The Unsung Heroes of Mother Earth
Grey, red, sandy and black
Lying in a heap as though dumped from a sack
Hard, irregular and unfeeling
They lie there dormant, without apparent meaning
Each one forged from the bowels of the earth
Common, yet each one with its own particular worth
Grey, which was fashioned into axes and arrowheads
Red, mined for the ore it shed
Sandy, which was carved into blocks to make walls
Black, which was burned to give warmth within the halls
At first lifeless and inert they appear
Yet, these minerals have sustained mankind for many a year
Giving warmth, security, shelter and tools
They helped primitive man to walk tall
And turned wandering tribes into great nations
These simple stones, have been the jewels of civilisation.
2007-07-11 08:24:22 · 19 answers · asked by malcolm g 5 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
I like the way you have taken the elements found at an archeological/prehistoric site and written your poem to convey the meaning these stones held for those long gone inhabitants. It's nice the way you set up gem-like colors in the beginning of the poem and then ended the poem with the metaphor of the jewels--which they essentially were in terms of their value to those people and their societies.
2007-07-11 08:40:00 · answer #1 · answered by readerlady 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was expecting something cringe-worthy but I read it out-loud and enjoyed it. Well, that could have been the simple enjoyment of hearing my own voice. The word 'civilisation' should be plural, of course. The question is, how old were you when you wrote it? If you're 20 now, I'd say, well done.
2007-07-11 08:34:02 · answer #2 · answered by Stella S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's quite good acutally. I've always liked writing poetry! (can't say much only 14) but seriously that is really good. The one thing to remember about poetry is that your feelings are normally the best poetry you can find!!!
Well Done :)
2007-07-11 08:34:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds great! Definately poetry from back in time!
Its a keeper.
2007-07-11 08:29:15 · answer #4 · answered by lookin4hope 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bloody Hell Malc
2007-07-11 08:28:53 · answer #5 · answered by Albinoballs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no meter. The rhyme is awkward. Your message unclear. Dump the rhyming scheme and concentrate on your concrete language.
2007-07-11 08:35:45 · answer #6 · answered by pm 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
wicked. If you still have the talent to write like this then get a publisher.
2007-07-11 08:34:08 · answer #7 · answered by davidm9870 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I like it, its really good!! Well done! Your poem is kinda true too. Keep writing if you love it, and you will succeed even more!! :D
2007-07-11 09:02:45 · answer #8 · answered by *luna's lover* 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Original subject, and very well written. I like it!
2007-07-11 08:34:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Love it (even tho poetry doesn't HAVE to rhyme to be good).
2007-07-11 16:57:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋