10. "We have a lost child at gate D-4, the bidding will start at $20."
9. "I'm sorry madam, but we cannot allow you to bring your cat on board. We don't yet know the effects of high radiation on our feline friends. And we are required to check your bags."
8. "Yes sir, we are aware of the biohazard tag on your luggage and no, you don't want to know its origin. I recommend you refrain from opening your suitcase."
7. "Yes sir, importing Cuban cigars is illegal, that's why the security officer had to confiscate them. What? He's smoking them? Hey! You rat! Save some for me!"
6. "I'm sorry madam, but our insurance policy does not cover punctures in your bags caused by our checking attendants. No, it also does not cover airline crashes. It does cover explosions prior to takeoff, however, and is our most commonly purchased package."
5. "Attention all airline passengers, your flight has been delayed."
4. "For those who have never flown before or who have never heard about the concept of a flying machine: We are currently experiencing 'turbulence,' a common by-product of 'air travel.' Please refrain from screams of mortal danger until we've safely landed."
3. "Madam, please take your food now, the tongs are melting."
2. "We apologize for the delay. Due to extenuating circumstances, our pilot is experiencing difficulties with his sobriety level. Please allow sufficient time for him to have additional shots of tequila."
1. "This is your captain speaking, on the left you can now observe the majestic Mount Kilamanjar... oh, crap!"
2006-09-21 04:34:06 · 20 answers · asked by DefenderOfTheMeek22 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Funny... :D
2006-09-21 04:35:45 · answer #1 · answered by jmdanial 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Thank you so much you made my day. LOL LOL. Want to know a true story we were in Phoenix Arizona coming back home to Houston Texas. America West had to delay our flight for over 2 hours while they found a pilot. That is a true story. I hope you don't mind I printed a copy up to show my husband. I love it.
2006-09-21 11:41:32 · answer #2 · answered by Marenight 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
"This a special announcement for all passengers going to Dallas on flight 455. Flight 455 doesn't go to Dallas"
2006-09-21 11:37:06 · answer #3 · answered by Up your Maslow 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I loved the Top 3. Keep on rocking dude!!
2006-09-21 11:40:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's a weight limit per passenger.
2006-09-21 11:35:31 · answer #5 · answered by Salami and Orange Juice 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Scary.
2006-09-21 11:36:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
LOL Who do you think you are Jim Carrey or Eddie Murphy. Are you trying to make it as a comedian?
2006-09-21 11:36:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Another thing you don't want to hear in an airport:
Some guy talking to a friend named Jack on his cell. "Hi, Jack!"
2006-09-21 11:37:00 · answer #8 · answered by chrstnwrtr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I only have one... when your flight has been cancelled, you ask the pilot what went wrong and his only answer is there is this part...it broke. TRUE STORY!!!!
2006-09-21 11:36:55 · answer #9 · answered by katmanchu 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What if you were at the airport and they announced that your ship has finally come in?!
2006-09-21 18:24:43 · answer #10 · answered by JubJub 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
started out slow but one hell of a ending
2006-09-21 12:44:20 · answer #11 · answered by badDoug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋