99% of the time, I think the Bible, the idea of God and Jesus is stupid. I have too many questions (i.e caveman, incest, heaven, people in Africa will go to Hell even though they have never even heard of Jesus, God sending floods etc.) . But then that 1% of me really wants to believe in God more than anything. I want it so much, it hurts. I really want to commit suicide sometimes because I'm so overwhelmed (other areas of my life, too). I don't know what to do. I was happier being 100% atheist. But this summer, through an internship, I was "blessed" with three amazing people. They opened up my eyes to God. I mean, I had thought about God and Jesus before, but never like this. They really touched my life, and sometimes I think that if God does exist, this is His message to me. I am so alone and lost. I've been suicidal for quite some time, but since I've "converted" to agnosticism, I worry that I will go to Hell and that's the only reason why I haven't done it.
2006-08-02
16:51:34
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33 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
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Religion & Spirituality