My girlfriend does not have orgasms and she is also borderline personality disordered.?

Question

My question is, do others with this horrible disorder have same problem. Is there a conection there somewhere in their mental wireing .

Answer 1

Borderline Personality Disorder is a very difficult disorder to have lasting relationships with. She may be preventing herself from getting emotionally intimate with you to prevent the orgasms.

The thing with folks who have Borderline is they turn against those they love so quickly and so deeply.

I have seen BLD folks destroy their relationships. I have seen moms abuse their children or offer them up to sex offenders to punish the child. (those parents have been reported and prosecuted)

Bottom line: with so many people in the world, why risk the damage you WILL sustain by being involved with a BLD?

You will live to regret it.

Run far, run fast!!

Answer 2

Actually it's a "girl thing". A good deal of girls don't orgasm during sex. Some do, but others you have to go down on, etc. to get them to. Others don't reach their sexual peak until they're a bit older. The meds might also be a problem.
It's probably less of the disorder causing it, more of age/medication/comfortable or not. And some girls are just like that.

Oh, ignore the person up there preaching. Sex is a natural human thing, and I've been with my man three years with no marriage and we're active. We don't need to be married by the state and church to be monogamous :)

Oh, and borderline, DID (multilple personalites) and bi-polar are three TOTALLY different illnesses. My father had "borderline PD", it's an illness' name, it doesn't just mean "almost ill". In some people it cn be very dangerous if not treated. DID is multiple personalities that pop up and have no knowledge of each other, and bi-polar means that they are manic for a while (usually a few months) and then depressive over and over. These three are totally different and do not turn into one another.

Answer 3

Well, I know a book which might help. It's called, "I Hate You, Please Don't Leave Me." It's all about Borderline Personality Disorder written more for the layperson. You are in a difficult position. I do sympathize. I lived with someone with Borderline. She was a co-worker who invited me to join in as a housemate then proceeded to turn all the other housemates against me (a typical Borderline behavior I learned). She had a new boyfriend at the time, and I saw him go through something similar to what you are describing--the slow realization that the person you care about is really in trouble and while you care for them you don't want the craziness or the responsibility they put on you. With any person with mental illness, setting boundaries is important. Getting counseling for your own sake and for feedback on how to proceed can only help you navigatate you through a difficult journey. Best wishes.

Answer 4

There are a lot of medications that affect sexual performance, antidepressants among them. She wouldn't be alone in that category, as more than 60% of Americans are taking them at this point (which in my opinion, is more an indication of a serious societal problem than a mental health epidemic). If she is taking a medication that impacts her sexual experience, maybe she can talk to her doctor to find an alternative drug that treats her condition without the undesired sexual side effects.

But placing the burden of sexual expectation on her shoulders is undoubtedly enough pressure to keep her from reaching that point. If she is burdened by expectations, it detracts from her own experience and prevents her from being comfortable and relaxed enough to climax. The focus should be on the pleasure and desire to be close to each other, which should be motivated by a genuine emotional intimacy, absent of any and all expectations, and not merely a physical attraction by itself.

Also, girls may have different erogenous zones. The vast majority of females can climax only with clitoral stimulation, but there are some exceptions who need vaginal stimulation to climax. It's important to be able to discuss such intimate subjects openly and honestly (and comfortably) with a sexual partner, and to be able to find the pleasure in your experimentation with each other.

If she has a particular challenge attaining an orgasm, she may want to do some practice on her own through manual or power-tool assisted masturbation. You might also want to introduce some fun bedroom toys to mix things up a little bit. There is certainly no shortage of fun girl toys that vibrate, rotate, so on and so forth. A favorite of a lot of girls that I've known is called a "bullet", which is a very small powerful vibrator that resembles the shape and size of a bullet. It delivers powerful clitoral stimulation and is a wonderful addition to foreplay if she needs a little extra help. It's also a good toy for her to practice with on her own.

Answer 5

Orgasm is a person's response to pleasure. Pleasure from the sensory stimulation through intercourse or masturbation. If she is unable to express her pleasure either with your help or on her own, she needs help. Her personality disorder and this are interlinked.

If possible, seek professional help.

Ask her to read, "Sex Secrets of an American Geisha" by Kim Py Conant. A review of the same can be found at

www.barnesandnoble.com under the book.

Answer 6

Well this girl has problems with orgasms, I wouldn't count on things being any better with another GF with B.P.D..

If that's your thing, then good luck.

I was with a girl who had multiple personality disorder [dissociative identity disorder].

Sex with her was really cool because role playing just came natural to her.

Answer 7

Or maybe she just doesn't have orgasms with you. A personality disorder can affect her sex life. She may have problems letting go around you.

Answer 8

It may be the meds that keep her from orgasming. But by all means dont stop her meds over it. Maybe change atmosperes/places that you are having sex. Make it fun or make it romantic.

Answer 9

could be the medications she is taking...most of those meds that are taken for personality dosorders do cause sexual side effects..like no orgasms

Answer 10

Refer her to BPD, at the foot of page 1, at http://www.ezy-build.net. (.net.nz/~shaneris) & www.askemilyanything.com