As I sit here in dispair
With razors running thru my hair
Wondering how I will look
I want to look, just like the book
First she lifts me up and down
Then she spins me round and round
Now she tells me she's all done
But why did all the women run
Then she says she missed a spot
Oh my god, she did not
Where is all the hair I had
Oh she says you'll be glad
Girls will see you from afar
Even at your favorite bar
They will think that you are kewl
Some of them will even drool
So I'll go there really fast
Making sure the jell does last
Get a seat out in the back
Put my hat upon a rack
First I'll offer one a drink
Or maybe try a subtle wink
That one turned around to look
Oh my god I need to book
Sure are ugly women here
But they all look good with beer
Guess this wasnt my best night
Cause all I got, was just a fight
2007-07-11 02:02:24 · 7 answers · asked by gary_b04901 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Funny!
2007-07-11 05:20:26 · answer #1 · answered by TD Euwaite? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good humor, and the form fit the topic and style. You have some rough spots with meter and a few forced rhymes, but all are easily fixed if you just have someone read it out loud (don't coach them on "how" to read it, just let them read it so you hear the hard spots) and you'll see what needs changing. Very comical and lots of promise. Keep editing.
2007-07-12 19:16:04 · answer #2 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's humorous. Very funny.
I loved it.
One question, though: were the spelling errors made on purpose or just a mindless accident??
2007-07-11 03:40:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's funny
"sure are ugly women here"
"But they all look good with beer"
nice.
2007-07-11 05:40:54 · answer #4 · answered by Ashamed2beHuman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hilarious!!!
2007-07-11 05:56:21 · answer #5 · answered by wendyonisland 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummmm...
its ok and i thinks a bit humerous
2007-07-11 02:11:46 · answer #6 · answered by † ☺yasmin☺ † 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i love it
2007-07-11 02:06:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋