A few weeks back, my boyfriend who i've been with for 6 months, called me his ex's name while we were in bed together. He said that he didn't mean to, but since then i've felt really insecure about it and i hate it whenever we see her. How can i get over this and forget about it?
2006-11-26 23:12:46 · 37 answers · asked by kb1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Bummer! That is a shitty one!
OK so, it does actually happen. Kinda like a slip of the tongue. I did the same thing to my b/f once. It really was NOT intentional! Just kinda happened. It feels terrible to be on the receiving end I know, but as long as you have made your feelings known to him, and he doesn't do it again - no harm, no foul. However, if he does it again - find a new boyfriend because this means he has NOT got over his X, and it was NOT a slip of the tongue. Give him the benefit of the doubt THIS time!
Maybe you should also think about mentioning to your b/f that you are uncomfortable with the fact that he still sees his X (if he does) and that this is the reason you may have over-reacted (I am not saying you did - it's just a bit of reverse psychology that will make him feel better about himself) to his blunder. As long as you are open and honest about how you feel, he can't turn around at a later date and say he wasn't aware of your feelings.
2006-11-26 23:55:03 · answer #1 · answered by dragonfly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There will always be two ways of looking at this and it will be entirely up to you to decide which.
1 - It was purely a slip up and that no malice was intended, it was just an innocent slip of the tongue.
2 - You can get very defensive and sensitive about it, possibly chasing away a guy who holds you very dearly.
I know that this must have hurt you and been a shock but we've all had moments when we've blurted out someone else's name by mistake. Maybe not to this exact level but I remember calling my sports teacher "Dad" when I was 12 (and the shame has lived with me ever since!! ha ha).
Try and put it down to experience, I doubt very much that there is anything there that you shoudl worry about.
After all, he's with you!!
2006-11-26 23:21:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he was with his ex for an extremely long time (years) then its totally possible so early in a new relationship to get tongue tied and no harm is meant.. if he and his ex only together short period then i'd say that theres unresolved feelings and you may be best to weigh up how much he means to you and back off a little if necessary.
2006-11-26 23:27:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ummm, my problem with that is that my current bloke could call me his ex's name in bed & I wouldn't know, we've got the same name. But then again, my last 3 blokes have all had the same name, so mayb there's some weird psycology going on in there.
Just be sure that it's you he's with in heart, even if not in voice.
2006-11-27 01:00:25 · answer #4 · answered by Bubbly Blonde 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is really nice, forgive him. He probably been with his ex for a long time and he need some times to change.;
You know him for such a short time, ask yourself these question.
Is he who you looking for with most of the boxes checked?
Is he a gentlemen? He listen to you MOST of the time when you need someone?
I know relationship is hard but you have to decide for youself.
There are lot more fishes in the pond.
2006-11-26 23:44:52 · answer #5 · answered by Singtel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"whenever we see her", this could be the key to it, i don't know how long this guy and his ex were together but clearly he hasn't got her out of his head, he needs a lot of time away from her before his head gets into a new routine. when we are in the thows of passion our brains are very vulnerable, he , at times still reverts back to the habit of using her name while making love, don't be too hard on him and don't be hard on yourself, it doesn't mean you are not satisfying him, it just means that old habits die hard. both of you need to ditch his ex, for good. good luck.
2006-11-27 00:12:45 · answer #6 · answered by john w 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really feel for you, this was done to me,even worse he was cuddling me in his sleep, and it was the name of a girl that i had always thought he burnt a candle for.It caused a lot of trouble. He said that it wasn't his fault that he said it, as he was a sleep.
In your case as it was his ex he could of been dreaming something not nice, you know bad memories etc so don't go to hard on him
2006-11-26 23:44:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi
I have been with my partner over 2 years now and every so often he calls me by his ex's name. I used to be insecure but hey they are men and men are forgetfull. Its you he is in bed with its you he spends time with bite your lip gently remind him your name and forget it he doesnt mean any harm Im sure
Good luck
x
2006-11-26 23:16:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know it's difficult but it does not automatically mean that he doesn't love you. Sometimes I still dream about a couple of my ex-girlfriends, who I haven't seen in over 12 years, but it doesn't mean that I still love them. Each morning I still wake-up next to my wife and I still love her very much.
2006-11-26 23:27:57 · answer #9 · answered by Hendo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she his ex-WIFE? How long were they together? Do they have children? Does he talk in his sleep about her?
If they were together a long time, he's probably just used to saying her name. If they have children, of course he's going to think about her, it's his children's mother.
Talk to him about it, tell him how insecure you feel, I think he'll have a reasonable explanation for you.
2006-11-26 23:27:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋