i wrote this poem i just want peoples opinions please.
He left a little glow
Goddess tell me why i ache so much,
This increasing pain wont go away,
It started with a simple touch,
Ended so fast seemed like yesterday.
There is a prescious glow inside my womb,
We wre careful it must be fate,
Now hes gone my hearts a tomb,
Now i feel much love and hate.
Little glow inside i hope your fine,
I wont abandon you or lead you stray,
My heart will only heal in time,
Your fathers the one who went away,
Ill love you forever this i promise you,
He dosent want to help raise you my dear,
Little glow it will end up us two,
I pray goddess the glow inside will not emerge in a world full of fear.
FOR MY LIL PERSON INSIDE MY PERSON.
BY GEMMA E XX
written when pregnant
2007-07-11 06:51:32 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Thats lovely,have a well earned star..x..
2007-07-11 06:57:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love the sentiment...
but it needs some clean-up
fix this stanza and i'm in..!!
"Ill love you forever this i promise you,
He dosent want to help raise you my dear,
Little glow it will end up us two,
I pray goddess the glow inside will not emerge in a world full of fear."
2007-07-11 14:21:30 · answer #2 · answered by The cat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that's quite touching... I'm sorry if this actually happened to you and the father ran away... I'm so glad that you appear to care so much for your special gift within. Keep up the positive attitudes to how you bring up your little darling.
2007-07-11 13:54:34 · answer #3 · answered by Linds 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nice
2007-07-11 13:58:37 · answer #4 · answered by Matt G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was lovely and if it was written while you were pregnant make sure you put a copy in your babies memory box or book and when they get older they will be able to see how much you cared.
2007-07-11 15:42:18 · answer #5 · answered by lulubelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To bad about the father , but the poem is nice
2007-07-11 14:01:44 · answer #6 · answered by fanoflacrosse 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great poem! My only suggestion would be to cut out some unnecessary words. Great poem though!
2007-07-11 13:57:45 · answer #7 · answered by BluhBluh 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I absolutely love it but if I were you I would make the first like its own stanza. Make sure not to put all of your works ouot here because they can be stolen. Copywright it its really great.
2007-07-11 13:57:38 · answer #8 · answered by Danielle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very touching X
2007-07-11 13:57:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's nice, it's sweet. Sorry to hear about the situation though x
2007-07-11 14:05:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋