Jokes & Riddles (Entertainment & Music) - February 2007

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Smart a** Answers?

1) A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed at her. Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.
2) A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
3) The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

2007-02-22 11:54:10 · 5 answers · asked by Blak Jesus 2

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If a man came in to town on friday and left two days latter on tuesday how did he do it ??

It's a riddle do any of you know the awnser ..

Riddle # 2 what weighs more a 1,000 pounds of bricks or a 1,000 pounds of feathers ??

2007-02-22 11:52:04 · 22 answers · asked by ::♥Breezeway♥:: 2

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Lincoln vs. Kennedy (this is really weird!!!)?

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the
White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln 's Secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln .

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in
1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in
1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born
in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born
in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

(more to come)

2007-02-22 11:43:41 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

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do u like to have laugh?

Today my daughter finally past her theory test after 5 attempts, my friend and i were supposed to go to a uni lecture (yes we are ancient students) But because she was so thrilled we made it her day. we went in build a bear and went halfs on her bear as long as they made her do all the kiddy things withthe heart and all that and were tutted at by many. Then we went to wilkinsons and i tried onall the reading glasses un be known tome my daughter and friend hadhid round the corner, I couldnt see a thing, so i was puttingmy face into products and saying loudly, now i know why(blah blah) and I was asked to leave! Did I hurt anyone? please tell me !

2007-02-22 11:35:18 · 11 answers · asked by squawinpants 3

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Is there a color that starts with the letter a?

2007-02-22 11:28:04 · 19 answers · asked by Tuzita 1

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The more hair I lose the more head I get ?

Taken from the best selling book Two swallows don't make a spring,but a very good...............................................By E Cad

2007-02-22 11:16:23 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

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who is sitting next to me?

2007-02-22 11:15:45 · 8 answers · asked by 4Chantl 2

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how many licks does it take to get to a center of a tootsie pop?

2007-02-22 11:12:07 · 9 answers · asked by martie 1

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does anyone has a funny phrase or one-liner to yell out that get people to laugh?

were having a laughing competition, it sounds odd but please go with it

2007-02-22 11:03:23 · 12 answers · asked by jimmyz755 2

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~x~ What something does everything have? ~x~?

Think about it...

2007-02-22 11:02:37 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

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I figured out a way to prove everything is evil!!!!!!?

Step 1: Choose a noun that u would like to prove is evil
Step 2: Take all the vowels from the noun and "throw away" all the other letters.
Step 3: Associate each vowel with a number A=1 B=2 C=3 etc.
Step 4: Add the numbers together
Step 5: multiply by 348
Step 6: divide by 2
Step 7: Multiply by 3.45654
Step 8: divide by 65554
Step 9: It should be a decimal move the decimal point to the left until u get a single digit that's not 0 in the ones place. associate this number with a letter again.
Step 10: Dicard all the math u just did and remember how u took out the vowels. Well the word evil starts with a vowel so everything is evil!! lol

2007-02-22 10:51:16 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

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Did you know I saved a woman from being raped today?

Details after Jeopardy

2007-02-22 10:50:57 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

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a riddle that you should get easily?

ok so there is a family wishing to cross a river they find a bot that can hold 150 pound the 2 kids weigh 75 pounds each and each adult weighs 145 pounds how many times will the boat have to go across the river to get every one across??????????????

2007-02-22 10:45:45 · 29 answers · asked by brandon p 2

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why does the?

why does the word bed look like a bed....

2007-02-22 10:45:06 · 12 answers · asked by chris w. 7

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What questions arn't appropriate for the answer "Your Mom"?

Any thing other than "What did you do for dinner last night?"

2007-02-22 10:43:35 · 14 answers · asked by Jazzi 1

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how many words can u come up with....?

from the word(s): DEOXYRIBOSE NUCLEIC ACID (please number the words as u go along)
=) ----good luck

2007-02-22 10:42:13 · 7 answers · asked by music ♥ 5

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What should I do I think I am in love with two girls?

2007-02-22 10:21:26 · 15 answers · asked by OPIE-STANGTHANG 1

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after forming a problem statement, one must conduct... what?

2007-02-22 10:19:16 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

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Irish and Scottish?

Homosexuals :-

Irish..John Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzjohn.

Scottish..Ben Doon and Phil McAfferty.

Can you think of any more nationalities?

2007-02-22 10:12:39 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

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Fist thing you do when....?

you're asleep and dreaming while sudenly you realize that you are awake but just dreaming. Quick you can contol your dream... what's the first thing you try to do? (keep it clean)

2007-02-22 10:11:14 · 4 answers · asked by talofa lava 2

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nother riddle?

You are in a room, compleatly sealed in. There is 4 walls a roof and a floor. there are no windows or doors. The only things in the room(other than you) are a mirror and a table. How do you get out.

2007-02-22 10:10:13 · 8 answers · asked by Slowkips 3

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