This wasn't supposed to happen. This July 4th was supposed to be my deadline for how long I would let myself grieve my mother's death. I have been a wreck ever since then and have only seemed to worsen over time. Despite seeing several counselors and being on anti-depressants off and on over the years I am beginning to think I will never be okay again. I cry every single day. I try so hard not to, but I can't stop myself. I'm starting to forget her. It started with her voice and now I can no longer see a clear image of her face in my head. I literally have NO ONE. If I did, maybe I wouldn't be in this much pain still. I don't know what to do. It feels like the best years of my life have slipped away and I have spent them being miserable. In the meantime I derive zero pleasure from living. I hate everyone I know. There is so much anger inside of me I feel like I am going to explode. I am afraid of everyone and everything to the point that I barely leave the house. The only reason I am posting such a personal question is because I desperately need help. Does anyone have any light to shed on this situation? How does one learn to be happy? I have tried not defining myself as depressed because I think labels only prolong the pain. Other than that, I don't know what to do to make things better.
2007-07-03
19:14:03
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28 answers
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asked by
Aeryn Sun
2
in
Mental Health