into the room, and all is silent for about 5 minutes.
He comes back, with his tie loosened and he is all sweaty. He puts
down the gun and leaves.
The second guy comes in and sits down. The interviewer asks him
the same questions, and the responses are the same. The interviewer
gives him a gun, and tells him to go kill his wife. The guy puts the
gun down and says "I can't do it..."

2007-11-13 23:07:44 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPp0g0A_6x8

2007-11-13 22:51:52 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man walks into a New York City bank and says he wants to borrow $2,000 for three weeks. The loan officer asks him what kind of collateral he has. The man says "I've got a Rolls Royce -- keep it until the loan is paid off -- here are the keys." The loan officer promptly has the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping, and gives the man $2,000.

Three weeks later the man comes into the bank, pays back the $2,000 loan, plus $10 interest, and regains possession of the Rolls Royce. The loan officer asks him, "Sir, if I may ask, why would a man who drives a Rolls Royce need to borrow two thousand dollars?"

The man answers, "I had to go to Europe for three weeks, and where else could I store a Rolls Royce for that long for ten dollars?"

2007-11-13 22:41:47 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

And what song do they sing.

2007-11-13 22:28:43 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

“This is a non-smoking flight. Anyone caught smoking in the washroom or anywhere else while in-flight will be asked to leave the airplane immediately.”
“Thank you for flying Westjet. I hope our airline has met your expectations. If not, you definitely should lower your expectations before flying with us again.”
On a Continental Flight with a very senior flight attendant crew, the pilot said, “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.”
On landing the stewardess said, “Please be sure to take all your belongings. If you’re going to leave anything please make sure it’s something we’d like to have.”
“There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only four ways out of this airplane.”
“Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

2007-11-13 22:18:50 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-11-13 21:24:11 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-11-13 15:52:59 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-11-13 15:28:19 · 37 answers · asked by Wickwire 5

Okay, your next grandchild if you don't want to play "the next child" game with me.

A boy:
A girl:

2007-11-13 15:20:36 · 27 answers · asked by Wickwire 5

Have you been affected by the current TV (and screen) writers strike? I have not noticed too much difference in programming. I do not watch too much daytime TV, and never watch sitcoms! How about you?

2007-11-13 15:06:06 · 23 answers · asked by CJ 6

My Advantium microwave/oven suddenly quit working. I love this appliance. Am baking bread in the big oven on the stove and heating up soup on the burner. I really miss the convenience. I hear it's healthier to not microwave foods anyway.

2007-11-13 14:45:20 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-11-13 14:34:18 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous