All categories - 21 September 2006

10. "We have a lost child at gate D-4, the bidding will start at $20."

9. "I'm sorry madam, but we cannot allow you to bring your cat on board. We don't yet know the effects of high radiation on our feline friends. And we are required to check your bags."

8. "Yes sir, we are aware of the biohazard tag on your luggage and no, you don't want to know its origin. I recommend you refrain from opening your suitcase."

7. "Yes sir, importing Cuban cigars is illegal, that's why the security officer had to confiscate them. What? He's smoking them? Hey! You rat! Save some for me!"

6. "I'm sorry madam, but our insurance policy does not cover punctures in your bags caused by our checking attendants. No, it also does not cover airline crashes. It does cover explosions prior to takeoff, however, and is our most commonly purchased package."

5. "Attention all airline passengers, your flight has been delayed."

4. "For those who have never flown before or who have never heard about the concept of a flying machine: We are currently experiencing 'turbulence,' a common by-product of 'air travel.' Please refrain from screams of mortal danger until we've safely landed."

3. "Madam, please take your food now, the tongs are melting."

2. "We apologize for the delay. Due to extenuating circumstances, our pilot is experiencing difficulties with his sobriety level. Please allow sufficient time for him to have additional shots of tequila."

1. "This is your captain speaking, on the left you can now observe the majestic Mount Kilamanjar... oh, crap!"

2006-09-21 04:34:06 · 20 answers · asked by DefenderOfTheMeek22 4 in Jokes & Riddles

jesus's real name is emmanual and it tells you so in the bible but chrisitans still call him jesus why is that? in the book of matthew the angel told joseph that mary would have a son named emmanual but people call him jesus after the fact of the name i wonder why they did that?

2006-09-21 04:33:56 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

Hello !
I just try to go on a website I've been using often but when the first page came it turned on something else and it was written "hacked by X".
What happened ? Will I be able to go on the site or not ?
Does it mean than my computer is no more safe for my password and personnals stuff ?

2006-09-21 04:33:56 · 6 answers · asked by lilou073 1 in Internet

I have golf balls I bought 3 years ago, are they still good?

2006-09-21 04:33:55 · 9 answers · asked by Ryan 1 in Golf

Just imagine withnessing the whole of human civilistaion just breaking down before and knowing the end of the human race will happen within the century

2006-09-21 04:33:54 · 7 answers · asked by what's up 1 in Movies

Or do you continue to listen and act like you don't know they just told you a lie?

2006-09-21 04:33:51 · 22 answers · asked by Kain 5 in Polls & Surveys

Cake rocks and always has. What is your favorite song off any album?

2006-09-21 04:33:41 · 18 answers · asked by LadyMagick 5 in Music

I got a perm a while ago..over six months ago, and it's starting to get less curly now. I really want it to last longer, perms are expensive! Any ideas?
BTW, it was just a curly regular perm, medium length hair.

2006-09-21 04:33:41 · 12 answers · asked by Charly 2 in Hair

Something natrual like Covergirl or neutrogena. Thats cheap. Any good makeup suggestions?!

2006-09-21 04:33:39 · 9 answers · asked by ilovecamplouise 1 in Makeup

Music related companies won't give you any support unless you are pulling a lot of punters to your gigs. How do you get people to your gigs without a music company backing for promotion, airplay etc. The small band catch 22.

I believe the music is good and the live shows are good.

Anyone got any ideas?

2006-09-21 04:33:35 · 16 answers · asked by honeyshape 1 in Performing Arts

2006-09-21 04:33:35 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

2006-09-21 04:33:35 · 3 answers · asked by Arul selvan 1 in Video & Online Games

Why cant we all accept others religions and live in this world without conflict? and why do we all believe that God, Jesus or Allah is greater than the other? arnt these names used to symbolize someone greater ourselves yet we all believe that we are right and others arnt?.

2006-09-21 04:33:35 · 22 answers · asked by mummy 3 in Religion & Spirituality

2006-09-21 04:33:29 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Seems to me very little. We now are friends with the Vietnamese and they have the govt. they wanted sans our objections, same as with China. Isn't it a lot easier to convert communists to capitalism by example rather than bullets and bombs. I really don't want to hear about "we lost our pride" type of bs either. If all you want to do is continue a war for "pride" then God help you; lives are much more important.

2006-09-21 04:33:28 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Politics & Government

2006-09-21 04:33:25 · 2 answers · asked by boojho 1 in Other - Health

will beer and xanax cause you to seem like you are having a hard time breathing/

2006-09-21 04:33:22 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Mental Health

2006-09-21 04:33:21 · 2 answers · asked by jam 3 in Celebrities

2006-09-21 04:33:18 · 23 answers · asked by ? 1 in Singles & Dating

and what exercise can you do to improve it..

2006-09-21 04:33:18 · 10 answers · asked by _Freak_ 1 in Basketball

could any of you make up a question answer being hydrogen,oxygen and nitrogen

2006-09-21 04:33:10 · 7 answers · asked by ? 1 in Homework Help

We are looking at 2 new ones an

AMD Athlon 64 bit 3700+ CPU
1 gigabyte DDR PC3200 Memory
160 GB SATA Hard Drive
3.5inch Black Floppy Drive
DVD Burner
N99 56K PCI Modem V92
Silver Gaming Case
128 MB nVidia Graphics Card
25 Title software bundle
Microsoft Windows XP Home MOE
ASUSTeK A8N-E nF4 Motherbaord and a

Intel Pentium D 3.0 Ghz Dual Core CPU
512MB DDR RAM
80GB SATA Hard Disk Drive
DVD-Burner
128 MB Graphics Card
Antec Lanboy Silver Case
Network Card
56K PCI Modem V9
3.5inch Floppy Drive
Microsoft Windows XP Home
Software Bundle

which is better of the 2 as we never used an AMD processor ,but reading it as good or better then Intels

2006-09-21 04:33:04 · 12 answers · asked by RUNNINGBARE 2 in Desktops

Im debating whether or not to get a little toyota rava4 with 20/25 gas mileage, is that too much or should i just stick with my mazada3????????

2006-09-21 04:32:57 · 10 answers · asked by Mayra 1 in Buying & Selling

i been did my sign in seal and now i find out that it might be a problem with the browser.so how do i delete the cookies off and how do i get to them plz be specific

2006-09-21 04:32:57 · 4 answers · asked by ChyNaDoLL 2 in Internet

IBM website says their Thinkpad 390E adaptor uses and Output of 16V and 3.65A.I' wondering will it blow the laptop.I picked it up the laptop and the owner says he hasn't used it for 3yrs and also forgotten the password..The actual generic adaptor is made by. ILAN Elec.Ltd. AC adaptor,model:F19603J,I'm thinking of trying to use on the laptop..I'm trying to salvage this laptop for daughter.Called up IBM no help.Thanks to everyone for your help and suggestions James

2006-09-21 04:32:55 · 4 answers · asked by Jimmey 2 in Laptops & Notebooks

walked into a room, and imediately wish you hadnt?

2006-09-21 04:32:54 · 8 answers · asked by - 6 in Polls & Surveys

2006-09-21 04:32:49 · 8 answers · asked by ashambra s 1 in Women's Health

If you dive in the bush , would swing on a vine?

2006-09-21 04:32:44 · 9 answers · asked by ? 4 in Polls & Surveys

language of india for exaple : " Good Morining This is Paula resperesnting the country of INDIA" may I have the speech using in indian words?

2006-09-21 04:32:42 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Preschool

2006-09-21 04:32:42 · 28 answers · asked by sexy_hot_relaxed 2 in Economics