I was dating this guy for about a month and he told me he had two kids and I was fine with that. When he spent time with his kids I didn't have a problem with it because he still had time for me. Anyway his baby momma has other kids too and he takes care of them also because their dad is a deadbeat. What botherd me was that he wasn't able to spend a lot of time with me because not only was he going to his kids functions which I didn't have a problem with but he was telling me he couldn't hang out with me because he had to go the other kids that weren't his things also. This started to aggravate me I didn't mind that he couldn't spend time with me because he had to be with his kids, but to be with his ex's kids that weren't even his bothered me when I wanted to spend time with him. Do you think this was mean of me for feeling this way?
2007-09-20 16:11:52 · 12 answers · asked by hanna 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
They're his kids. Sorry sweetie...family comes first.
2007-09-20 16:16:59 · answer #1 · answered by Alecto 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Since you know he's going to be spending this much time with these children, even those that aren't his, then I'd say find a man that has more time for you. You knew he had these children in his life when you met him... I'm guessing he didn't hide this fact from you.
And it's quite possible you're being selfish for expecting him to not spend time with these children.
But on the flip side, he's being selfish for keeping you on the back burner. If he's going to have so little time for a social life, then he shouldn't even entertain the idea of dating someone. Being a good father is never a bad thing, but if he's going to have little time for dating someone who doesn't have children too, then he needs to be more understanding just as you do.
I wish you good luck with it all; especially finding a man who has more time for dating YOU! =)
2007-09-20 23:19:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He might have spent a lot of time with those kids before him and his kids mom broke up, and they are the only father figure they have. If their real dad doesn't see them, you should let him see those kids and try not to get too jealous over it because they really need a father figure growing up, and this guy seems like a good guy for being their for them.
2007-09-20 23:19:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you are wrong for feeling that way.. but honestly.. some people have big hearts and are compassionate- there is nothing wrong for a person to go out of his way to help others (specially kids) you are seeing it as him helping her.. but what about the kids? You honestly need to be a bit more understanding. If you cant handle it- then dont be with him. In the end a man with that much responsability will never stick .around a woman who naggs about that. just being honest
2007-09-20 23:20:42 · answer #4 · answered by Yari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand him standing up like a man to taking care of his children as for taking on his ex wife or g/f kids that were not a part of there life when they were together no she the ex should be getting some sort of legal advice in regards to the dead beat dad.And he should be enjoying time with you and his kids.
2007-09-20 23:23:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, either he's gonna date you and maybe he can invite you too. I commend him for stepping up to the plate for the other children, but him and babymomma still got something going, otherwise he wouldn't put you on the back burner for the other kids that are not his, he can invite you to those outings too, if he's not trying to hide anything or is he spending time w/ the whole family?....
2007-09-20 23:19:45 · answer #6 · answered by mskash 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hes just a nice guy he want to be a father figure for the other kids but you never know who could be lying about spending time with the kids
2007-09-20 23:18:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no its not mean of u to feel this way.he shouldnt take u for granted that just because u r going out,that u shuld only c each other when its convenient for him.if he keeps like this,he aint worth it.it may not have been what u wanted to hear,but its the truth,sorry.but they are his kids,so u should give him a bit of slack.just say u want to spend some time with him,not all the time
good luck^.^
2007-09-20 23:18:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only reason I could see him seeing the other kids is if he was in their life for years and was still attached or if they all lived together in the past. You didn't say. If they didn't maybe he still was attached to his EX and wanted to keep her in his life. He should've let go and moved on. Are you still speaking to him? and did you talk to him about this? Now I'm curious.
2007-09-20 23:21:21 · answer #9 · answered by whisperer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes.. think about it.. all what he is doing is being a male role modle for the other kids that is not his.. More like being a big brother.
2007-09-20 23:19:55 · answer #10 · answered by K_LOVE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know of a friend that does that same thing but when he goes to those gatherings he brings his girlfriend with him. With the understanding with the baby mama that this is my girl and you are here for the kids not to please his baby-mama.
2007-09-20 23:24:26 · answer #11 · answered by tiana2404 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋