My b/f and I have only officially been dating for a couple of months. Before we started dating we were just hanging out b/c he had an ex girlfriend issue where she was still living with him. She’s moved out now, and he hasn’t seen or spoken to her since, and I know that as a fact. (the ex is not the problem). All together we’ve only really been dating for a couple months, but we’ve been actually hanging out for about 7.
Since we first started hanging out, before we started dating, I really liked my b/f. I’ve had very strong feelings for him, and I feel like he’s the one I’m meant to be with. Of course though, at the time we met, we were at different mindsets, and we still are. He’s in the mindset where we’ve just started dating and wants to see where things so. I, on the others hand, have fallen in love with him and I really see a future with him. We were talking tonight on the phone, and he sensed that something was bothering me. I feel like and idiot for saying this to him now. I’ve been trying to figure out for a while now if he loves me or not, and I told him that since he hasn’t been open about it. He almost instantly said “if that’s what you’re looking for in a relationship right now, maybe we should stop seeing each other”. I smoothed it over, b/c it didn’t come out the way I meant it, but now he thinks I’m just in a relationship b/c I’m a needy person who needs reassurance about being loved and stuff (which I am not).
After I mentioned that, he went on to say that after the past relationships that he’s been through, he said it takes years to really realize if you really love someone. He went on to say that he wants to go with the flow and see where our relationship goes.
I’m just really confused about him for several reasons. 1.) Before we were actually dating he told me that he really liked me. 2.) He’s told me that he really cares about me. 3.) We spend time together all the time, and we talk on the phone everyday. He calls me sweetie and hunny. 4.) I’ve met some of his family already. And 5.) He’s already talking about what we’re going to do for my birthday which is in December, and also about Christmas which means he’s thinking ahead.
He’s had a bad history of girlfriends cheating on him or using him. He’s said that he’s never really had a good relationship with a girl. I told him that I really cared about him, and that I would never hurt and that if we ever had any problems I would want to work them out and that I would never want to ruin anything with him. I then said that I would never hurt him, and he responded by saying that it was inevitable.
I’m so confused!!! Why does he seem so cautious with being with me, but then treats me as if he really cares about me and makes and effort to spend time and talk with me, and introduce me to his family. I don’t want to lose him, but I feel like he’s afraid that I’m going to hurt him and he’s afraid of how much he likes me. Help me out please!!!
2007-09-20
16:02:02
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24 answers
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asked by
Anonymous