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tips to stay focus while writing && just tips in general on wut to keep in mind when writing a personal song or poem?

2007-07-11 18:42:29 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

It is a little sketchy, just a draft... but it's the story of my first love.



As we emerged from under water,
which was oh so warm,
You caressed me gently,
“Forever yours,” you swore.

I gazed into you sapphire eyes,
My heart beating with lust,
You and I were all that mattered,
The entire world was us.

You kissed my lips so softly,
The lake consuming us,
I wrapped myself around you,
Perfect bliss and trust.

I only had eyes for you,
And I was all you saw,
No matter what life threw at us,
It could never close our door.

I’d die for you and you for me,
As we swam around together,
Locked in everlasting love,
This love could not be severed.

As years went by you came and went,
But our bond was everlasting,
Each time we spoke or just locked eyes,
We knew this feeling was not passing.

I was your first and you were mine,
We were each others only,
Until the day we drifted apart,
Since then I’ve been so lonely.

2007-07-11 17:10:42 · 10 answers · asked by Kira 4

Let me know what you think :D

I have added more info so I can hopefully get to know my fellow friends and poets better.

Send me your "hot spots" as well and I'll be sure to check them all out kk?


**New Poem**

The One...


Only in our dreams
it seems
sometimes,
the one we plead
Is not the one
we truly seek
but, think
they're all we need...


Thanx for readin' everyone, what a great group of people you are *^_^*

All the Best, Shad @)~>~

2007-07-11 16:21:42 · 5 answers · asked by ? 3

i haven't written in a while yet i have so much to say...

2007-07-11 16:16:40 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

the last laugh

as the pain spreads throughout my body
my only thought is of you
you did this to me
i hope one day she does this to you too

what makes her so much better
so that you leave me behind
dying inside to a point of reality
she is as horrible as you one day you will find

i am trapped in this world of sorrow
for my hopes are gone
there is no point of living for tomorrow
i guess i will say goodbye

as i watch down on you
the same pain i felt is now yours
you now see the reality of it all
i am the last to laugh of course
oh yes the last laugh is mine

by Audrey O


do you like it?

2007-07-11 14:08:19 · 12 answers · asked by Audrey♥ 2

2007-07-11 13:18:16 · 2 answers · asked by babe 1

What do you do when you’ve lost all hope,
Turned in your dreams for that long-lived rope,
Swear that the world has turned its back,
There’s no point in living that’s fact,

I’ll end it tonight,
Ill prove it to you,
We were supposed to last forever,
But that would never do,
You wanted someone else,
And I wanted you,
Ill end my life tonight,
And prove it to you,

I would never break your heart,
But now that you’ve left,
There’s nothing left for me,
Ill end my life tonight,
And then you will see,
We were meant to be,

There’s nothing stopping me now,
I’ve got the knife,
I’ll do it tonight,
Ill end my life,
All I needed was to hear your sweet voice,
Call out to me,
I will die tonight and then you will see,

I hope that one day you will see,
That it could have lasted forever,
We were meant to be.

2007-07-11 12:05:38 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-07-11 09:43:48 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

The new day falls thundering
as an avalanche
racing to consume the old day
I grope for purchase
on the walls of what I know
the status quo
I resist the rush
the crush
of the tumbling hours
that furnish my
living labyrinth
as stones and bones
in a cemetery tomb.

2007-07-11 09:25:13 · 4 answers · asked by pat 4

The Unsung Heroes of Mother Earth

Grey, red, sandy and black
Lying in a heap as though dumped from a sack
Hard, irregular and unfeeling
They lie there dormant, without apparent meaning
Each one forged from the bowels of the earth
Common, yet each one with its own particular worth
Grey, which was fashioned into axes and arrowheads
Red, mined for the ore it shed
Sandy, which was carved into blocks to make walls
Black, which was burned to give warmth within the halls
At first lifeless and inert they appear
Yet, these minerals have sustained mankind for many a year
Giving warmth, security, shelter and tools
They helped primitive man to walk tall
And turned wandering tribes into great nations
These simple stones, have been the jewels of civilisation.

2007-07-11 08:24:22 · 19 answers · asked by malcolm g 5

This is a short one so I hope ya like it:

Love is a four letter word that is in my vocabulary no longer. You made that permanent for sure.
When I was with you I lost my 'cool' and you saw you didn't like no fool.
You left like you came but I'll never feel the same.
I must have said somethin wrong, somthin totally off-the-wall cuz now you don't call.
I'm still hoping 7 months later I wake from sleep to her my cell beep sayin I'm forever yours to keep. But I know it won't come true I'm wasting my time with you. I don't want to fool with you nomore bur for some reason I can't get you out of my head.

2007-07-11 08:21:51 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

I like to write poems and short stories and I'm really good at them and I'd like to submit some of them to a contest where you could earn money for them but I dont know of any contest! If anyone knows of any could you please let me know? I'd really appreciate it!

2007-07-11 07:51:19 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

i wrote this poem i just want peoples opinions please.

He left a little glow
Goddess tell me why i ache so much,
This increasing pain wont go away,
It started with a simple touch,
Ended so fast seemed like yesterday.

There is a prescious glow inside my womb,
We wre careful it must be fate,
Now hes gone my hearts a tomb,
Now i feel much love and hate.

Little glow inside i hope your fine,
I wont abandon you or lead you stray,
My heart will only heal in time,
Your fathers the one who went away,

Ill love you forever this i promise you,
He dosent want to help raise you my dear,
Little glow it will end up us two,
I pray goddess the glow inside will not emerge in a world full of fear.

FOR MY LIL PERSON INSIDE MY PERSON.
BY GEMMA E XX
written when pregnant

2007-07-11 06:51:32 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am slowly going crazy
In world full of drama
The drama is my demise
If I can only find a sanctuary I may yet come out of this alive
A sanctuary of peace, of hope, of caring, of love is my dream '
For a person to hold and to care.
To pull me up instead of pulling me down
Is what I need to live again.
To be alive to hope and help others is what I seek
I feel like a eagle caught in a snare yearning to fly but held down by sorrow and pain.
To fly, To love, To hope and dream without pain, without sorrow is what I dream of.

2007-07-11 06:17:02 · 9 answers · asked by The HotDog 2

Jehovah is my helper!

Hebrews 13:6 'Jehovah is my helper; I will not be afraid'

We live in this sick wicked system of things so far and deep.
We try each and every day forever in Jehovah's mind to keep.

We have so many things in our life, sickness, Old age, depression, and anxiety that all seems so wrong.
We know Jehovah never meant for any of these pains, but if we stay close to our brothers and sister we will stay strong.

Our brothers and sisters are not perfect, yes this is true.
So let's try not to be so critical of them, and allow them to help us when we are blue.

Isaiah 41:13 says "Do not be afraid" That Jehovah is grasping our right hand.
When we have problems come up in our life we have to remember for Jehovah to take our stand.

(it is a long poem so Im gonna have to add several times)

2007-07-11 04:11:49 · 20 answers · asked by Learn about the one true God 3

Just in case you were wondering...
=]]]

2007-07-11 03:20:50 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-07-11 02:45:49 · 5 answers · asked by pooh 3

As I sit here in dispair
With razors running thru my hair
Wondering how I will look
I want to look, just like the book

First she lifts me up and down
Then she spins me round and round
Now she tells me she's all done
But why did all the women run

Then she says she missed a spot
Oh my god, she did not
Where is all the hair I had
Oh she says you'll be glad

Girls will see you from afar
Even at your favorite bar
They will think that you are kewl
Some of them will even drool

So I'll go there really fast
Making sure the jell does last
Get a seat out in the back
Put my hat upon a rack

First I'll offer one a drink
Or maybe try a subtle wink
That one turned around to look
Oh my god I need to book

Sure are ugly women here
But they all look good with beer
Guess this wasnt my best night
Cause all I got, was just a fight

2007-07-11 02:02:24 · 7 answers · asked by gary_b04901 1

Stay Brave
Invincible It was you who,
Kept me from big mistakes.
The ones that cant be taken back,
Maybe we didn’t have that oblivious life,
Times when I wished your death,
Curse you in frustration,
I use to wish you away,
Now I never want to see you leave,
Use to believe,
Tomorrow was a place you would always be,
Taking it for granted,
That a next time there would forever come,
Now that life’s but a flicker,
Thinking back on days we use to bicker,
Now,
I see your face,
And wish it would never leave my sight,
I never thought,
That life could pass,
Right before my eyes,
Living and pre-tending everyday,
That everything’s okay,
Slipping from my grasp,
I hate knowing,
Life is going by so fast,
As you leave my hands,
I’m wishing that the day would never stop,
If it meant the end of sibling rivalry,
Still I hold my strength,
To stay brave,
Because only time and space,
Can keep you away,
I stay awake at night,
Praying everyday that you will be ok,
Hoping,

2007-07-10 22:19:32 · 8 answers · asked by Sh00ting_St@r! 4

Woman’s Point of View
04-30-82

Look at it through a woman’s point of view
Your out always so late at night
You never come home what else am I to do.
You say you love me then turn and leave.
You take time out for sick friends
But you won’t talk to me.
Tell me what I am to do
Your always gone on weekends
You won’t leave a number to call
When I call the office your always gone.
No one knows where you are
Oh tell me please what I am to do
Just once look at you through a woman’s point of view.

2007-07-10 21:07:44 · 6 answers · asked by Sam 4

Superstars

Now pictures on a tattered page
To eyes like mine reveal no age
My mind admits it’s being so
The many times I’ve been told
But never did I want to know
That Superstars grow old.

Somewhere in the distance there’s
A love that can not die
For the memory is stronger then the question asking why
Still as night approaches and
Dreams of you unfold
My love forever lives
While Superstars grow old.

Up upon a mountain there’s
A house old and gray
Where Superstars go and memories fade away

2007-07-10 20:31:51 · 6 answers · asked by Sam 4

Who is your favorite poet and poem?
mine
Robert Frost -
The Road Not Taken

2007-07-10 20:17:44 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

My life falls apart.
The stars fall down.
My friends all scream,
They don’t like me.
I lose my closest friend in the world.
Everything is going wrong,
But I continue struggling along.
A little peep into my world,
You will start to unveil.
And see my heart is really falling apart,
like my teddy that’s falling apart!

2007-07-10 18:52:58 · 6 answers · asked by Katja ie tattybow 1

Will you write me a short poem, Nothing Sappy! and it must rhyme. the best one get the points!

2007-07-10 18:35:48 · 13 answers · asked by phil W 3

Let not the bull spread ugliness
Let not the ball
of flowers scatter skulls
in the conglomeration of blue stones
let not bleeding beads in tragic costumes

formulate their evil laws
We have requested the whiskered donkey
not to dance on our thighs
Ladders are drenched in fresh blood
have started forest fires have startled the heavenly love birds
Grass at last is tamed
The pig shapes of the lurid moon in horror howl
are as insane as any kabir as any fakir
Ancient is the needle's eye
behind the curtain by mistake
She attempts to steal a glance
reveal a chance
Masked beauty pumps out
the flower dust of pumpkins
Tender is the pipal twig
and yet the flag the thunderbolt
The roused cobra never attacked it
hence the lanes have narrowed down
Who is this mister this clandestine angler
of night's sad breast milk more mad than man?
Does the sea beckon thee? see the sea's mocking gestures
O the sword arm of the sleeping red furnace
How it shines amidst the burning rubbish heap'

2007-07-10 18:19:24 · 3 answers · asked by geyamala 7

Hey Yahoo! Poets!

Today I really had poetic inspiration...I was wondering if this new poem of mine could really bring me to success? I have studied poetic greats and I really think this has potential to be a classic. (My friends love it!) Anyways, it's still a little sketchy, but I really dug into my heart with this one. Tell me what you think!

Lonesome snowman on the tree branch of my heart
Electrocuted on telephone wire
I don't know anything about
Kareoke
Snowflakes but they
aren't Excavated the Pumpkin Seeds
but we are not alone here
is like a little bird
in the Mighty cave
I miss my goats

Anyway, I really tried for imagery on that one. Tell me what you think, I'm anxious to know!!!

2007-07-10 16:24:04 · 9 answers · asked by simon ritchie 1

Critique this poem

I want to be a wolf not a woman.
I want to be surrounded by my kind
I want to have four strong muscular legs not two flimsy ones.
I want to be free to roam wherever I please
I want to cry to the moon late at night with my pack.
I want to sleep in a den with warm furry bodies surrounding me.
I want to take down a buck with my pack mates.
I want to fight and get all bloody to become alpha female.
I want to be able to run swiftly through the forest.
I want to be woken up every morning with a lick on the nose.
I want to wrestle with my friends and have a good time.
I want to sleep all day long and stay up late at night.
I want to be a wolf.

2007-07-10 16:18:00 · 8 answers · asked by ~CarterRose~ 1

Last Goodbye

My tears are falling with the rain
The water on me is hiding my pain.

How could you treat me this way, I treated you good
I gave you all the love I had, hoping you would return it back
But now I realize it wasn’t meant to be
I still feel for you, like I know you do.

I still wake up at night reaching out for you
But we need to go on and forget each other
Because we know there are always others
So next time you’re standing in the rain asking why. I will tell you this is my last goodbye.

Do you feel bad for what you did?
I can tell that the answer is no
Well you’re out of my life; I don’t care where you go.

If you’re in love you don’t treat that person bad
But that’s what you did, we're over
Will you miss me? Do I really care? Cause I can go on now, knowing you not there.

My peace has returned, my peace has returned
This is my last goodbye, my one last cry out to you.

2007-07-10 15:14:56 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

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