My husband and I separated. For 5 years he had treated me like dirt, cheating and being physically abusive. we have a toddler. We have separated permanently now. At the beginning his family were really great and supportive etc but as things got worse he started feeding them a pack of lies about me and trying to take the blame away from himself about the break up. They are good people and I dont know how a rat like my husband came from such a nice family but now I do not know how to deal with them. He is always telling lies about me (I hear snippets back) and I do not want to continue the he-said-she-said game any longer and I do not give my version or defend myself anymore.
I want to know how I can maintain a sort of relationship for the sake of our child as I want her to know both sets of aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents.
advice please.
Thanks
2007-12-29 03:34:49 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would just let them know...look i understand that my husband is telling you things. i have to tell you that all i want is peace in my life so what i'm saying is do not tell me anything that he tells you, . I do not care to know, i just want peace in my life. I don't want to go back in forth with he say she say. I have better things to focus on such as raising my child. and if you want to continue our relationship the way it currently is then please respect my wishes, other wise i will have to change how we communicate with one another.
PS. sometimes you have to demand respect.
Let me ask you this and it will be my next question?
Do you want to be liked or respected?
2007-12-29 03:46:25 · answer #1 · answered by Thebronx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is tough in deed. Taking the high road is always the right thing to do. He will gain nothing by being petty and lying.
You are doing the right thing,
I suppose you could always get your lawyer to send him a knock it off type letter if it gets really ugly.
Continue to be civil to his family always and keep your child out of the fray.
It's not easy, but remember what goes around.... come around. Somehow his family will see you are not the evil one.
Good luck
2007-12-29 03:44:20 · answer #2 · answered by teritaur 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Swallow your pride here. If you are able to maintain some of these relationships for the sake of your child, your true spirit will be recognized by the x-inlaws in time. You will come out all right. Let him shoot off his mouth all he wants. The time will come when they tire of hearing his rants. He will come off looking like the bad guy he is. Try to be yourself, and promote your daughter first and foremost. Never bad mouth the x to anyone but your very closest friend. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it down the road when your daughter feels loved by everyone. Good Luck!
2007-12-29 04:02:19 · answer #3 · answered by judy y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reconnect with one member of his family. Like one that you were closest to like his aunt or his mom, dad, etc. Tell them what happened and ask for a chance to explain. Dont go in there talking smack about him bc then you will be like him. Be mature and talk like an adult with no regrets. "Im sorry it didnt work out, I went through alot, and I dont hate him, he's just not what I thought he was and it's time for me to make a change in my life for the better".
2007-12-29 03:48:44 · answer #4 · answered by Is that your final answer? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say to them: "I know that you love your son, and I don't want to do anything to create friction between you. So, I'm going to choose not to say anything negative about him. And I hope that you will choose not to listen to anything negative about me. I still think of you as family, and we share love and concern for (son's name), so I really want to have a good relationship with you." Then, when you need to vent, do it to someone else.
2007-12-29 03:42:17 · answer #5 · answered by Terri J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋