Sorry it so long, but well worth it. Courts gone mad. lol
>>>Time once again to review the winners of the Annual
>>>
>>>"Stella Awards."
>>>
>>>The Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled
>>>hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's (in NM). That
>>>case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous,
>>>successful lawsuits in the United States. According to reliable legal
>>>analysists, for every idiot who wins a case, thousands of other
>>>imbeciles don't make it that far. We can thank our lucky stars for that,
>>>because it's you and me who end up paying for these mental midgets
>>>awards as companies pass the cost on to the consumers.
>>>
>>>When I was growing up, my folks told me that if I did something stupid,
>>>I'd have no one to blame but myself. I guess the Stella awards prove my
>>>folks, and every other law-abiding, intelligent person who takes
>>>responsibility for his or her own actions, dead wrong! AND I firmly
>>>believe that everyone on these juries should be locked up and the keys
>>>thrown away!!
>>>
>>>
>>>Here are this year's winners:
>>>
>>>5th Place (tie):
>>>Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000 by a jury of
>>>her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was
>>>running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were
>>>understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving
>>>little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.
>>>
>>>5th Place (tie):
>>>19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses
>>>when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman
>>>apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when
>>>he was trying to steal his neighbour's hubcaps.
>>>
>>>5th Place (tie):
>>>Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had
>>>just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the
>>>garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning.
>>>He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and
>>>garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and
>>>Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He
>>>subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food.
>>>He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him
>>>undue mental anguish.
>>>
>>>The jury agreed, to the tune of $500,000. This is so outrageous
>>>that it should have been 2nd Place!
>>>
>>>4th Place:
>>>Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500. and
>>>medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door
>>>neighbour's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced
>>>yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might
>>>have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who had
>>>climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with
>>>a pellet gun.
>>>
>>>3rd Place:
>>>A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster,
>>>Pennsylvania, $113,500. after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her
>>>coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had
>>>thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
>>>
>>>2nd Place:
>>>Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a
>>>night club in a neighbouring city when she fell from the bathroom window
>>>to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while
>>>Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to
>>>avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental
>>>expenses.
>>>
>>>And drum roll please...........
>>>
>>>1st Place:
>>>
>>>This year's runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,
>>>Oklahoma.
>>>
>>>(This one sounds eerily familiar, like an urban legend, but it is a
>>>mater of public record in 2005 at the Superior Court in Oklahoma City.
>>>And it just goes to show that you can't protect stupid people from
>>>themselves.)
>>>
>>>
>>>Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On
>>>her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the
>>>freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the
>>>driver's seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich. Not
>>>surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned.
>>>Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual
>>>that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus
>>>a new motor home.
>>>
>>>The Winnebago company actually changed their vehicle operating manuals
>>>on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete
>>>morons in the world!
Lets all hurt ourselves, then sue someone else. Lol
2006-11-26
23:13:17
·
24 answers
·
asked by
Anonymous
in
Jokes & Riddles