Marriage & Divorce - 29 December 2007

My husband and I separated. For 5 years he had treated me like dirt, cheating and being physically abusive. we have a toddler. We have separated permanently now. At the beginning his family were really great and supportive etc but as things got worse he started feeding them a pack of lies about me and trying to take the blame away from himself about the break up. They are good people and I dont know how a rat like my husband came from such a nice family but now I do not know how to deal with them. He is always telling lies about me (I hear snippets back) and I do not want to continue the he-said-she-said game any longer and I do not give my version or defend myself anymore.

I want to know how I can maintain a sort of relationship for the sake of our child as I want her to know both sets of aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents.
advice please.
Thanks

2007-12-29 03:34:49 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

they scream..and sometimes my dad leaves and goes to hotelss.

2007-12-29 03:18:45 · 15 answers · asked by sam w 1

If a married woman divorces and ends up with her lover who is an alcoholic & has nothing financially to offer her really be happy with him even though she feels she is in love with him. If her lover was filling voids in her marriage such as love & affection so she feels like she wants to be with him in the future but, is blind to the whole picture because she has never had the opportunity to be in a "living with him "situation really make that relationship work out in the end. Is it possible for her to see the light before divorcing if her lover continues to shower her with attention & affection because this is really all he has to offer? Has anyone out there ever been in this situation-divorced your husband to be with lover & then realized you made a big mistake once reality sets in. Also, can the lover ever really trust the woman who was cheating on her husband & feel he has to be on his toes from then on in for fear that she will leave him, also.

2007-12-29 03:12:18 · 13 answers · asked by Mary B 4

trying to better plan my retirement & hear that I can collect some sort of compensation for being married 10 yrs. or more...true/false? don't want to stir the ex or the new wife, is there a way I can find this out? i have pertinent info on the ex, ex:ss#. what advice is out there? thank you!

2007-12-29 03:10:13 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

We've been sending messages from time to time. I seem to say alot more than he does. He is listed as single and was recently dumped. He knows i'm married. When we contacted each other, he seemed happy to hear from me and asked me how i was. But it seems that i say and ask more about him than he does of me, if that makes sense. So, i decided to tell him why i needed to stop contact with him because i'm married and was thinking about him and the fact that he doesn't really say too much when we do talk. Should i have told him the truth like that or should i have just stopped emailing him altogether? I actually feel better now that i told him how i felt . Was that the mature thing to do or did i just open a whole other can o worms by telling him ? Part of me still wants to keep in touch as friends but then i think what's the point. My husband is cool with me keeping in touch with old friends. But the fact that i dated this guy and started thinking about him makes me worry.

2007-12-29 03:08:33 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

she left him. she bailed on him. left their son with him, rarely comes to visit her son, she lived 5 minutes away for the first 2 years, and only came to see her son like once every 3 months. now she lives by the san jose area and promised she would come see him every other weekend. she left the last week in august and the first time she saw him was christmas. its pretty obvious she doesnt want her kid. (she's a bit of a partier) but why does she have the nerve to be rude and disrespectful to me, and cry all the time about what she lost and "pity me" to everyone because he married me and we were only together for a few years and they were together for like 10 and never got married. Now her kid is all messed up in the head, he is being bad in school, nearly expelled many times, prolly getting held back this year and im the one who has to deal with it. cause she dont care. but she still cries all the time about what she lost.

2007-12-29 02:58:27 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

I told my husband last night that i had enough and he cannot use me as his doormat anymore and told him to get out of my life. Before he left he said no one will ever love you because you have two children and no one wants that burden and he said also mark my words you are going to struggle without me and go nowhere in life, he said that i should think about letting go of the marriage before its too late, i am starting to feel lonely and that mayby i just made a mistake in telling him and his abusive words to go, please how do i not feel so lonely

2007-12-29 02:51:53 · 28 answers · asked by Tanya P 1

and a husband or live in to take care of and she is always on the back burner?

2007-12-29 02:43:28 · 36 answers · asked by Gypsy Gal 6

I do not understand why when two people spend so many years together they can not end it and be civil. Why must they throw comments at each other about the past. Who did what and so on. Every time we speak about the children, he says something to stir a stink. How do you deal with it?

2007-12-29 02:29:07 · 9 answers · asked by sue 2 1

I have been living with my exhusband for the last 6 yrs and it has been great.We bought this house together and we share it. He has his room and I have mine. We always tell each other that we love one another, but the sex isn't there. And that is a choice we made together. We get along great. My kids who are in their 20's don't ever want us to marry each other again.lol Our family is very close and them seeing their parents together is something that most kids don't see when their parents divorce.I wouldn't change anything about our situation. If it's not broke,why fix it. Right! So what is your opinion. Only serious anwers please.

2007-12-29 01:13:53 · 31 answers · asked by sassynspunky03 2

I have been unfaithful to my husband. I don't love him anymore. We have seperated, he doesn't know that i was with any1 else. I feel so so guilty though, as we have 3 kids. I also suffer from severe depression and was in hospital. I really appreciate everything he did when i was there. He was a good Dad, but sadly only started being a good husband lately, but it's too late. However today I feel so guilty for upsetting him, as he still loves me, and I don't want to be alone, and i feel that I can't cope with the kids. All the time I have been depressed I don't like being alone. Do you think I should get back with him and say with no intimacy? or should we stay seperated? or what do you suggest? The idea of me being with him again repulses me. Obviously I do care for him, as we were together for 10 years, but not in the way I should, and it is not fair on either of us to be together, but I need advice PLS

2007-12-29 00:59:44 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

i knew a guy thru online since a few months.He proposed me.I told him clearly that i didn't see him from that point of view and cannot change my view.I tried to avoid him in many ways,by abusing him,picking up fights with him wantedly on silly issues but the guy still says " he loves me a lot and cannot live without me"..why do guys act this way..is this true love,lust or showing his strubborness to gain me some day..plz answer this?

2007-12-29 00:58:29 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-12-29 00:51:34 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

I been with this guy for 7 years, married two of them. The abuse isnt all the time, but when it is, its bad, I have bruses all on my arm, and if I scream he'll take the car, and other things that he brought that the kids enjoy. Man, its tough. How can I get over this, I want to hate him, and I'm so hurt, I know Im a good person, and deserve much better, but how can I get over this. You think I could so easy, since he put his hands on me, but its not. I have three girls and a 4mth old boy, and I want to get over this quick, I live in a place where, where I can afford the rent so I cant move, and I just know in a couple of days hes going to try to make me feel guilty and say many Im sorry's. I wonder what will happen on New Years, Help Me pleace, is there some kind of pill I can take...I need real good advice..

2007-12-29 00:39:31 · 24 answers · asked by vanessa 3

Me and my Husband split up yesterday, cos I don't love him anymore, and haven't done for a while, and it's not fair on either of us.
I suffer from severe depression, and find it very difficult to look after myself, let alone our 3 kids. All the time I have been depressed I don't like being on my own and am very worried about being lonely, and am scared about spending so much time myself. I know that I will dwell on things, and I will have noone to talk to, or cuddle when things go wrong. I shall have to cook every meal. Go to the shop every time I need something. Do everything in the home myself, and I don;t feel like I am a strong enough person for all of that. On top of it all, I feel so guilty, obviously I still care for the guy, just not in that way. He is the father to my 3 kids, and we have been together for 13 and a half years, so i am bound to miss him and the pain of missing him as a companion hurts, and i feel guilty for my kids sakes too. What should I do? I don't know

2007-12-29 00:36:56 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

the answers community says.. it's bad for my marriage...

now.. i hint, i tell - he gets defensive and annoyed. and says i'm small minded jealous, this that.

so what's the best way. how would u react if ur a guy, what's the best way to tell you that I don't like it and I don't want it....

Thanks, God bless.

2007-12-29 00:15:12 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-12-29 00:06:09 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous