Senior Citizens

use some common since,and be real a good joke may be in order for some

2007-10-28 03:36:37 · 21 answers · asked by gggggg 6

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, whilst travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

2007-10-28 03:06:23 · 31 answers · asked by ? 5

but a lot of your money? Spend, throw it around, give to charity, build houses for yourself or others, what?

2007-10-28 02:59:41 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-10-28 01:47:39 · 8 answers · asked by Livelife 5

The lady or man would come up to the car, take your order, and then bring it on a tray, that clipped on the window? Now it's drive through.

2007-10-28 01:33:14 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous

Or every week. Or every two weeks? Here we pay every two weeks. It is such a hassle. Other people have to pay rent every week.

2007-10-28 01:27:02 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

We would make a bonfire and have a pick-nik. Spash around in the water. Didn't have to worry about pollution, the water was so clear.

2007-10-28 01:04:17 · 20 answers · asked by Livelife 5

My boyfriend (now husband) use to take my little nieces there to watch the movies. They love the hot dogs and sitting outside the car with us. Then they would go to sleep in the back-seat.

2007-10-28 00:18:45 · 32 answers · asked by Livelife 5

Twice a year I get up on my soap box for a rare moan and I'm normally such a placid soul.

Personally I don't see the point of it (changing time I mean, not the moan). For one thing it's outdated in the 21st century with global communication and 24/7 living.
Don't give me the one about young children, they should be escorted to and from school anyway. And the dark doesn't stop the older ones going out.
What about the very young and animals - they don't know they have to wait an hour to be fed, milked or whatever then have to re-adjust again in 5 month's time.
There's no point in protesting to the politicians, they'll probably change night into day just to be more awkward! ha ha

I'm going on strike, I've changed the clocks and declared my house a GMT zone. I've always had one clock permanently on GMT now all the clocks are going to stay that way.

There, that's got that moan out of the way.
Ah! just noticed the computer clock, now shall I or shan't I?

2007-10-27 23:43:38 · 29 answers · asked by Florence-Anna 5

" Don't worry said the doctor we can give you something for that, but it may give you cardiac irregularities.
Me. " Cardiac irregularities"
Doc. " Yes but we can treat you for that but it might affect your liver".
Me. " My liver?"
Doc. Yes but but we have a new thing that sorts that out only it could give you kidney stones"
Me. " KIdney stones?"
Doc. " Oh don't worry we can control them with this new drug, some people experience a problem with insulin production.
Me. " Insulin production?"
Doc. " Yes,so what do you want to do?"
Me. " I'll stick with the cholesterol thanks".

2007-10-27 23:30:24 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning. Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask.

"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart."

2007-10-27 22:47:45 · 12 answers · asked by ? 5

Jealousy is never satisfied with anything short of an omniscience that would detect the subtlest fold of the heart.
George Eliot

Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative - self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. You will always think it's a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them.

In jealousy there is more self-love than love.
François, Duc de La Rochefoucauld

It is not love that is blind, but jealousy.
Lawrence Durrell

2007-10-27 21:46:24 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Indian Chief "Two Eagles" was asked by a white government
official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."
The Chief nodded in agreement. The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"

The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute
and the calmly replied, "When white man find land, Indians
running it. No taxes, No debt, Plenty buffalo, Plenty beaver,
Clean water, women did all work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex."

Then the chief leaned back and smiled. "Only white man dumb enough think he improve system like that."

2007-10-27 21:40:18 · 11 answers · asked by ? 5

2007-10-27 21:22:15 · 10 answers · asked by sophieb 7

2007-10-27 18:47:24 · 51 answers · asked by Ju ju 6

2007-10-27 17:04:24 · 29 answers · asked by shermynewstart 7

I just bought one. I'll let you know.

2007-10-27 17:02:12 · 10 answers · asked by shermynewstart 7

I really like Leslie Neilson and I think it was Lloyd Briges.

2007-10-27 16:35:10 · 22 answers · asked by ncgirl 6

My friend and I have lunches, walk in the mall, walk my dog ,sometimes a movie.

2007-10-27 15:41:03 · 18 answers · asked by ncgirl 6

In Justme case it will be monday I think but you are dtill included in the q. :-)

2007-10-27 15:36:37 · 27 answers · asked by ncgirl 6

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reuDc98bKYg&mode=related&search=

2007-10-27 15:36:29 · 14 answers · asked by Donna 7

I must admit, I have an expensive popcorn popper.

2007-10-27 14:54:30 · 28 answers · asked by Gem 5

Funny or serious, glad or sad, whatever you'd like written or what you think will be written about you. If you have more than one I'd be delighted for you to share them.

2007-10-27 14:34:19 · 17 answers · asked by Southern Comfort 6

"Mrs Ward, please."

"Speaking," she replies.

" Mrs Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your Doctor sent your husband's samples to the lab, the samples from another Mr. Ward were sent as well, and now we're uncertain as to which ones are your husband's. Frankly, it is either bad or terrible."

"What do you mean?" Mrs Ward asks.

"Well, one Mr. Ward has tested positive for Alzheimer's disease and the other positive for AIDS. We can't tell which your husband's is."

"That's terrible! Can't we just do the test over?" questions Mrs Ward.

"Normally, yes. But Medicare won't pay for these expensive tests more than once."

"And? What the hell am I supposed to do now?" she enquires, very upset.

"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."

2007-10-27 14:28:57 · 30 answers · asked by ? 5

My older children lost their Dad two years ago. This has made them realize they'd like to know my wishes. I'm fairly certain for the kids sake I'll go ahead and prepay. I just want to be sure inflation etc. cannot cause the plan to be dropped. As for myself once I'm gone I could caare less what is done with my body.

2007-10-27 14:25:43 · 23 answers · asked by Southern Comfort 6

When I was younger, 9 thru 13, my grandmother would take me with her on her herb hunting trips. She taught me the names – and how to identify- plants, trees, and bushes.
She even trained me how to identify birds just by their sound. I even learned tracks of different animals and various insects. At 18, I moved to the city. Today, to my regret, I remember very little of this wisdom.

2007-10-27 13:53:23 · 19 answers · asked by Gem 5

when you don't feel good.

My patience is short, I don't want to be bother, and the smallest thing gets on my nerve. I just want to be left alone until I feel better.

2007-10-27 13:14:08 · 29 answers · asked by Gem 5

What does Love mean?
Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it
Touching words from the mouth of babes.
What does Love mean?
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca- age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6

2007-10-27 13:04:31 · 17 answers · asked by Hannah's Grandpa 7

maybe this will wake thing up.

A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on.? They sit down and engage in an animated conversation that seems to be English.

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together.? I come once-a-more! Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."

The lady can't take this any more, "You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig," she retorted indignantly. "In this country we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives."

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
"Who talkin'abouta sex?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell Mississippi."

2007-10-27 12:49:42 · 19 answers · asked by Hannah's Grandpa 7

a beautiful young 60 something being pregnant. This is very important me so please answer honestly, as I really have to know, as I am, well I think I am having morning sickness. Or it could be my husband's cooking, so please tell me what you think.

2007-10-27 12:48:45 · 36 answers · asked by ? 5