Jokes & Riddles - September 2006

I took a handicapped spot, had no handicap whatsoever, and there were policemen all around, but I didn't get a ticket. Why?

2006-09-05 11:26:44 · 12 answers · asked by babygirl4us 4

I have a friend who always plays jokes on me and scares me all the time. I need a website with one of those things were you are looking at a picture and all the sudden a scary face pops. u know what i'm talking about? I need 2 scare this person and do right on halloween so I can get him back for scaring me all the time, can u help me?

2006-09-05 11:17:08 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

I can be cracked, I can be made.
I can be told, I can be played.
What am I?

First Correct Answer = 10 points

2006-09-05 11:14:02 · 10 answers · asked by Chris D 3

The average person only gets 7 right. This is based on
U.S. info, so use all lobes of your brain.
These are 25 questions about things we see every day
or have known about all our lives. How many can you
get right?
RULES: Put your thinking caps on. No cheating! No
looking around! No getting out of your chair! No using
anything on or in your desk or computer!
Can you beat 20?? (The average is 7) Write down your
answers and check answers (on the bottom) AFTER
completing all the questions. REMEMBER-NO CHEATING!!!
BE HONEST!!! Let's see how observant you are.

1. On a standard traffic light,is the green on the top or bottom?
2. How many states are there in the USA ? (Don't laugh, some people don't know.)
3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?
4. What six colors are on the classic Campbell's soup label?
5. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?
I will ask the rest on the edit part and give the answers later.

2006-09-05 11:05:13 · 23 answers · asked by Abi 6

It took 5 men, working 24 hours a day, 5 days to complete building a wall. How many days will one man take to complete building the same wall, if he works for 8 hours a day?

2006-09-05 10:57:02 · 24 answers · asked by babygirl4us 4

this word has 4 letters, if you get it right, you get 10!

be creative!

2006-09-05 10:47:44 · 39 answers · asked by intal 1

the most random and funniest gets my 10!

2006-09-05 10:46:21 · 25 answers · asked by intal 1

a woman had a sweet tooth. She put on spoonful or sugar into her coffee. She put in another. Then she put two more spoonfuls into her cup. but the sugar dident get wet why?? ...

i dont get it please help

2006-09-05 10:40:32 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

I'm powerful enough to clean most anything,
Yet gentle enough to eat.

I'm used to make an explosion of sorts,
Yet can be found at millions of stores worldwide.

I can kill grass,
And even tenderize your meat.

I can clean up even the smelliest stench,
and soften your fabrics.


What am I?

2006-09-05 10:35:21 · 25 answers · asked by babygirl4us 4

2006-09-05 10:30:36 · 17 answers · asked by kris g 2

Who hit me?

2006-09-05 10:29:06 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-05 10:22:59 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

Blur edges, confuse travelers,
My thumb smudging the light.
I drift from rivers
To loiter in the early morning fields,
Until Constable Sun
Moves me on."

2006-09-05 10:22:34 · 6 answers · asked by Lia Kol 1

what animal is 3 times more likely to bite you than a shark. This is a serious question with a real answer, if you get it, you win.

2006-09-05 10:21:49 · 16 answers · asked by Ray 3

2006-09-05 10:12:52 · 26 answers · asked by smokindoggy 2

I wanna die while sleeping like my Uncle.
Unlike the screaming fellow passengers in the plane!!!! :-)

Any suggestions? :-)

2006-09-05 10:11:49 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-05 09:45:33 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

A father and his son where in a car and had an accident. An ambulance came for each of them and took them to seperate hospitals. The doctor came in to operate on the boy and said " I can't operate on this boy he's my son".
How is that possible ?

2006-09-05 09:45:24 · 30 answers · asked by willievanillie 2

Answer is not Christmas Tree.
I am looking for a funny answer. What?

2006-09-05 09:41:09 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Why did the farmer trade his wife in for an outhouse ?

2006-09-05 09:18:26 · 7 answers · asked by willievanillie 2

What do you think, and why?

2006-09-05 08:58:35 · 6 answers · asked by Coche 4

a customer walks in to Tony’s barber shop for a haircut. as he snips away, Tony asks, ‘so any gossip?' the man tells him he’s off for a long awaited trip to London.
'London?!' Tony says, ‘why would you want to go there? its full of English people and is freezing! well, how are you getting there?'
'we’re flying with FGA,' the man replies
FGA?! yells Tony. they’re awful. their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly and they never run on schedule! so where are you staying?'
we'll be at the downtown QE international.'
'that DUMP?!' says Tony. that’s the worst hotel in all of England! no heating in the rooms, grotty carpets, way overpriced! what are you gonna do in London?'
the man says, 'we're going to visit the queen.'
'HA! that’s rich!' laughs Tony. 'you and a million others! bet you don’t even catch a glimpse of her.' a month later, the man comes in for a visit. Tony asks, well, how did that trip to London turn out? betcha FGA gave you the worst flight of your life!'
'no,' answered the man. ‘the flight was excellent. Had a gorgeous air hostess and the food was better than anything I have ever eaten.’
‘hmmm, ’Tony says, ‘well, I bet the hotel was just like I described.’
‘no, quite the opposite! They’d just finished refurbishing. It’s the finest hotel in London, now. They gave us the royal suite for no extra charge!’
‘well,’ Tony mumbles, ‘I KNOW you didn’t get to see the queen!’
‘actually we were quite lucky. As we toured Buckingham palace, a guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the queen likes to personally meet some of her visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to wait, the queen would come out and say hello. Sure enough, after five minutes the queen walked through the door and shook my hand. I knelt down as she spoke a few words to me.’
Impressed, Tony asks, ‘tell me, please! What did she say?’
‘oh, not much really. Just, ’where’d you get that TERRIBLE haircut

2006-09-05 08:52:10 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

It's well known how crazy us men get when we get just a whiff of some poody-poo.Well,women sit over the top of one all day long.Think about it.

2006-09-05 08:39:29 · 11 answers · asked by twiztidsdad 5

jack and jill were found dead in a puddle of water....and the window was open....what happend?

2006-09-05 08:38:19 · 10 answers · asked by Lorena B 1

they were playing a "game of got your nose" and the baby won!

2006-09-05 08:14:34 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Chocolate?

2006-09-05 07:53:05 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous

two missionaries in Africa were captured by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put then in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there. as the water boiled and the water boiled and the heat grew more and more intense, one of the missionaries started to laugh hysterically.
the other missionary couldn’t believe it! he said, 'what’s wrong with you? we're being boiled alive! they’re gonna eat us! what could possibly be funny at a time like this?'
the other missionary said with a gleeful smile, ‘I just pissed in the soup!'

2006-09-05 07:34:06 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

here's a clue classic movie for the whole family to enjoy
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _
_ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _

2006-09-05 07:28:14 · 4 answers · asked by ? 4

I asked for some funny jokes before but didn't get anything that made my sick mom laugh. She got a little chuckle out of 1 but thats it. Jokes keep my mother mentally happy and helps keep her mind off her illness. Please send any jokes old or new that are hilarious. Thanks to all

2006-09-05 07:05:47 · 12 answers · asked by { Me } 2

How much dirt is in a hole four feet deep and two feet wide?

2006-09-05 06:49:02 · 9 answers · asked by tsd574 3